


chemistry

by hufflepuffmackenzie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Divergence, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hogwarts, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Size Kink, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Underage Drinking, alternative universe - hogwarts era, dracos rings, sixth year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 51,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27362284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepuffmackenzie/pseuds/hufflepuffmackenzie
Summary: "after everything we've been through, you expect for me to just walk away?"sixteen year old venus just wants one normal year, is that too much to ask?school has always been a safe place for her, she has friends that she'd consider family, teachers that have high hopes for her, and a good view from the hufflepuff table. the one thing that Venus doesn't need is draco sodding malfoy ruining her potions mark.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is also being posted on wattpad!

Hi guys !!! very excited to procrastinate my studies in order to write this :)

first up we have our main character

we have oona laurence as venus tugwood-zabini

anthony turpel as theo nott

louis cordice as blaise zabini

tom felton as draco malfoy

saoirse ronan as jules pickette


	2. prelude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this just just some extra info to make this book make more sense :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now we’re all ready to start

only the characters of Venus and Jules belong to me.   
—

Venus' parents were murdered by voldemort during his reign of power, leaving her orphaned. her mother was a well-known pureblood, and the zabini's took her in as an infant. 

when voldemort fired the killing curse at harry, it ricocheted and hit him back, immediately killing him. harry was still orphaned, but went on to live with his god father. 

the malfoy's are not death eaters, but lucius is still a pure-blood elitist prick. because draco no longer has to obey his fathers wishes in order to keep his family alive, he enjoys rebelling in his free time ;). 

this story takes place in year six, for this books sake cedric is in the same year as everyone else.

-

CHARACTERS HOUSES

venus is a hufflepuff but also a bad bitch who's a bit careless

theo, draco and blaise are all in slytherin like normal

jules is a hufflepuff as well, however many believe that she was misplaced and should have been in slytherin 

-

STORY CONTENTS

yes there WILL be some spicy chapters,,,, ;)

if that's not your cup of tea, i will put warnings beforehand :)

if anything needs a TW, let me know !

if you see any errors please point them out so i can fix them !

if a character i mention is not on the fancast page, assume that they look like their movie character unless told otherwise 

this story is intentionally written in lowercase

i love you guys i'm so excited to write this !! let's get to it :)


	3. o n e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> venus cannot fail potions this semester, she just can’t.

i pull mum and dad into a tight hug just outside of platform 9 and 3 quarters. they stopped coming in with us back in fourth year, but i still tear up none the less. saying goodbye always hurts. but mum always reminds us that this is never goodbye, and family is forever. i wipe my tears with the paws of my sweater as blaise hugs them, as he's done he throws his left arm around me, pulling me into a half-embrace. i'm always grateful for the zabinis. grateful that i had a family so willing to invite me into their home with open arms. blaise has never once said anything negative about me (to my face). he treats me like a friend, and i love him for that. when i see blaise, i see a brother. although he may be loud and obnoxious and sometimes too crude to handle, he'd hex anyone who messed with his family. i admire him for this. with the turn of our heels, we push our carts onto the platform without a second look. she is one of the strongest, most courage women i've ever met, and everyday i'm amazed at the kindness she's shown towards me. she took me in as if i were her own daughter. she and my mum were the best of friends in their hogwarts years, and she always says that i look like her. i think that deep down, it hurts her to see me sometimes. to be reminded of who she's lost. but she powers through it, and comes back stronger each time. after we both safely cross over the barrier, blaise offers me a warm smile as he goes off to meet his friends. i take a moment to bask in my surroundings. coming back to hogwarts is like taking a breath of fresh air. my eyes follow blaise, and i see him saunter up to the boy with platinum blond hair. malfoy. draco malfoy has always been indifferent towards me, but then again, i think he's indifferent towards everyone but slytherins. it's always hit or miss with him, when we were kids, sometimes he'd tell me i did a good job during a quidditch game, or tell me that a joke i made in herbology was funny. but now, he's distant. it seems that he's colder, more abrasive than ever. he turns his head back to look at me, his signature sneer written on his face. i lower my head and scurry off to find my friends. after searching hogwarts express for what feels like hours, i finally find where i'm supposed to be. i slide the door open, and with a thump i drop my trunk onto the floor near my feet. i know that i'll be too tired to get it from above later. across from me sits my two best friends. they're my rocks truly, i think i'd be in azkaban if it weren't for them. i wait for one of the two to look up, it's jules who does first. "holy shit! miss girl got hot!" she yells as i blush. she's not right, and she's not wrong either. i was a weird looking kid! my hair was patchy, and my teeth grew in all the wrong directions. but over the summer i took it upon myself to not only change my appearance, but be happy with the end result. i got wizard braces, which were on and off within the snap of moms fingers (it hurt like a bitch, but i got ice cream for days). i learned what a skin care routine was, and boy was it magical. jules' crude joke gets the attention of luna, who looks up at me with her big doe eyes. her smiles so contagious i find myself grinning right back. "oh venus, your nargles are nearly gone!" she exclaims, her voice as whimsical as ever. she rests her chin on her palm as she gazes over at me. i chuckle a bit at luna. everyone calls her loony, but really i think that out of everyone at hogwarts, shes the smartest. i think that she truly sees more than the average wizard; she has gifts. she also happens to be one of the kindest students we have. during first year, luna went out of her way to sit beside me in every class that we had together. i really struggled with making friends at first, i was shy and people knew that i was related to blaise,a well known slytherin, which automatically put me in their bad books. but luna never once looked at me different. she was always kind and soft spoken, never rude, but she never once let anyone undermine her. "hey hoes, how was your summer?" i ask, moving around on the bench to get as comfortable as possible. for extra measures, i kick off my shoes and put my leg on jules' lap who's sitting across from me. "oh mine was just amazing. i found a gnome infestation under the floorboards. there's three families of them, although the kindwildes don't take kindly to me, funny enough" soft spoken as ever was luna. her voice soothing and comforting, i honestly think it might've been my bi awakening. actually scratch that, luna in general was my bi awakening. “well since i know you're all dying to know about mine; i shagged theo!" jules whisper-shouts. both mine and lunas eyes bug out of our heads as we stared at her. "what? he's quite fit, stop looking at me as if i have three heads!" she giggles. the unwanted images of my best friend and theo nott having sex invaded my mind. i fake a gag for theatrics sake. "stop talking. i don't want to hear anymore." i beg her. “oh, but i think you do want more!" she yells. "he was huge." she emphasizes every word as she says it. "also it was great and i haven't talked to him since, but i think i'm gonna make him fall in love with me." that last sentence is what made my head spin. "woah woah. alright. let's take a minute. a brief pause if you will. don't ever repeat that to me again. let's just debrief here," i take a pause, attempting to get the oxygen back to my brain. "so you and theo had sex once, correct?" i ask her. she responds with the nod of her head, and a grin that resembles the cheshire cat. "and you haven't talked since you had sex, correct?" she sighs," yes venus, i told you this already! now hurry up with your interrogation, i wanna tell you guys the juicy parts!" i gag again, although this time i'm not sure whether its fake or not. "first of all, don't refer to any of this as a 'juicy part' or i'll throw up. second of all, you said you're in love with him now?" i screech, leaning my elbows on the table and making direct eye contact. she groans exasperatedly," no i'm not in love with him you nit-wit!" she reaches out and slapped me upside the head," i said that i think that i'm going to force him to fall in love with me!" she says, as if that makes any difference at all. and as if reading my mind she continues," listen, i think i'm gonna make some type of weird slytherin plan and make him fall in love with me," at this point, luna is all ears, leaning towards jules, looking intrigued as ever. "so if the plan works and he falls in love with me, he'll never need to know that there even was a plan in the first place. and if it doesn't work, which won't happen, then i'll explain to him my plan, and he'll be amazed at how much of a slytherin a hufflepuff will be and he'll fall in love with me anyways!" shes out of breath by the time she finishes, and i'm still starting at her as if she has three heads. "well," luna pauses," that's a plan alright." she giggles. forever the optimist that one. "alright, so..." jules begins to tell us every gory detail of that night. i attempt to zone out, astral project myself somewhere where i'm safe and how hearing about my best friend and theo notts sex life , but i catch myself listening instead,"it's my dads birthday right?" i cut her off with an obnoxiously loud, "ew jules!" she aggressively shushes me and continues on. "and of course my dad invites his family. theo is apparently a total badass because he brought an entire bottle of fire whiskey!" she exclaims as if this is the most exciting life event that will ever occur."we didn't drink all of it of course, but we both took some shots and went to go play some muggle game up in my room. it's called 20 questions, it's actually a fun way to get to know each other." "well it must be good, you two knew each other pretty well afterwards," says luna, her smile unwavering. "anyways, he starts asking me about sexual shit and i'm like 'oh damn!' because you guys know i've had a crush on him since third year." it's true. in third year theo was dared to streak down the great hall, and ever since jules has been head over heels. "and basically things happen, badda bing badda boom, and we had amazing sex," she sighs contentedly at the end, her eyes glazed over as if she's reliving it. i put my hand in front of her eyes and snap,”hey! earth to horn-dog!" before i can poke fun at her some more, the door slides open and in pops the one and only, cedric diggory. merlin it's like every year he gets more and more gorgeous. i smile as he takes his seat next to me, tossing all of us a chocolate frog as he does. i catch mine and begin to unravel it. i get bertie bott, who i've got about five of at home. "hello ladies," he quirks a smile at us," what did i miss?" "well ced, you just missed dear jules here telling us abo-" i'm cut off abruptly by jules herself. “no telling cedric!" she screams, her normally pale cheeks flushing a deep shade of red," at least not until we can make sure he won't tell," she trails off, seemingly embarrassed by her outburst. cedric on the other hand just laughs it off, muttering something about 'dramatic girls'. with the blow of the horn and the grinding of the gears, the hogwarts express finally begins to leave the station. i lean my head on cedrics shoulder an allow myself to dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n  
> comment what type of kinks y'all want in the spicy segments ;)


	4. t w o

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> draco malfoy will be the end of venus’ world.

the sorting ceremony is the same as it is every year. it starts off with dumbledore preaching for inter-house unity, and ends with uncomfortable silence when kids are sorted into slytherin. 

although i'm not a slytherin, i still empathize for them. it's completely unfair that there's prejudice against them, especially over things that they have no control over. it makes me sick thinking of what the young slytherins have to endure, all the beatings from other houses, stinging jinxes thrown their way in the hallway just over the colour of their tie. 

i can remember the first time i ever saw blaise cry. it was second year, and i found him in a windowless cove. at first i didn't know it was him, i was just following the sound of pained sniffling. i found him hunched over in a corner, crying because a fifth year had attacked him after dinner, leaving him covered in hues of purple and blue. 

i look over at the slytherin table at the thought of blaise, and i see him being as charismatic as ever, charming all the girls in a ten-foot radius. i smile, he's always loved attention. especially the attention of girls. 

it seems as though the feast ends as quick as it once started, and our food vanishes with a 'pop', leaving all the first years at a loss for words. i love watching their reaction to the first time, it's like a kid on christmas, but amplified to the max. 

"ms. tugwood-zabini?" i hear madame sprouts voice from behind my shoulder. i smile up at her as she hands me my schedule for this term. 

i scan it over quickly, trying to commit as much of it to memory now before i inevitably lose it. ugh double potions with snape. snape is my least favourite professor, he's completely monotone and i don't even think he likes kids! jules has a conspiracy that he has some type of grease-charm on his hair, because no matter what day it is, there always seems to be an amount of grease so nasty that it makes salazar turn in his grave. 

with the final words of the night, dumbledore sends the houses to their respective common rooms. i stand with jules to my right, we make our way to the hufflepuff common room. along the way, i can't help but notice the blond hair peaking out above everyone else's. 

"did malfoy get taller or am i crazy?" i whisper to jules. she absolutely lives for gossiping. 

"dude i was waiting for you to say something. he's gotta be what, like six foot one now?" she exclaims. it seems as though every year we come back, draco malfoy ends up sprouting up more than imaginable. 

"merlin, i'm honestly quite scared of him, who needs to be that tall?" my whisper begins to raise, and jules motions for me to quiet down. 

"oh rubbish youre not afraid of him, you're in love with him." she pouts her bottom lip, batting her long lashes at me. playfully, i smack her upside the head. 

"okay fine, maybe in fourth year i developed a little crush on malfoy, but ever since he started being an utter ponce; i've given up! honestly!" she rolls her eyes and giggles quietly," and would you stop saying the word love? i'm gonna ban it in our dorm," i huff. we walk in a comfortable silence to our common room. 

once we arrive we spot cedric standing by a potted plant, he motions for us to come over as he begins to water it. 

"what ced?" i ask him as i admire the leave of this plant. they're such a gorgeous shade of green, so full of life. 

"well," he trails off," bring me to your dorm and tell me what you were talking about earlier." he puts the watering can down and crosses his arms. 

i glare at jules. i want absolutely no involvement in whatever plan she has. 

"cedric you can't use that face," she whines as cedric gives us puppy dog eyes," it's not fair, you know pretty much every girl used to be in love with you," she stomps her foot jokingly, although i'm sure there must be some seriousness to it. 

"hey, what did i say about that word?" i ask her. if i have to hear the L word one more time today, i think i'm gonna internally combust. 

"sod off the both of you!" snaps jules with a huff," fine. cedric, follow us." without another word, she turns on her heel and heads toward the girls dormitory, dragging me by my robes along with her.   
i look back at ced and mouth 'run while you can' at him. he chuckles and smirks that smirk of his. 

upon reaching our dorm, jules sits down on a bed that i assume she's claimed as her own. she motions for cedric and i to sit on the bed beside it, so we do. 

jules begins to explain what i've deemed the 'nott nut situation', and i watch as ced's naturally flushed cheeks turn a bright shade of crimson. by the time she's finished explaining and answering all of his questions, he's left speechless. his mouth opens and closes and the lines on his forehead deepen as he struggled to find words. 

"well uh," he finally manages," good on you, theo is quite fit," he stutters out. jules let's out a cackle and leaps forward, wrapping her arms around ced's neck. 

"i knew you'd understand," she turns her head to the side and sticks her tongue out at me, smiling manically while doing so. 

"i understand why you'd shag him," cedric pushes back on her petite shoulders so that they're face to face," what i don't understand is why you want him to fall in love with you" he deadpans. 

"well i'm not too sure either but it seems like lots of fun," jules laughs, and cedric and i can't help but laughing either. 

it's moments like these when i realize how much i'm going to miss this when it's over. the dorms, the laughs, the stupid missions that we set up. i smile softly as i get out my wand. i poke cedric in the back with it lightly, motioning for him to get off of my bed. with the flick of my wrist, and the muttering of a spell, the contents of my trunk begin to place themselves in my room. the abundance of sweaters go in the top drawer, the family portrait goes on my night stand, and my stuffed bear goes on my bed. 

my parents were murdered when i was too young to remember, i have no memories of them whatsoever. what i do have, is this bear. the beat was apparently given to me by my parents on my first birthday. it's all that i have left of them. 

i lean onto the bed, so that i'm in my side with my knees half curled. while cedric and jules are off in their own conversation, i reach out and caress the fur of the bear. the comforting softness eventually lulls me into a light sleep

i wake up what i believe to be hours later by jules playing with my hair, she's in my bed and my head is cushioned by her chest. 

"hey bub," she whispers, not because she has to be quiet, but because the atmosphere would change if she weren't, and neither of us want that. "how was the nap?" she asks, her nails making patterns on my head. 

i yawn before answering," it was good, how long was i out for?" i reach up to rub at my eyes. i squint in the darkness and look at the window to see the moon, it doesn't look any later than midnight. 

"only eleven, your sleep is gonna suck tonight," she giggles, and i feel her start to braid my hair. i've always loved when she did that. 

"whether i'm awake or not i'll still learn the same amount in potions," i say only half-joking. i look up at her in time to see her quirk a smile. she places a kiss upon the top of my head and mumbles into my hair," i really hope this is a good year."

and before i can even think of a response, my eyelids close and i feel the comforting warmth of sleep take over my body.


	5. t h r e e

my eyes are heavy as i feel jules flick my ear,"wake up. wake up. wake up," she chants over and over, her breath warm against my ear. 

"mmnng" i groan into my pillow, not ready to get up and actually be productive today. 

with a sigh, jules gets up. thinking i've won, i let my guard down and snuggle deeper into my pillow. big mistake. before i know it, my blanket is ripped from my clutches, and ice cold water is being expelled from jules' wand onto my bed. 

i let out a loud screech as i'm rudely jolted awake. with my soaking wet hair covering my eyes, i do my best to instill the fear of merlin into her. i scowl and squint my eyes at her, but i don't think i look very threatening because she bursts out laughing. 

falling to the floor she gasps out," you look like an angry chihuahua." shes still letting out gasps of air by the time i've dressed and gotten my bag. looking down to where she is on the ground, she looks like a maniac. her hair is messy, crowning her like a halo. her mascara she had applied earlier is running lightly from her laughing, and her robes are creased from laying on the floor. still, she manages to look as beautiful as always. 

"come on you git let's go," i huff as i reach i hand down to her, pulling her to her feet. 

we walk slowly to potions, our first class of the day. any class that's this early in the morning is awful, but a class this early in the morning that's taught by snape of all people? salazar i'm tired just thinking about it. 

we finally reach the potions classroom, but it seems as though we're one of the last people to do so, seeing as though there's only four empty spots in the entire class. one is in the first row, which is basically a first class ticket to get spat on while snape talks. another is in the far left hand corner, however it's directly beside pansy who absolutely hates me. the other two are directly in front of each other, on beside theo nott, who is sitting directly in front of draco malfoy. meaning that the only other available chair close to jules would be beside draco malfoy. 

it seems as though jules and i notice this at the same time. soon enough, we're both racing to the seat beside theo nott. jules obviously wants it so that she can make him fall in love with her or whatever, but i want it so that i don't have to sit next to malfoy all year. 

as if were in some medieval game of musical chairs, jules tips the chair just as i begin to slide on, sending me toppling to the floor. i wince as i hit my elbow on the hard surface. i look up to see jules smirking down at me, just before she turns to talk to theo. 

i can hear jules giggling to theo as i take my seat beside malfoy. he doesn't even spare me a glance. 

"that was quite a show ms tugwood-zabini and ms pickette," snakes monotone voice drawls on as i notice for the first time that he's sat behind his desk. my face flushes as i look down, the engravings on the desk suddenly very intriguing. 

snape begins to tell us our lesson plan as i zone out. my eyes glaze over, and i'm not sure how many minutes pass before i'm brought back to reality by the sound of metal lightly hitting wood. i look to my right to see malfoy fiddling with the silver rings on his fingers, ever so slightly tapping them against the table as he does so. it's entrancing really, seeing his thin, long fingers fiddle with something so delicate. 

my thoughts are interrupted as one of the hands that i'm watching raises.

"i'd prefer to work alone," i hear malfoy say, but refuse to look up at him. 

"my decision is final mr. malfoy, there are to be no exceptions." snape drawls out every last word, each one seemingly taking hours to finish. draco huffs at snapes response and grumbles under his breath. he crosses his arms and slowly leans back against his chair with a huff. 

"these projects are due by the end of the term. failure to do so will result in a dreadful." with the wave of his hand, snape dismisses us. 

as the class disperses i find jules," so, wanna be partners for the project?" i ask her, although i have absolutely no clue what the project truly entails. 

like always, she scoffs and rolls her eyes at me. "we're you even listening," without even answering she knows my response," no wonder you're not a ravenclaw. who you're sitting beside is your partner dummy." she exclaims, looking ecstatic for herself, yet unsure for me. 

"oh"

"yeah oh, but i'm sure it'll be fine right?" she says. forever the optimist she is. 

"what's the project on?" i ask. man i really should pay more attention to snape.

"we have to brew a weaker version of amortentia, it will give off the same smell as a normal brew, but if consumed it won't work." brewing positions really is not my strong suite, but i need an O in this class in order to pass. "listen, from what i've overheard draco is like a potions god, so don't even worry about that," she attempts to sooth my worries. 

we arrive at defence against the dark arts three minutes before it begins, so this time we have time to find seats that we prefer. 

"how were things with theo?" i ask to try to change the subject. 

"oh my god he is more gorgeous than i remember," she gushed, tucking a strand of dirty blonde hair behind her ear as she blushes. 

before we know it, professor lupin walks in and we are whisked away into class work, giving me no more time to think about stupid love potions and stupid silver rings.


	6. f o u r

the last person i expect to approach me during dinner is malfoy. so when he does i'm at a loss for words. 

"when do you want to work on the project, zabini?"he's always referred to me by my last name, but never my biological last name. i've never fully understood it, and i'm not sure if i ever will. 

i turn to look over my left shoulder and i'm pretty much face-to-face with malfoy's crotch. blushing, i look up so fast that i think i give myself whiplash. looking up at his face isn't any better. he's pointy in all the right places, his cheekbones sharp and his nose sloped beautifully. his pale skin contrasts perfectly against his dark robes. 

after what seems like minutes of staring at him, i'm finally able to form a sentence,"whenever." smooth. concise. to the point. it's fine, i'll just overthink this conversation later. 

"does tomorrow in the slytherin common rooms work for you?" he asks, his voice deep and smooth. git. 

"uh yeah, but i'll need the password," i stutter out, eloquently as ever. 

he raises his eyebrows at my request. "no. i'll meet you outside the door at 8." and with that, he turns and heads back to the slytherin table where i see blaise staring at me with concern. 

when i turn to my right, jules' eyes are bulging out of her head and she looks to be about ten seconds from combusting. 

"oh my god, why was that kinda hot," she whispers, not that anyone could hear her shout over the noise level in the great hall. "like, him telling you to meet you outside his common room. whew." she whistles as i blush. 

"nothing is going to happen between me and malfoy, i'll probably do the work and have him look over it, that's it" i say, scooping up some potatoes with my spoon. suddenly, with the thought of later i'm not longer hungry. i'm consumed by anxiety. what if jules is right, what if something happens between me and malfoy.before i know it i'm laughing, because that is absolutely insane and would never happen in a million years. 

i look over at jules," in your dreams" i grin. 

"oh you know it!" she laughs, knocking my elbow with hers. 

the time back at our door seems to move as slow as molasses. i still have thirty minutes before i have to head over to the slytherin common room, and it feels like jules is freaking out more than i am. 

"what if he kisses you? would you kiss back?" she says to herself really, because i stopped paying attention an hour ago," oh you better kiss back. aw what if me and theo and you and draco go on double dates that's cute."

"why are you even on about jules, i'm just going there for this project," i sigh, playing with my hair as a distraction. 

"it always starts as a project, and then the next thing you know you have two little blonde kids," she mumbles and i sputter as she does. 

"i am not going to have sex with draco malfoy!" i exclaim, offended at the mere thought of it. 

okay maybe i'm not offended by the thought of it, because he is quite fit. but i'm offended at the thought of my best friend thinking about it. 

after twenty more minutes of jules' rambling, i get to my feet and stand up, turning around once i reach the door. 

"if i'm not back by tomorrow morning. please send a search party."

rolling her eyes, jules shoos me away with the motion of her hand. i flick her off with my right hand as i reach for the knob. i hear the pillow she threw at me hit the door after i close it. 

i take the scenic route to the dungeons. walking down every possible corridor before finally reaching my destination. it's dingy down here, i've never been the biggest fan of it. 

i see malfoy's shadow standing ten feet from the entrance, i walk over and attempt to shake my nerves. 

"zabini," he greets me,"you're four minutes late." he sneers, looking down on my short stature. i try not to fiddle under his intense gaze. "where are you textbooks and parchment?" he asks and my mind goes black. fuck. 

"oh merlin i knew i forgot something!" i exclaim, making a fool of myself in front of malfoy. 

he rolls his eyes, similarity to jules and mumbles "it's whatever, you can borrow mine," and without another word he heads towards the common room entrance. he says the password so quietly that i begin to doubt that he said anything at all, and then i hear the telltale creak of the door opening. 

draco steps in gracefully, his long legs taking long strides as im barely inside. i hear the sound of concrete rumbling and i turn around to see what was once the entrance turn back into a wall. okay maybe that's a bit cooler than hufflepuffs, but i still don't like the idea of being underwater with no natural sunlight. 

"sit here." he demands, pointing at a love seat with his want. he himself takes a seat on the leather sofa across from me. "so, do you need me to explain the project to you, seeing as how you use your class time to daydream?" he says almost teasingly, but there's bite to it. 

i tilt my chin up and hope that i exude confidence when i say,"i know what the project is." such a simple sentence and yet i make it sound so weak. 

he smirks and raises his eyebrows, as if he's unsure if he truly believes that. "i made an outline for how i want ours to look, go through it." he passes over a piece of parchment with neat handwriting on it. as i read through it, i hear the sound of someone coming from the dorms. i look up after handing the parchment back to malfoy and see blaise. i offer him up a smile, he beams back at me. 

he comes over and combs his fingers through my hair, it's pretty much common knowledge how much i love this. malfoy watches looking indifferent. 

"you two working on the potions assignment together?" blaise looks between us as he asks. he looks genuinely curious and merlin does he resemble mum. it makes me miss her. 

i smile up at him and nod as malfoy gives a stiff,"yup. no wonder she wasn't sorted into ravenclaw, she left all her materials at her dorm." at that, malfoy smirks and i feel my cheeks blush in embarrassment.  
blaises hand tenses in my hair and i hear him inhale. 

"malfoy." he starts," i want you to think carefully before you talk about her." the glare that malfoy recieves holds the fury of a thousand suns. malfoy rolls his eyes, but yet he nods in agreement. 

"fine. whatever. sisters off limits. i get it," he raises his hands up in mock-self defence. 

i can already tell that this project is going to be emotionally draining. 

with a nod of his head,blaise strokes my hair once more before retiring back to his dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they’ve interacted yay


	7. f i v e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit of a filler for whats to come

studying with malfoy was bad. it wasn't terrible, he didn't insult me anymore after blaise left. instead, he resorted to not speaking to me at all; which was fine, it's not like i care. 

okay maybe i care a little. i just don't see where he gets off on being a utter ponce to me! i came here to be civil and work on this project together, maybe even bounce a few ideas off of one another, but every time i even considered speaking i'd shut my mouth and look down at the parchment below. coward. i am such a coward. 

after two hours of working on our project, i decided to call it a night. i clear my throat lightly and stand, giving him a halfhearted wave as i head toward the common room entrance. he doesn't even acknowledge me and that's what hurts. 

i can deal with being poked fun at, being told that i'm 'such a hufflepuff', but i absolutely cannot deal with silence. 

the entrance slides apart, the sound of concrete sliding on concrete fills my ears and makes me cringe ever so slightly. i refuse to look back at malfoy as i step through and begin to make my way towards my dorm. 

i go out of my way to work on a project with him past curfew and risk getting caught just so that i can be ignored for two hours? that's bloody rubbish. 

after several twisted corridors and a few flights of moving stairs, i finally see my common room. home. so much more welcoming than the dungeons, with its musky scent and lack of daylight. i mumble our password, which happens to be 'honeysilk' this year. 

"lumos," i whisper as i enter the pitch black room, the only light other than my wand is coming from the fireplace. it's gorgeous in here. i take in a deep breath and allow myself to relax for a moment. allow myself to let my guard down and feel at peace. 

after a minute of doing so, i head to the right and begin to make my way to my dorm, excited to lay in my warm bed. 

"nox." the light at the end of my wand extinguishes as i fumble with the door to my dorm. i slowly push it open with a sigh. i kick off my shoes and shut the door behind me with a 'click'. 

"dude," i hear jules' sleep rattled voice in the darkness," did you suck his dick or what?" i feel my face flush at the insinuation. i walk towards my bed and grab the first thing i find, my pillow. i turn quickly and hurl it at her with all my might.

"don't you ever say that," i gasp, i'm offended that she'd think that i would stoop that low. "he was a git the whole time, barely said a word to me," i sniff, trying to appear indifferent. 

"maybe he was trying to seduce you," she snorts, showing my pillow back at me and shoving her face back into her pillow. 

"goodnight to you to," i mumble sarcastically, although i don't really mean it. it's not like anything interesting happened while working on the project anyways. 

i hastily change into my pyjamas (a pair of loose shorts and a bra) and head towards the bathroom to brush my teeth. it's there that i'm forced to be face to face with myself in the mirror. 

i'm not bad-looking per-say, i'm actually quiet proud of my "glow-up." in jules words i 'used to be fugly'. which is honestly the truth, but how my long brown hair flows delicately past my shoulders, and my white teeth are all aligned neatly in a row. i quirk a smile to myself as i reach for the toothpaste and begin to brush my teeth. 

after spitting and rinsing, i move onto my hair. my hair has always been difficult, it gets knotted easy and has split ends, but somehow i manage to make it not look atrocious. i brush through the leftover knots and massage my scalp gently. 

i glance over to my left and consider showering, but decide against it, it can be done in the morning. for now, i just want to sleep. 

i hit the light switch on the way out and shut the door, walking sluggishly back to my bed. once there, i tuck myself under my fluffy blanket and reach out instinctively to find my stuffed bear. once in my grasp, i sigh gently, hugging it to my chest. 

my dreams are filled with platinum blonde hair. 

i wake up on my own this time, and with a quick glance to my right i can see that jules is still sleeping, meaning that it must be around six. ugh. 

i get up out of bed, too lazy to make it now i decide to make it before i leave. i make my way to my dresser and open up the top drawer where i find a sweater, and then continue to grab my garments. my robe in the third drawer, my bra and underwear in the fourth drawer.

i make my way once again over to the bathroom and feel déjà vu hit me, i was here just hours ago. i shut the door behind me, and lock it for extra measures. i don't shower with it unlocked ever since jules dumped flour on me in fourth year. 

i sigh as i undress and feel the cold air caress my bare skin, leaving me with goosebumps. i go over to the shower and turn the knob to warm. while waiting, i rub my hands over my arms in attempt to generate some heat. after a few seconds i can see the steam fogging up the glass, and decide that it's warm enough to enter. 

i step into the warm cascade of water and sigh contentedly. i quickly shampoo and condition my hair, leaving time to wash my body with my body wash. i inhale as it suds on my skin, leaving me smelling like vanilla and musk. 

after rinsing myself off, i step out of the shower to dry off. i get dress with little struggle and leave my towels on the rack for the house elves to grab later. 

i step out of the bathroom and im faced with reality. in thirty minutes, i'll have to sit beside draco malfoy.


	8. s i x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of spice today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: slight sexual content

when jules and i walk into potions today, malfoy and theo are already sitting in their seats. theo, ever the gentleman, turns when he hears us approach and gives us a kind smile, giving jules a playful wink. draco on the other hand, he pretends as if we don't exist. he doesn't even acknowledge our existence. 

but it's fine. i just need to survive until the end of this term, and then my life will be draco free. 

it only takes a few moments before i'm once again enamoured with dracos rings. his pale, slender fingers toying with the cold metal. he carefully slides them ever so slightly down his ring finger, then moved onto his middle. 

i'm not sure how long it takes me to notice, but when i finally do look back up, i'm met with malfoy's sneering face. his top lip twitches and he turns away. 

he's unable to focus for long, because soon enough theo is turning around on his chair and asking draco," are you bringing anything to the party tonight?" it's innocent enough, yet i can't help but feel as though there's some hidden meaning, and whatever it is i'm being excluded from it. 

i decide not to pester them, seeing as how i annoyed draco enough last night as it is. draco gives theo a nod of his head, and theo turns around after mumbling a quick," wicked."

when the class ends after what feels like an eternity, i find jules and interrogate her about said party. 

"we're we ever invited to a party?" i say as i catch up to her in the hall, knocking my elbow with hers. 

she fixes the dress of her bag before answering," obviously, you just don't ever listen," she says as if it's obvious. 

"well are we going?" i try to sound nonchalant, but deep down i desperately want to go. 

"duh were going, tonight is a huge part in my plan," she grind maniacally. great. my best friend is bloody mental. " the party's in the room of requirement, so unless someone snitches we won't get caught." she lowers her voice while she speaks, just in case there are any eavesdroppers. 

"oh yes, how could i forget about the nott nut plan," i wiggle my eyebrows, and i'm met with a shove to the shoulder. 

we both laugh as we head toward defence class. 

the rest of the day passes in a blur of wands and pages of parchment. by the end of the day, my wrist is so cramped i'm surprised it doesn't look disfigured. 

we arrive at our dormitory after dinner and begin to get ready for the party. i know that by the end of the night i'll either be too tired or too drunk to take off any makeup, so i decided against wearing any at all. jules on the other hand goes full out, saying," i'm not drinking this time, i want to remember it so i can tell you all the juicy details." she makes a point to emphasize the word juicy, much to my dismay. 

i skin through my wardrobe, not wanting to wear my school robes to a party. i'm about to pick up a plain black sweater when suddenly jules is shoving some black fabric into my hands. 

"no. no way are you showing up wearing a fucking sweater," she laughs lightheartedly. i frown down at the dress. 

"but i'm gonna be too tired to take it off at the end of the night," i whine for extra measure. i know that if i get too drunk that i don't want to be confined to this layer of second skin. 

"fine," she huffs and takes the black dress back into her own hands, stroking it as if it's a cat.

i rustle through my bottom drawer trying to find a pair of pants, i decide on some black joggers for comfort. 

"venus, you look like you're about to take the nap of the century," jules says as she looks at me up and down, her pink lips curling into a smile. i shrug at her and let myself smile back at her. 

she slips on the dress she had previously handed me, and it fits her perfectly. it hugs her body in all the right places and accentuates all of her curves. 

"if theo doesn't sleep with you; he's mad," i ogle at her, letting out a wolf whistle as she twirls for me. 

we wait until nine before leaving our dorm, both choosing to slip on comfy shoes before heading out. upon entering the common room we immediately see cedric laying on the couch with a book in his hand. he looks up at us when jules grabs a quill off of the table to our right and hurls it at him, missing him by a long shot but still grabbing his attention. 

"ah it's the beauty and the beast," ced says as we walk towards him. 

"aw, thanks ced," gushes jules, who fans her face jokingly. 

"no no, you're the beast," cedric laughs as he tells her, waiting for her explosive response. she resorts to smacking him upside the head. i cover my mouth with my hand as i laugh until my side hurts. 

we leave the common room as a group. we head directly to the room of requirement, when we're directly outside waiting for it to open, cedric reaches into his book bag and reveals a bottle of dragon barrel brandy. 

"cedric i think i'm in love with you," jules deadpans as i nod along. count on cedric to be the only one of us prepared for a party. 

just as cedric begins to put the brandy away, the room of requirement opens for us and we slip in. inside the room it's dark and slightly musky, there are dim lights scattered along the room. tables and chairs line the sides of the room, some of the chairs have students of all different houses scattered along them. the tables are piled high with crisps and plastic shot glasses. 

in the far right hand corner of the room i spot luna and grin. i never seem to spend enough time with her at hogwarts. 

cedric, jules and i head towards the table closets to one to open the bottle of brandy. we each pour ourselves two shots and count down 

"3,2,1"

the glasses hit the table one after the other, with ced finishing both of his last with a look of disgust. he whiles the corner of his mouth and scrunches his nose. "bleugh."

jules rolls her eyes and pats him on his back," you'll be fine you big baby." she reaches out and grabs my wrist, then cedrics. before i even know it i'm being dragged to the circle of students in the corner. 

we find an open spot and sit down, i cross my legs while jules sits on her knees and cedric sits with his legs out. to my right is luna, who whispers to me as soon as i'm close enough to hear. "draco has more nargles than usual today."

i nod absentmindedly and brush a strand of her white hair behind her ears. she gives me a soft smile before passing me another shot. "firewhiskey," she says as she picks up a glass of her own and downs it before i can even blink. i lift the drink to my mouth and cringe as it burns the back of my throat. i blink harshly and shake my head to try to get rid of the sensation. 

"... i dare you to to take off your shirt for the rest of the game," my eyes bulge out of my head as i hear blaise speak. i whip my heat around the room and try to figure out who he's talking to. it takes a few seconds before my eyes find malfoy...malfoy who's taking off his shirt. 

malfoy is shirtless. oh merlin this is gonna be a long night. 

malfoy playfully winks at blaise and i see pansy swooning to his right. 

"potter," draco starts," i dare you to bed the weaslette by the end of the night," his grin stretches from ear to ear, yet his eyes don't look amused. 

"you didn't even give me an option of truth mal-" harry is abruptly cut off by shouting. 

"no bloody way youre including my sister in this!" yells ron from harry's left. 

"fine then, weasley i dare you to bed granger by the end of the night," sniffs draco. 

"she's my bloody girlfriend, of course i'm sleeping with her tonight." hermiones cheeks flush a brilliant shade of red at his statement and she smacks him in the chest. he grins loopily at her. 

"ginny, truth or dare?" ron asks quickly, his eyes shooting from left to right as if he's paranoid. 

"dare," she says smoothly. i always wish that i had her confidence. 

"i dare you to only say truth for the rest of the night," exclaims ron as he turns a pale shade of green. ginny sighs at her brother, but who is she to turn down a dare. 

"luna, truth or dare?" ginny leans forwards as she asks. 

"dare please," says luna to my left, her pale face glowing in the dim light. 

"i dare you to make out with jules," ginny laughs. 

i slap my hand over my mouth to keep in my laughter. while luna and jules aren't the straightest people i know, never in a million years would they kiss each other. i see luna flush ever so slightly at the same time that i see jules shrug her shoulders. 

before i can realize what's happening, jules is leaning over in front of my to pull luna into a crushing kiss. no, not a kiss. a full on make out session. there's tongue and it's passionate and the room is completely silent. 

they finally pull away and i hear almost everyone in the room let out 'whoops' and wolf whistles at my two friends. 

luna clears her throat before turning to me. shit. that's not gonna be good. 

"venus, truth or dare," she asks airily. i should say truth. a ravenclaw would saw truth. but instead my mouth betrays me and what comes out is-

"dare."

i clench my eyes shut in anticipation. 

"i dare you to go sit on dracos lap," she smiles, saying it as if she's talking about any old topic. my brain malfunctions for a second. no way. absolutely not happening. 

but i can't back out of a dare, that's such a hufflepuff thing to do. i can feel everyone's eyes on me as i reach over luna to grab another firewhiskey shot before standing up. 

i walk across the circle over to where malfoy is starting at me with raise eyebrows, almost as though he's challenging me. 

i turn around and lower myself onto his lap, as i do so i feel all my shots from earlier hit me at once. i take a breath in and stabilize myself on his lap. this is gonna be a long night. i let my back rest against his bare chest and sigh, licking my lips nervously. 

i shift around ever so slightly in an attempt to get comfortable, instead i'm met with his cold hands on my waist. i can feel each individual ring through my sweater, it's as if i'm hyperaware of him and only him. 

i'm suddenly aware that it's my turn to ask someone, and without thinking i look to jules. "truth or dare?" i ask her, my words fumbling together ever so slightly. 

she giggles at me. "dare V." shes says it like a challenge, and it is. 

"i dare you to give theo a lap dance." as soon as the words leave my mouth all of the colour drains from her face. "unless you wanna chicken out?" i cock my head at her. 

with determination she stands up and makes her way to theo, pulling out a chair from behind him and shoving him onto it by his shoulders. 

suddenly, i'm aware of how uncomfortable i am. my posture feels all weird and my neck is cramping. i shift my hips in an attempt to eliminate the pain. after a few seconds i freeze. dracos grip on my hip had hardened, so aggressive that it could leave bruises, but that's not why i stopped. with the small swivel of my hips i try to test my theory. 

oh sweet merlin. 

i can feel malfoy's hardening cock through his pants. 

my breathing shallows and my face flushes. the game continues on around me, but i remain completely oblivious. he hasn't stopped me, why hasn't he stopped me?

i swivel my hips again, added the slightest bit of pressure as i do. i hear him suck air through his teeth while i do so.

"don't tease," he spits out. his breath is hot against my neck and it makes me completely pliant. i'm like putty, he could do anything right now and id let him. 

so in order to please him i continue to rotate my hips, occasionally i can feel him lightly buck up against me. i'm completely lost in my own world when seamus and dean run through the entrance.

"everyone out!" yells seamus," someone told snape!" my breathing stops. snape can not come in here right now. i scramble to stand up and find jules and luna, i grab their hands and we run as quick as we can back to where we came in. 

we decide to take the right corridor instead of the left, which seems to be the right idea as we don't run into snape. we drop luna off at ravenclaw tower and stumble our way back to the hufflepuff common room. the second my face hits my pillow, i'm out like a light.


	9. s e v e n

the first thing i'm aware of when i wake up is my raging headache. my head is pounding as i groan softly into my pillow. thank merlin today is saturday. 

after quickly brushing through and hair and brushing my teeth, i slip on some fuzzy slippers and pad down the stairs towards the common room. there i find hannah abott looking nervous as ever. 

“hannah,” i pause,” you alright?” i try to speak as gentle as luna would, but i’m not as good at that as she is. 

hannah purses her lips and nods her head. as quick as lightning she reaches out her arm, exposing an envelope in her hand. 

“draco wanted me to give this to you,” her words are going a mile a minute and i scrunch up my face trying to think about what draco would want from me. for what it’s worth, i appreciate her quiet words as my headache is still raging on. 

i extend my hand to her and gently grab the letter. “thank you hannah,” i smile in an attempt to calm her obvious nerves. 

“he uh,” her eyes refuse to meet mine,” he wasnt in a very good mood,” she mumbles, her leg absentmindedly kicking around the dust on the ground. “but i’m sure it’s nothing,” she adds in quickly before turning around and scurrying away before i can say another word. 

i open up the letter carefully so as not to rip it. 

it reads

'zabini,

meet me outside of the slytherin common room tonight at 8pm. bring your materials for the project. don't forget. 

Draco. '

i let out a breath i didn’t even realize i was holding in. the project; how on earth could i forget about the project. filled with a newfound calmness, i smile and turn in my heel to head back towards my dorm to sleep away the rest of my hangover. 

when i awake for the second time today the sun is at its peak, meaning that it’s around noon. i have eight hours two waste before i have to waste before having to go work on the project again. as a precaution i decide to get my study materials ready beforehand. i set my potions textbook down on my trunk, along with parchment and extra quills. 

nervously, i pace around the edge of my bed thinking. why did he give the letter to hannah? why didn’t he wait to tell me at the great hall like last time? it seems that every time i think i’ve figured malfoy out, something snaps and i’m right back at step one. 

i decide to take a bath in attempt to clear my thoughts. i run the water hot, adding some bubble bath to the mix as i watch it suds up. the welcoming aroma of vanilla and cherry fills my nose; it’s heavenly. 

-

after wasting an hour pacing my room, and an hour in the bath i still have six to spare. i’m determined to get O’s on my exams this year so i decide to study for potions first. 

studying goes by agonizingly slow, each chapter blurs into the next and by the time i’m done i’m not sure if i absorbed anything. my peaceful environment is interrupted by jules bursting in, i hadn’t seen her since i woke up, she left while i was downstairs talking to hannah. 

“wanna go to the hall? i’m starved?” she flops her body down on my bed, crumpling all of my pieces of parchment. 

“hey, shove off,” i giggle slightly as i push her off my bed. “and yeah, i’ll come eat.”

she whoops as she gets up off the floor and waits for me at the door. carefully, i roll up my parchment and secure it in my trunk. i never leave out my notes because jules makes fun of the way that i remember things. 

when we arrive at the great hall there’s barely a student there. looking around the table i see ced over on the end hanging out with justin and hannah. we decide not to bother them as we take our own seats and dissolve into our own conversation. 

i can feel it when malfoy walks into the great hall, it’s almost as if the energy shifts. i refuse to turn around, knowing that i’ll come face to face with his piercing silver eyes. 

i keep my eyes strictly focused on jules, who just so happens to be turning red at the sight of theo, not that that’s any different from normal. 

“god i wanna jump his bones,” she says over a mouthful of chicken. just for her manners i slap her upside the head and scold her. 

“don’t be a ponce,” i smile lightheartedly as i say it; i could never truly be mad at her. 

we make a point to finish our dinners slowly, neither of us having anything to do other than work on our assignments. 

“draco asked me to study with him at the dungeons again,” the urge to whip my head around and look at him is so strong, it takes every bone in my body to look at jules instead. in response, jules wiggles her brows but says nothing. 

when were both satisfied with our dinner, we get up and head towards the entrance, i make a point to ruffle cedrics hair on the way out. he sends me a cheeky wink when he realizes it was me. 

i only have ten minutes before i have to head to the dungeons, i decide to wear an outfit similar to the one i had on last night. i wear another lack hoodie, but for pants this time i choose a pair of pink fleece pyjama pants. jules hurts out laughing at the sight of me. 

“oh merlin.” she wipes a tear from her pale cheek.” now that,” she points at me,” is an outfit they should show in wizarding weekly!” she screeches, holding her sides as if they hurt from laughing 

“hah hah,” i say sarcastically as i flip her off with two hands. “it’s not like i need to show off while studying,” i mumble. before i can forget, i make a point to grab all of the supplies i’d need for this project. 

after jules finally calms down she smiles sweetly at me and motions for me to shoo. i crack a grin and reach for the door, saluting her on my way out. 

i don’t dawdle on my way to the slytherin common room this time, i don’t want to keep him waiting again. 

after rounding the final corner, draco comes into view. i give him a small, friendly smile. he doesn’t return it. his face looks colder than i’ve ever seen it, his signature sneer etched on his face as if frozen in time. 

“i brought my supplies this time,” i try to joke to diffuse the tension, but draco just huffs and raises his eyebrows. before i can overthink that, he turns and hastily makes his way to the entrance of the common room. once again he makes a point to whisper the password so that i have no chance at knowing it. 

we both enter and make our ways to the same spot as last time. i cross my legs and place my books on the table in front of me. looking around i notice that the common room is almost deserted. i turn to draco with confusion clear on my face. 

“there’s a slytherin only party tonight,” he deadpans as if this was common knowledge. my mind is racing immediately. why did he choose to study if he could’ve gone to a party instead? why would he go to a party with all of the house, and not one just for slytherin? it just doesn’t add up. 

“although i’m not sure how much fun it will be, seeing as how they don’t have hogwarts’ very own slut.” his voice is as cold as ice as he spits out his venomous words. i think that i feel my heart stop. i squint over at him confused. 

“i’m sorry, who’s the hogwarts slut?” i ask. i’d assume that he was talking about pansy or romulus, but pansy’s at the party and romilda is on holiday in romania. 

his eyes are so squinted they look like slits of black staring back at me. “don’t act clueless, zabini. it’s not a good look,” his sneer is evident in his tone. 

“malfoy, if you’re insinuating that it’s me then you are sorely mistaken.” i try to sneer back, but instead i sound like i’m on the verge of tears. 

malfoy scoffs at me. “ oh please, don’t try to act innocent, we all know know that all it takes is a few shots for you to throw yourself at people,” he leans forward, i lean back and try to make myself as small as possible. “who knew you would be so easy.”

he doesn’t even say it as a question. he says it as a statement, as if it’s a well known fact that i’m ‘easy’. i cross my arms and try to look as threatening as possible, but i can feel the tears starting to sting at the confrontation. 

“salazar i should have know that diggory didn’t hang out with you because you two were ‘friends’!” he exclaims, waving his hands in the air as if he’s had an epiphany. “no,” he pauses,” he just uses you as a whore.” he leans back, finally finished with his attack. that’s when i finally let the tears fall. 

i try my best to hide them, to distract myself. i hide my fact behind my parchment as i make half-assed notes on amortentia. the tears are hot and stream down my face quickly. i make the mistake of sniffling ever so slightly when i think malfoy isn’t paying attention. 

“zabini, are you crying?” i can’t tell if he’s genuinely asking or if he’s mocking me. 

“shove off, malfoy” i bite back, wiping at my tears with my sweater. i refuse to look at him, but i can hear him shift uncomfortably in his seat. “you can’t just say that shit to people,” i mutter, finally mustering up the courage to put the parchment down and face him. his eyes widen as he sees the state of my face. i know it must be blotchy and covered in tear tracks, but truly i could care less what draco malfoy thinks about me. 

“zabini,” he pauses,” i’m sorry, okay i didn’t mean to make you cry,” he does sound genuinely sorry this time which is surprising. 

i laugh humourlessly. “oh yeah, let’s just call venus the slut of the school,” i sniff,” let’s tell her she’s easy,” my voice begins to raise,” merlin malfoy at least have the decency to own it. you’ve already said it, why not go for more?”

he looks uncomfortable now. good. my breathings picked up and the rage bubbles inside of me. 

“go on then! what do you wanna say to me next? wanna harass me for kissing someone once? for behaving like a normal teenager?” i’m yelling at this point, angry tears rush down my face. malfoy continues to stare at me, his mouth slightly agape. “oh no, you want to go into the juicy bits don’t you? you’re just waiting for a chance to bring up my parents, to tell me how undeserving i am of the zabinis, is that right?” my hands are clenched in fists by my side. 

“i’m sorry,” he looks me in the eyes as he says it and i deflate at that. the entire exchange hits me in a wave and i just break down. i cry because apparently i’m seen as a slut. i cry for my parents. i cry for myself. 

malfoy looks uncomfortable as he stands up and makes his way beside me. he doesn’t sit beside my, instead he rests his weight on the edge of the love seat and places his hands in my hair. my shoulders these up and everything stops for me. 

“i really am sorry.” he mumbles as he begins to stroke his slender fingers through my brown hair. i feel myself begin to calm as he caresses my hair ever so gently. 

soon, my sniffling comes to a stop. i’m too nervous to look up at malfoy, his fingers still entangled in my hair. lucky for me, he’s the one who breaks the silence. 

“let me walk you back to your dorm,” i can barely hear him, his voice is just above a whisper. i shake my head no before speaking. 

“i can walk myself,” and with that, i push myself off the love seat and make my way to the entrance. 

“i know you can,” draco says as soft as ive ever heard him speak,” but i want to make sure you get there safely.” i finally look over at him. i’ve never seen him look this genuine in my life. i glide my tongue over my chapped lips and nod gently. 

malfoy strides over to me and motions for me to exit first. his hands are stuffed in his pockets as we walk in silence. 

he stops abruptly before we reach my common room. “i don’t think that you’re a whore,” he says with confidence, like he actually believes it. 

i scoff, thinking back on what started this all. “why would you say that to me? are you just that much of a git?” i ask him, refusing to meet his eye. 

“i was angry.” is all he says. 

“angry at what?” i prod for more information, he doesn’t give any, instead he just shakes his head lightly. 

“it doesn’t matter now.” and with that, he drops it. 

the common room is a short walk away from where we stopped. right when we get to the entrance i’m struck with an idea. 

“you really think i’m sleeping with cedric?” i ask, starting up at him with doe eyes. 

“no i don’t, i was mad before.” he says with a sigh. 

“well, i don’t think that we know each other very well,” his eyebrows scrunch slightly in confusion,” and i don’t think that we can make this project work if we fight like this every time we work on it.” draco nods his head in agreement. “i think we should go to hogsmeade together next weekend. to get to know each other better.” at that, dracos eyebrow quirks up. 

“you want to go on a date?” he drawls. 

“no not a date you git” i sigh, rolling my eyes. “i don’t want us to fight during the assignment, and i think that if we know each other better, we can work better.” he seems to consider for a second before scoffing. 

“you’re such a hufflepuff.” he pauses,” but fine, next weekend we’ll go to hogsmeade. only if you don’t tell blaise about tonight,” he wagers. i nod my head in agreement and stick out my hand. he rolls his eyes, yet sticks his cold hand into mine and shakes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh they fighting


	10. e i g h t

sunday passes by in a blur. i haven’t seen draco since saturday and i’m honestly dreading it. what if he just said yes so that he could blackmail me somehow? what if he starts telling people that i’m easy? i shake my head to clear my thoughts. a second later jules dirty blonde hair comes into sight. i smile as she shrugs on her robes and grabs her wand. 

“i don’t think i’ll ever get used to being up this early,” her voice is laced with sleep. “do you think snape would take away points if i napped in potions?” i hope she’s joking, snape would jump at any given opportunity to take points away from hufflepuff. 

i give her a light smile as we turn to leave our dorm. the walk to potions is slow and quiet, neither of us having the energy to talk. i feel jules perk up to my right as we enter in the class, but just as fast as she perked up she quickly deflates. my eyes follow hers and i see the reason why. 

both malfoy’s and theo’s chairs are empty. 

i try not to let myself overthink, maybe the just slept in? i think hopefully. 

we both take our respective seats and wait for snapes lecture to begin. jules puts her head down at the exact moment the two walk into the classroom. malfoy walks with more grace than theo, but theo walks with more confidence and pep. i nervously avert my eyes, looking anywhere but at him. 

i watch as theo gently tugs on jules’ hair as he makes his way to his seat, she glares up at him. its so easy to see how smitten she is for him and his goofy ways. 

i can feel malfoy’s presence from behind me as he slides into his spot, his hand just barely grazing my shoulder as he does so. he was so close i can still smell his cologne. teakwood, green apple and a hint of spearmint. 

snapes monotone voice fills the class and i catch myself zoning out again. i’m staring off into the distance when i feel something thin and sharp poke my hand. it’s parchment. malfoy is passing me notes.  
i think my brain is malfunctioning. 

‘ what’s so interesting on that wall?”

his neat writing takes up only a smidge of space, so i write my response underneath. 

‘anything’s more interesting than snape’

compared to him my writing looks atrocious. he hear him let out a small huff, i think it could almost be a laugh. 

‘how do you expect to pass potions if you don’t pay attention?’

he quirks his eyebrow at me as if he’s challenging me. 

‘i’ll cheat off of you of course’

with this draco let’s out what i’m positive is a laugh, no matter how quiet it was. his nimble fingers reach out to take the parchment back, he gently tucks it into his potions book. 

in defence we work on our deflecting spells, for which i’m partnered up with cedric. however, the entire time i can’t help but wonder what those around us think when they see us working together. does the whole school think i’m sleeping with him? 

my classes pass quickly with nothing very interesting occurring. 

it seems as though every day this week is repeating itself, and i become more and more anxious the closer we get to the weekend. 

when saturday finally comes i’m almost hyperventilating at the idea of hogsmead. 

“i think i should just tell him that i feel sick,” i’m curled up on my bed in fetal position facing jules. she rolls her blue eyes at me and sticks out her tongue. 

“don’t be such a pansy,” she jokes, raising her brows at me jokingly. i scoff at her, i’m not a pansy. plus, it’s not like i’d actually stand malfoy up, that’s rude. 

i’m alerted by a knocking at the door, i open it up to see hannah abbott’s small frame smiling gently at me. 

“you have a guest waiting for you outside the common room, i saw him on my way in,” her tone hints towards something more, but i shrug it off, hannah’s just quirky sometimes. 

nervously, i tiptoe my way down the stairs taking as much time as possible. upon reaching the entrance, i inhale and close my eyes as i exhale in attempt to rid myself of my nerves. i put on a smile as i swing open the door. i don’t immediately see draco, i turn my head slightly to my left and i see him out of the corner of my eye, leaning his back against the wall. he’s got a crisp green apple in his hand that’s almost completely devoured. 

“took you long enough,” he says but there’s no real bite to his words. i feel my lips quirk up in a smile, one that he returns. he motions with his thumb the way that he wants to take to the entrance hall. we make our way there in relative silence, saved only shortly by the occasional,

“it’s quite chilled today,” by draco, followed up by me with a,

“that’s why i wore a sweater,” he looks at me out of the corner of my eye, seemingly taking me all in. today i’m wearing a light yellow sweater with black jeans. the sweaters material is soft to the touch and delicate to the eye. 

after what i believe is thirty minutes of walking, we finally make it to hogsmeade. i always am filled with nostalgia as i enter, having flashbacks to third year where jules, luna and i would get into all types of mischief. 

“where’d you like to start first?”he asks, his voice sounding more gentle than i’ve ever heard it. i strain my neck to look up at him and his piercing silver eyes stare directly back at me. for a moment, i’m awestruck. at this moment i realize that draco is beautiful. no, not in a girly way. but in a way that just makes sense, as if he was carved out of stone. his cheeks are pointy and flushed from the cool breeze, his nose turns up into the perfect point. i inhale sharply when i realize i’m staring. 

“honeydukes?” i say quickly. he nods gently and we walk shoulder to shoulder to honeydukes. 

it’s there that i discover that draco loves chocolate, but he loves his mother more. he grabs box after box of decadent chocolate, each one costing more than a few galleons. i gape at him and his pale cheeks flushes ever so slightly. 

“they’re for my mum,” he explains almost sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck with his free hand. i’m not sure why, but i feel butteflies when he says that. it’s too sweet to handle. i turn my back to him as i let a soft smile cover my face. i reach my hand up to grab some chocolate frogs on the top shelf for jules and i, but they’re just barely out of my grasp. i try standing on the tips of my toes, but it works to no avail. unexpectedly, i see a hand dawned in rings hover over mine, grabbing down a box of chocolate frogs. 

“how many do you want?” i can feel his heat radiating from behind me. i can barely even think of a response. 

“just one,” i’m able to squeak out. he backs up after he grabs it, allowing for me to turn around and take it from his hands. “thanks,” i say genuinely. he smiles and heads over to the counter, taking out his galleons. 

“and that box of chocolate frogs,” he tells the witch at the register. i scrunch my face up in confusion, why is he paying for my chocolate frogs? he turns to me, as if reading my mind. “it’s a part of my apology,” he pauses,” for the other night.” his face is solemn as he does so. 

“it’s alright,” i take a few steps towards him as he collects his change from his purchase. he looks over his shoulder at me, his face stoic. 

“it wasn’t, zabini,” he shakes his head slightly. at that, he drops. it “three broomsticks next?” he asks, shoving his pile of chocolate into his book bag. i nod my head in agreement and my make our way to the three broomsticks. the atmosphere outside has shifted, the sun has lowered slightly, giving hogsmeade a gold appearance. the air itself has a bite to a it now, ever so slightly colder than when we first arrived. draco looks good here, the gold lighting leaving small shadows scattered across his face, with the only bit of colour being his rose dusted cheeks. 

as soon as he opens the door to the three broomsticks, i’m encompassed by warmth. i sigh gently as draco leads me to whichever table he’s picked out. the pub is bustling with people, with hundreds of tiny conversations taking place all over the room. 

“do you want a butterbeer?” he asks me without taking a look at the menu. i nod my head yes. when i look up at him, his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, as if he’s toying with an idea. “there’s another slytherin only party tonight.” he blurts out, his composure dropping ever so slightly. “i want for you to come.”

i’m taken aback at this. earlier in the week he called me horrible names, and now he wants to invite me to a secret party? he doesn’t make sense, but nonetheless i agree. a soft smile plays at malfoy’s lips and he gently nods his head. 

“good.”


	11. n i n e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: slight sexual content

A/N  
i love soft draco  
warning: slight sexual content   
—

after retiring to my common room i immediate inform jules of the party. the sparkle in her eye when i tell her that it's 'slytherin only' is unmatched. she squeals excitedly and turns hastily to find the proper outfit. i decide to change as well, the castle is a bit warm for a sweater tonight. instead, i wear my slightly cropped black long sleeve shirt, and decide to keep on my black jeans to go with it. 

when i turn around to check on jules' progress, i'm stunned. it's not that she doesn't look gorgeous everyday, because she does! but there's just a glow to her right now, the light blue dress she chose compliments her skin tone amazingly. she has on a light blue dress that hugs her skin nicely, it's quite short and revealing, but she covers up slightly with a white turtleneck underneath. stunning. 

she blushed under my intense gaze and shifts uncomfortably. 

"you look like you're about to jump my bones," she says sheepishly. i laugh at that because i know it's true, and while i do believe she is absolutely gorgeous, she is my best friend and never more. i've always looked at her as if she were a sister. 

she turns over the side of her bed and i hear her rummaging through her trunk. finally, she pops her head up and sticks out her hand, holding up a bottle of brandy. 

"pre-game time, V." i giggle and walk over to her. she accios two shot glasses from her shirts drawer and placed them on her nightstand before pouring each of us a generous shot. before heading to the slytherin common room we both down two more. 

it's dark by the time we leave, easily an hour or two part curfew already. luckily for us there are no classes tomorrow as it's sunday. 

we giggle lightly, walking down the dark corridor, the only source of light coming from my wand. we're rounding a sharp corner when we here his drawl. snape. my heart catches in my throat, why does it always have to be snape? 

jules is quick on her feet as she grabs my wrist and drags me around the corner, i can hear as snapes voice grows louder. i look at her out of the corner of my eye. 

"trust me," her voice is barely above a whisper as she continues to stare straight ahead, determined that whatever her plan is; it's a good one. i see snapes shadow around the corner to our left, he's blocking the corridor we need to take to get to the dungeons. 

"ms. zabini and ms. pickette," his monotone voice drawls. he stands a few feet away from us, but we still have to look up to see his towering figure. "what are you doing out of bed at this hour?" he tilts his head inquisitively. 

"venus is very ill," jules voice is pleading, she makes an attempt to give him her best puppy dog eyes. "i'm taking her to madame pomfrey, i really don't think it's good. she got hit with a spell today during defence, but she can't remember for the life of her which one it was." damn she's a good liar. 

i nod my head lightly, avoiding eye contact with snape. i suppose our lie is believable enough because snape nods his head and steps out of our way. we continue to stay quiet until we know for sure that we're out of range. 

"thank merlin you're quick on your feet," i sigh out, my heart is still palpitating after our encounter. we round three more corners before we're finally able to see the dungeons. i smile as i see malfoy talking with his friends, looking the most care-free that i've ever seen him. i look down as we walk towards them, fiddling with my hands slightly. 

"alright now that the life of the party is here we can finally head in," theo says, going in for a fist bump with jules. what a dork. 

blaise has already turned around and was whispering the password by the time i look up and meet malfoy's gaze. one of the corners of his mouth is quirked up into a half smirk. he turns around so that we can all head towards the entrance, but first, he swings his left arm over my shoulders, pulling me in towards him gently. suddenly, i'm not all over. gosh it's like i'm thirteen again seeing pictures of tom riddle. 

the five of us enter the common room which is vibrating with music. jules and i are slightly stumbling as we do so. waiting to our left as we enter is luna, who seems to be slightly drunk already. 

"i'm so happy draco invited you two," she leans softly into blaises shoulder and closes her eyes. i make a mental note to quiz both of them on this later, but for now i focus on myself. 

there's a few open seats, all of which are where malfoy and i normally sit when we work on our project, and as if reading my mind, jules shoved me out of her way (pulling theo by the wrist) and they make their way to the sofa. that leaves the love seat for both draco and i. 

draco awkwardly clears his throat as he realizes, shifting foot to foot.

"you take the chair, i can stand," i keep my eyes cast down as he speaks.

"i'll just sit on your knee, don't be daft," i laugh, feeling suddenly confident. ah, the shots from earlier must've kicked in. malfoy's sterling silver eyes look comically huge as he comprehends my words finally. without fighting, he gracefully takes his seat, keeping his hands away from his lap. 

the second were all whisked away into our own conversations, theo offers to go grab drinks for the lot. he comes back quickly with a handful of cups and a bottle of brandy. i smirk trying to figure out who he bribed to get that. he delicately aligns all of the classes along the table, pouring in the fire-like drink. i lean forward on malfoy's lap and grab two glasses, careful not to spill any as i pass his back to him. luna counts us down as we drink, theo (like always) finishes his drink last, his mousey hair flopping around as he shakes his head. 

i take malfoy's glass from him and set both of ours back on the table for later. this shot hits me faster than the rest, it's as if my world suddenly tilts on its axis. i lean my back against dracos hard chest for some stability. as if feeling my unease, he places his left hand on my hip right hip, hugging me closer to his chest. the shirt i'm wearing allows for me to feel his cold, slender fingers against my too-hot skin. gently, he glided his thumb back in forth in a comforting gesture. as if feeling suddenly at peace, draco leans forward ever so slightly and places his chin on my shoulder. 

i feel my whole body flush. if i were to look out of the corner of my eye, our faces would be directly beside each other. 

"i think i'm gonna have one more," i blurt out, my words slurring together slightly. draco lifts his head off my shoulder and allows for me to grab my glass. i lift it as a gesture to theo to pour me another. only jules and theo join me for this one, blaise and luna are too caught up in their own conversations to notice that were even taking another shot. 

my vision becomes slightly fuzzy around the edges, and i can't help but laugh at that. i can hear dracos deep chuckle in my ear. 

"don't laugh at me," i reach my hand back to cup his face without looking at him. instantly, i feel all of his muscles tense. carefully, i take my hand back in attempt to put him at ease. i hear him exhale behind me, and his arm slithers back to its rightful place on my hip. 

it only takes a matter of seconds before i'm uncomfortable, my bladder if full of alcohol and salazar do i have to piss. 

fuck. it hits me. this isn't my common room, i can't just waltz up and use my own washroom. 

"draco," i turn my head so that i can whisper in his ear. "draco," i drag the vowels in his name out. 

"what?" he flicks my ear with his free hand. 

"i have to pee," i mumble, not wanting the whole common room to hear. he chucked and unravels his arm from me, instead he places it on my shoulder, guiding me to stand up. i almost stumble into pansy as we walk to dracos dorm, but his guiding hand in my shoulder keeps me grounded. 

as we pass by a lone table, i reach out and grab another shot; go big or go home right? 

“don’t go too hard,” draco says as if he read my mind. the small circles his thumb is making in my shoulder lulls me into a state of security. the rest of the walk to his dorm is quiet, except for my occasional giggle. 

draco opens his door and gently pushes me inside before turning and close the door. 

“it’s just over there,” he points his arm to the right and i can’t help but laugh. 

“i have a dorm too, silly,” he acts as though i’ve never used a bathroom in hogwarts! he sighs and shakes his head gently. suddenly, it hits me hot full my bladder is and i stumble into the bathroom. after going upon my business and washing my hands, i open the bathroom door to see draco sitting on what i presume to be his bed. 

i grin at him and make my way beside him, i lean my shoulder into him, turning my body ever so slightly so that i can bury med head in his neck. merlin he smells good. the smell of his cologne overwhelms me and i think that i malfunction, because before i know it i’m placing soft kisses to malfoy’s neck. i pause for a second, waiting for any type of reaction, but malfoy gives me no reason to stop. slowly, i trail my kisses up his jaw. before i’m able to reach his pink lips, i swing my left leg over his lap so that i’m straddling him. 

i go in for it this time, a real kiss. i hope and i pray that whatever i’m doing is right, as malfoy isn’t giving me much to work off of. i reach my right hand up gently to cup his jaw as i attempt to deepen the kiss. malfoy reacts this time, he places both his hands on my waist and stands. i pull away with wide eyes, when suddenly i’m pushed onto my back and malfoy is crawling over my dainty frame. 

my breathing picks up as he stares at me, taking it all in. without warning, he dives back in. i wrap my legs around his waist, wanting to be as close to him as possible. he rests his left hand on my neck as his right arm holds him up. his tongue delves into my mouth hotly, it glides against mine and i can’t help but moan. instinctively, he bucks his hips against mine, i let out yet another whine. 

“draco, please,” my words slur together against his kiss-swollen lips. at that, he pulls away. 

“you’re drunk,” he says, his face completely void of any emotion. 

“that doesn’t mean that i don’t want it,” i smile up at him in an attempt to persuade him. “and from what i can tell, you want it too.” to prove my point i grind my hips upwards against his hardening erection. he sucks in a sharp breath before placing the hand that once encircled my neck onto my cheek, stroking it gently. 

“you’re drunk, and i’m not,” i’m enamoured by his soft words,” i’m not going to take advantage of you.” he sits up on his knees completely as i unhook my lefts from behind his waist. 

“you can just say that you don’t want me, malfoy,” i grumble, hurt by malfoy’s change in mood. his face softens and he flips gently on the bed. i turn towards him with my knees slightly bent. 

“i never said that i don’t want you.” he pushes a strand of my brown hair behind my ear. “stay with me tonight.” he says it as if it’s a statement, not a question and that makes my stomach do flips. i swipe my tongue out to wipe my bottom lip and nod, suddenly feeling shy. 

i’m daydreaming about nothing in particular when i feel his large hands on my waist, flipping me over so that my backs to his chest. gently, he slips his right arm over my waist, pulling me flush to his body. 

“are you going to sleep in those?” i ask him, referring to his black formal attire that he always seems to be wearing. 

“i normally don’t, but i want you to be comfortable.” i blush. i never knew that malfoy would be a gentleman. 

as i begin to drift to sleep, i feel his hand leave my waist and entangle itself in my hair, the feeling of him massaging my scalp lulls me to sleep.


	12. t e n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit of a filler :)

the first thing i realize in the morning is the weight around my waist and smell of apples invading my nose. the memories of last night come flashing back to me and i cringe internally. merlin i can't believe the way that i acted last night. more importantly, i can't believe that malfo-, draco, i correct myself, was such a gentleman. 

"morning," his deep, raspy voice gives me goosebumps. i hum back in response. 

"good morning," i hear Theo's chipper voice ring from across the room. draco's body shoots up from behind me, his arm grabs the pillow that was cushioning his head and he hurls it at theo. 

"theo," he sighs. "get the fuck out," his words are harsh but his voice is soft. theo let's out a girl-ish scream and laughs as he gets up to leave. on his way out he flips both of us off for extra-measures.

"we uh," i turn around so that draco and i are face to face. "we should work on the project today." draco's hand trails itself up and down the side of my waist rhythmically, i let my eyes flutter shut at the feeling. i feel draco lean in closer to me, his hair tickles my face as he places small, fleeting kisses on my neck. merlin i want him so bad, but i know that i cant jump into... whatever this is with him. not without knowing that he wont end up hurting me. "draco," i sniff, pulling my head back so that i can look into his pale eyes. "i'm not a slut," i start off, my tone as neutral as can be. "I dont want to have sex with you, we've only just started talking without wanting to rip the others head off."

"are you done?" merlin hes beautiful. his hair flops gently over his eyes as he gazes at me, his plump bottom lip caught between his teeth. before continuing on, he grabs my small hand in his, fiddling with my fingers. i feel the cool glide of his rings against my warm hand, and soon enough my stomach fills with unwanted butterflies. "not everything i do has an ulterior motive." his smile shows that theres no hard feelings, but i still feel bad for even insinuating that. "maybe," he starts," i give you affection because i trust you. " the butterflies in my stomach are having a fucking rave at this point, and i can just tell that my cheeks are flaming red.

it seems as though all i can utter is a measly, "oh." he chuckles lowly at me and repeats it back to me with a goofy grin on his face.

"but i suppose youre right, we should work on the project today," his posh voice drawls on.

time seems to fly by us as we work. occasionally i get distracted by draco, he's just so mesmerizing. before i even realize it, its time for dinner in the great hall, and draco and i have completed a sufficient amount of work.

as we head down to the great hall, i feel draco's presence drifting further from me, but say nothing because I'm probably just overreacting. its not like were dating, right? we both head our separate ways as we enter in silence, draco goes the right as i go to the left. as soon as my eyes settle on the huffelpuff table i see both cedric and jules deep in conversation. once i finally reach them, i slide my leg in the middle of them to force them apart and squeeze myself in between them. with a huff, i plop onto the bench and rest my head on the table.

"what, didnt sleep well last night?" cedric giggles as he ruffles my hair while also gently moving loose strands away from the mashed potatoes.

"she couldnt sleep!" jules exclaims, throwing her right arm over my shoulder. i let out a sigh and sulk more than humanely possible. "she was too busy shagging malfoy," her hushed voice is laced with small giggles. i pick my head up and lean my chin on my hand.

"i didnt sleep with draco, jules." i deadpan as i use my free hand to pick up a spoon to draw shapes in the mashed potatoes. 

"what do you mean you didnt sleep with draco?" her hand shoots out to grab mine, pulling all of my attention to her.

"i was drunk, jules. he said he didn't want to while i was drunk." i shrug my shoulders nonchalantly as i hear cedric let out a low whistle while shaking his head slowly.

"salazars beard." i hear from my left. "theo and i shagged last night." jules attempt at whisper-shouting is just that, an attempt. after processing her words i scrunch my face up in confusion.

"but theo was in his dorm this morning?" how could that be? neither draco nor i heard them enter the room, there's no way they wouldn't have woken us.

"we didn't do it in a dorm," she mumbles bashfully, "we did it in the corridor." i choke on air when i hear her and i let out a shriek, slapping cedrics arm gently as I'm unable to hold in my shock. i turn to him he playfully pulls me against his chest.

"stay away from the innocent one, you'll corrupt her," he jokes, stroking my hair with one hand, and half covering my ear with the other. i laugh gently and allow myself to be hugged. im pulled out of our little bubble by the sight of draco storming out of the hall.


	13. e l e v e n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning : sexual content

dracos long legs carry him across the great hall quicker than i can process, one moment hes there and the other hes gone. i gently untangle myself from ced's long arms as i get up and follow after draco. by instinct, my legs take the first right and by my luck; there he is. dracos standing in a hidden cove just on the cusp of the corridor. his right hand is above his head resting on the wall while the other one continuously clenches and unclenches. i approach him slowly, unsure of how to announce myself.

"draco?" i try to keep my voice as soft as possible as i tiptoe towards him, moving the tapestry that was once hiding him back to its original position so that we have total privacy. whatever's going on, i have a feeling that its not good.

"do not," he growls, his voice raw with anger. unexpectedly he slams his fist against the cobblestone wall causing me to jump in surprise. 

"are you alright?" i inquire, gently placing my hand on his shoulder. in the blink of an eye im being pushed up against a wall. dracos hand slams down against the wall directly beside my head. i cower ever so slightly as he leans in closely, his nose upturned as if in disgsust.

"why come find me when diggory gives you everything you need?" he sneers, baring his white teeth as he does. his anger is so intense that i can feel it radiating off of him. i keep my eyes downcast in attempt to keep him calm, but instead he pulls his wand out of his pocket and pushes it against the hollow of my neck. i whimper as it pinches my skin. "hm?" he asks, increasing pressure on the wand as he does

"draco," i whimper," youre hurting me." dracos pressure stays the same as i feel hot tears well in my eyes. 

"give me one reason why i shouldn't?" his words are cold as ice as he closes the leftover distance between us, crashing his lips down on mine harshly. his wand stays pointed at my neck while the other wraps itself in my hair, pulling it taught. i kiss back feverishly, trying to help him rid whatever anger he's feeling. as he presses forward, i can feel his cock through his robes, hard and long. i ache for it. suddenly i feel malfoy's teeth bite down on my bottom lip, i gasp in surprise. in that moment he plunges his tongue in, it glides hot and wet against mine. it only takes seconds before i stop trying to gain control and let him take me. 

his grip in my hair tightens as he tilts my head up aggressively, abruptly ending our kiss. he makes his descent onto my neck, sucking harsh marks into my unblemished skin. i bite back a whimper by covering my mouth with my hand.

he tilts his head so that his mouth is by my ear, "move your fucking hand," he pants. i obey and let a long whine escape my mouth. he slots his knee between my legs and pushes upward, i cant help but let my head fall forward. its stopped by the pressure of malfoys wand forcing it upright. his eyes meet mine as he throws his wand to the other side of the room, pulling his robes over his head as i stare openly. soon after he rids himself of his shirt as well. closing the space between us he quickly rids me of my robes as well, leaving me in a tank-top and jeans. i begin to feel myself zone out, my vision going slightly fuzzy as i attempt to take all of this in. 

"take off your shirt," his chest is heaving heavily as he speaks. i continue to stare, barely processing his words before i feel his hand around my throat, gently applying pressure. "i said," he growls, " take off your fucking shirt." he moves back ever so slightly, i quickly fumble for the hem of my shirt, lifting it up above my head in a frantic motion. goosebumps break out along my skin as the cold air hits my skin, but i'm not cold for long. draco steps forward again and i feel his bare chest against mine, only the fabric of my bra separating us. my heart rate picks up as i feel him stare at my body. his hands are gentle when they're on me next, pushing the straps of my bra out of the way before undoing the clasp, it falls to the ground in a heap. 

i fidget slightly under his intense gaze, he watches me in silence. he takes one of his cold hands and trails it up my side before using it to cup my breast, tweaking my nipple with his slender fingers. my breath comes out in uneven pants as he lowers his head and sucks the hardened nipple into his mouth. expertly he twirls his tongue around it, sucking it into his mouth with just the right amount of pressure. his teeth scrape against it gently as he pulls it out of his mouth before turning to the one left untouched. i lean forward and try to get my hands on his belt, but instead he grabs my hands and pins them against the wall. 

"stay fucking still."

his hands trail down my body slowly, leaving me trembling with want. they finally reach the edge of my jeans and he slowly pops them open one button at a time. after the final one is down he gives me the nod of his head, signalling that i can take them the rest of the way off. i do so in a rush, not wanting to waste any time. 

he slides his index finger in the waist of my light blue panties, merlin i can tell i'm already soaked. he slides them down slowly so that they pool at the floor. i whimper in anticipation as his cool hand lowers itself toward my heat. he plunges in his middle finger, followed quickly by his ring finger. my head knocks back against the wall as i moan aloud. 

"bet diggory can't get you this wet," he grunts, twisting hid fingers in all the right ways. i quickly shade my head 'no'. after getting his fingers wet he trails them up my pussy until he reaches my clit. as he circles it with his fingers my body feels a thousand shocks running through it. he applies more pressure as he rubs the bundle of nerves. 

"draco," i moan out, shutting my eyes hard. "i'm gonna cum," my voice is barely able to be heard, but i know he hears it. he picks up the pace before shoving his fingers back into my wet cunt. i lean my head against his shoulder as he does so. almost as soon as i lay my head down he pushes it back up 

"look at me." his fingers hit my G spot hard and i shudder. "you belong to me." his hand ravels itself around my throat, squeezing it lightly. as he trails his fingers back out to give more attention to my clit he speaks again. "say it." 

i can't help the moan that pushes past my mouth. "i'm yours draco," my breaths coming out in shallow pants. i feel the tight heat coil in my stomach as he massages my clit in circles, watching my every move as he does so. his middle finger is directly on my clit, he pulls his hand away to spit on his fingers, i feel myself shiver as i watch his filthy action. the circles continue and he adds more pressure slightly. the heat in my stomach tightens until it feels like i'm being shocked all over. 

"draco," i moan as i cum. by the time i gain composure draco is already dressed and leaving the cove.


	14. t w e l v e

after watching draco storm out of the cove i quickly gather my clothes, barely processing what i'm putting on as i do it. it seems as though every time i think i'm beginning to understand draco he does something to prove me wrong. once full dressed, i take a few moments to compose myself. 

i pull the tapestry from the entrance and try to walk as nonchalantly as i can, it's not like draco malfoy just ravished me or anything. i assume that dinners already over so i decide to head straight for the hufflepuff common room. the walk is short but the hall seems to never end. 

"honeysilk," i mumble as i reach the entrance to the common room. the room glows orange as the sunsets outside the castle. in the far right corner of the room i see ced, luna and jules sitting on some couches. i give them a half-smile and make my way over to them. before i even get the chance to take a seat, i hear jules screech. 

"oh my god!" my head snaps up abruptly. "oh my god," her voice is quieter now as she covers her mouth. soon enough both luna and ced are also openly gaping at me. 

"venus," cedrics voice is full of concern. "that's not a hufflepuff tie." my veins run cold and i refuse to look, knowing that if i look down i'll see the telltale sign of a slytherin tie. quickly, i reach my hands up to get it off in a huff. jules pulls me into a tight side-hug as luna delicately smiles at me from across the room. 

"can you get theo to give this back to draco?" i ask jules, passing her the green and silver tie. she ticks it into her robe pocket and nods her head. 

"somethings off." cedrics hand makes its way across the table and onto my knee. "do you wanna talk about it?" his voice is as soft as silk and i melt into his gentle touch. numbly, i shake my head 'no' as i lean my head onto jules' shoulder. 

the week passes by agonizingly slow. draco doesn't speak to me, let alone looks at me. i've lost my appetite since the day at the cove, that was three days ago and i've barely been able to stomach any food since then. my appetite has simply just vanished. on the weekends i lay in my dorm with the curtains pulled tight, shutting out the world around me. when jules tries to talk to me it sounds muffled, as if i'm underwater. 

i'm in potions currently, snape left the class a few moments ago to go gather supplies for our potions. it doesn't matter, draco will make it while i sit here. it's not like i haven't tried to help, he refuses it. when snape returns he calls our names one by one to gather the supplies for our table. it's when theo stands up that jules turns around to face me. 

"venus, you don't look well." she reaches her hand out to feel my forehead. out of the corner of my eye i see draco glance at me before turning his attention elsewhere. i shrug at her and close my eyes. my breathing feels shallow and my palms are clammy, it's just a side effect of being near draco i guess. 

"ms. tugwood-zabini," snapes monotone voice drawls from the front of the room. i slip out of my desk and make my way there. i've only taken a few steps before i realize something is wrong. i pause, trying to keep my feet grounded to the floor. i can feel my heartbeat in my throat, and my vision swims. 

jules' shout is the last thing i hear before the edges of my vision turn black and i fall backwards. 

i awake later in the night, the moon outside the window is high in the sky. madame pomfrey rushes in the room immediately to shove potions down my throat. she scolds me about self-care as she does so; she reminds me a lot of mum. she crosses her arms and sighs gently as she cast a warming charm on me. 

"you have a visitor, normally i wouldn't allow this but in your case i believe it will help." and with that, she leaves. a few seconds later draco walks in, his eyes downcast. he takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he takes the chair next to my bed. 

"i don't know what to say," his voice is rough as if he'd been crying. "but i know that i have to apologize," his eyes are pleading for forgiveness. "i get jealous. that's who i am and i'm sorry for that."

i stare at him. "that's a piss poor apology," i huff. 

he rolls his eyes and quirks his lips up into a gentle smile. 

"however, i know that i had nothing to be jealous of." finally, he understands that i'm not shagging cedric. "because you weren't mine." all that i can do is blink at him. "i should only be jealous when someone touches what's mine, and id like for you to be mine." my hearts racing and i'm sure that my cheeks are scarlet. instead of attempting to stutter out an answer, i nod my head. 

draco lifts himself off of his chair and walks over to my bed, motioning for me to scoot over. i do so and he takes the place of where i once was. ours knees knock together but it's peaceful, we gaze at each other in silence. i close my eyes gently as he reaches up to cradle my jaw. 

"say it." he whispers, his grip on my jaw tightens ever so slightly. "say that you're mine."

"i'm yours." i whisper back to him. his grip loosens, he trails his fingers up my face so that he can tuck my hair behind my ear. 

"good." a smile dances across his moon lit face as i fall into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is nowhere near the end so don’t worry !


	15. t h i r t e e n

the bed is cold when i wake up, but there's a hand in mine. i crack open my eyes to peer to my right. sitting in the chair is blaise, he looks as though he'd been crying. too tired to speak, i wiggle my fingers against his to show that i'm awake. his eyes shoot up to meet mine and i'm taken aback at his appearance. his eyes are bloodshot, and there's bags under his eyes that are almost black. he lets a tear fall before wiping it away. 

"don't go all soft on me now," my voice is raspy from not using it, which is odd because i was talking to draco just hours ago. blaise chuckles and squeezes my hand gently in his. 

"you had a reaction to one of the potions that pomfrey gave you." his eyes pour into mine, soft brown meeting blue. "she had to put you into a medically induced coma, that was three days ago." i can do nothing but blink. that can't be right. i shake my head lightly at him, my eyebrows pinched on my face in confusion and denial. 

"no, i was with draco last night," i feel tears begin to well in my eyes. i would know if i was in a coma, right?

"no venus, draco saw you three nights ago. i don't know whatever's happening between you two but he's a wreck." he sighs, bringing his spare hand to scratch at his neck. i purse my lips and avert my eyes, i know that if he keeps looking at me like that that i'll break down. 

three days. i haven't been awake in three days. i try my best to process it but i just can't. did draco really ask me to be his, or was that a dream? i nervously bite at my lip as i begin to overthink. 

blaise stays for a while, but he leaves once jules arrives. she takes the seat that he was in and rests her elbows on my bed. 

"so," she trails on,"how are you feeling?" 

"like shit," i say bluntly. 

jules chuckles a bit but her face remains neutral. 

"it was scary, y'know?" and i nod at her, although i don't know. i have absolutely no idea how others felt. "me, theo and draco were in here when it happened. we skipped lunch to come visit you." shes crying, i don't even have to look at her to tell, i can hear it. "we weren't really paying attention," she sniffs," and then pomfrey rushed all of us out and wouldn't let us back in. it took draco threatening her with his fathers power for her to tell us what was going on." 

"but i don't remember you guys coming to visit?" confusion laced my voice as i reach out a hand to stroke her hair. 

"you hadn't woken up yet, that's what made pomfrey run some tests on you. your brain was swelling rapidly so she had to put you into a coma." i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding as i let the tears stream down my face. 

"how's draco?" i ask.

"bloody awful. he keeps moping, he got detention for hexing a third year too." merlin, i'll have to talk to him about that. but my anger for his use of violence disappears quickly. he was only worried about me, i have to remind myself of that. 

madame pomfrey decides to keep me for another night, just in case. 

i'm finally beginning to drift off when i hear shouting. it's malfoy's voice. 

"let me see her!" he shouts, presumably at madam pomfrey. i hear her huff, and then draco pulls back the curtain and makes his way to my bed. he's silent as he does so. he reaches my bed and motions for me to scoot over before taking a seat beside me. i watch him out of the corner of my eye, he looks awful. he's more pale than normal, his silver eyes have no light to them. he slides his arm under my back and wraps it around me, pulling my into his chest. 

"don't you dare do that again," he whispers into my hair. i smile, at least he's feeling well enough to threaten me. 

"it's fine draco, it's not like i died," i try to diffuse his anger. it backfires. 

"you fucking could have venus!" he yells, his body trembles in anger. merlin, i really should think before i speak. it's silent for a few minutes before i soak again. 

"did you come into my room the night that i fainted?" i ask him, my voice slightly muffled by his chest. 

"i did." that's all i need to hear before pressing a kiss into his jaw. draco breathed sharply through his nose. i think that for once, he shouldn't be the one doing the comforting. i lift myself up slightly so that my head is just barely above his. taking my right hand i run it delicately through his pale blonde hair. ever so softly i feel him nuzzle his nose into the crook of my neck. 

"i'm serious zabini." back to the last names i see. "don't ever fucking do that again." i laugh slightly at his protectiveness. 

"i won't, malfoy." i continue to play with his hair, running my fingers through it while i massage his scalp soon enough his breathing is deep and even. i allow myself to follow suit, hoping that i dream of blonde hair and silver eyes. 

when i wake up in the morning, i'm not met with the cold air. but instead, dracos warm body pressed against mine, and the smell of apples and mint encasing us.


	16. f o u r t e e n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexual content

it's been four days since i've fainted, madame pomfrey has finally cleared me to go back to my dorm. luckily i don't have to head back to class right away, seeing as how it's saturday. 

when it's time for me to the the hospital wing, dracos there's by my side. while he walks me to the hufflepuff common room he keeps his arm tightly around my shoulder so that we're flush together. we're just about to round the last corner when a first year comes dashing around it, barreling into me. dracos hand reaches out in a flash to stable me, by the time that he's made sure that i'm okay the kid is already gone. 

"fucking git," he mumbles, moving his hand to my elbow. i shrug it off gently. 

"i'm not made of glass y'know."

"that doesn't make me want to protect you any less." i get butterflies. 

draco walks me into my dorm and takes a seat on jules' bed, seeing as how she's not here to fight him off. i sit adjacent to him and cross my ankles. 

"why are you sitting so far away?" i ask, leaning back onto the bed. 

"would you prefer this?" i hear draco rise from his spot on the bed and soon enough i feel his hands on my hips lifting me further up the bed. i allow myself to be moved as my face flushes red. he hovers himself over my body with his arms on either side of my head. 

"yes, i prefer this," i breath out cheekily. draco places a soft kiss to my temple before capturing my mouth with his. it starts slow and languid, filled with unspoken words. he lifts one of his hands from beside my head and uses it to cradle my jaw, his thumb pulls gently on my bottom lip when he pulls away. when he swoops back in the kiss has changed, it's no longer filled with emotion, but lust instead. i open my mouth against his, allowing his tongue to dominate my mouth. his tongue glides against mine and i let out a soft moan. 

"get undressed," he rasps as he leans back to rid himself of his shirt. my hands move quickly as i throw my shirt to the ground, i look at him for confirmation before moving onto my pants. he lifts his legs off of mine has he shucks off his pants and throws them over the bed. he must think i’m taking too long as he tugs my pants the rest of the way off and stares. 

“completely undressed.” his eyes rake down my body hungrily. i nod and not my lower lip as i unclad my bra. i part my legs ever so slightly to take off my panties when dracos hand grabs my wrist. he tuts lowly before spreading my legs further apart with his other hand. 

“look at you,” he rasps. “such a good girl for me, already so wet.” his fingers toy with the waistband of my lace panties as i whimper. 

slowly, he swipes his thumb over my panties, applying pressure where my clit is. i buck my hips up into his hand and he uses his free hand to hold them down. 

“good girls stay still.”

i nod my head, not wanting to disappoint him. slowly, he begins to lower my panties until they’re pooling at my ankles. he’s a tease, trailing his slender fingers along the inside of my thigh. instinctively, i go to close my legs, but the thought of being good for draco is too strong, so i force them open. 

he begins to trail his fingers closer to my heat, he looks up at me before spitting on my pussy. i moan aloud, unable to help myself. he slowly moves his fingers in circles around my clit, tweaking it as he applies pressure. shocks are sent down my body as he picks up his speed. suddenly, he drifts his fingers downwards and plunges them inside of me. i squeeze my eyes shut as he fingers me. he starts with just his ring finger, curling it slightly while it’s inside me. then he adds his middle finger.

“you’re so wet for me, baby,” he growls. while he’s curling his fingers inside my wet pussy he brings his free hand around my neck, making me dizzy with want. i let out little sounds of ‘uh uh uh’ as he pushes me towards the edge. while his fingers are inside me, he places his thumb against my clit, rubbing it in circles while i cum around his fingers. 

i exhale heavily as he pulls his fingers out of me, looking me in the eye as he sucks them into his mouth, lapping his tongue around them. looking down, i can see the outline of his hard cock through his boxers. i push him back by his shoulders before getting off the bed. he looks at me with a raised eyebrow as i slink to my knees. his eyes widen as he realize what i want. 

“fuck,” he groans as he hastily pulls down his boxers. his hard cock springs up, thick and pink at the tip. my mouth waters at the sight. merlin, he’s huge. i lean my head forward and lick the tip slowly, lapping up the precome with my tongue. his hands are clenched in the blanked beside him as i lower my mouth down his length. i look up at him as i bob my head, choking slightly as i reach the base of his cock. his hand untangles itself from the blanket and he places it on the back of my head. he curls my hair around his fingers and pushes me further down his length. i choke as he hits the back of my throat, tears fill my eyes. as he holds me there he bucks himself into my mouth. 

“fuck, you’re such a good girl for me,” he koans, tightening his grip on my hair as he edges himself to the end. i moan around his cock, sending vibrations through his body. he lets out a deep moan as he fins down my throat. as i pull off it dribbles down my throat. draco leans down to catch it with his thumb, pushing it back into my mouth. 

his hand cradles my face gently as he pulls me up towards him. he leans back onto the bed and pulls me into his bare chest. my breathing slows as he strokes circles in my skin, giving my butterflies. i feel safe as i fall asleep.


	17. f i f t e e n

a/n   
who's here from tiktok??  
here’s a small update :)  
—

i'm awoken a few hours later by screaming. memories come flooding back to me as i realize that draco and i are laying naked in my bed. i don't even have to look up to know who's screaming, it's jules. 

"holy shit. holy shit." she repeats it like a mantra. i hear the sound of the door slamming shut, and then there's silence. draco let's out a low chuckle from beside me and i grab the pillow from under his head to hit him with it. 

"git," he hugs the pillow to his chest as i turn away to get dressed. i decide to change into pyjamas and throw my discarded clothes into the bin. draco makes no attempt to move, so i go and attempt to get him up. 

"hey," i whisper, pushing his hair out of his eyes are he pushes his face further into the mattress. he groans into it while stretching his long legs from under him. "get up," i flick his ear gently. he grimaces as he opens his eyes to peer up at me. 

"you're annoying, has anyone ever told you that," his voice is thick with sleep. i smile down at him softly. 

"yeah, you have you git." my hand finds its way to his and i catch myself toying with his rings. i slide one off of his middle finger and place it only my own. 

i put on a posh voice before speaking. "my father will be hearing about this," i put up my nose and sneer down at draco for extra effect. he scoffs and reaches for my hand, instead of taking the ring back he just holds my hand in his. i can't fight the smile that takes place on my face. 

"seriously, get dressed." i mumble bashfully. he rolls his eyes at me before getting up to find his clothes. i blush and avert my eyes as he gets up. he scoffs at my shyness. 

once dracos fully dressed i make my way to the door. the second i open it im face to face with jules, her eyes as big as saucers. 

"draco, get the fuck out," she motions for him to shoo. before leaving, draco places a soft kiss on my temple. as soon as he’s out the door jules tackles me to the ground. 

“what. the. fuck,” she yells, enunciating every word. i just laugh at her, not knowing what else i can say. “holy shit you fucked draco,” she gasps. my eyes widen and i vigorously shake my head no. 

“i didn’t fuck malfoy,” i whisper in a hushed tone. 

jules laughs. “oh right, he fucked you.” she pushes her pointer finger against my chest. 

“no!” i let my head rest against the floor. “no one did any fucking, but,” i pause,” i did blow him.” i close my eyes and wait for her to scream, but instead she’s silent. i peel one eye open to peek at her and her mouth is agape as she stares back at me. 

“holy shit, nice.”

“fuck you,” i laugh, sitting up to push at her shoulders. she scoots back and sits facing me with her legs crossed. 

“so?” she asks, leaning forward in anticipation. 

“he also asked me out,” i feel my cheeks heat up as her eyes light up. 

“how the fuck are you dating draco sodding malfoy before i’m dating theo?” she asked exasperatedly, throwing her arms in the air for extra effect. i stand up and offer her a hand, pulling her up with me. i try to lead her to my bed so that we can talk but she stops dead in her tracks 

“uh uh,” she shakes her head,” i am not going to sit where you and malfoy just fucked.” i sigh and lead her to her bed instead. 

“how’s your plan with theo going?” i quirk up an eyebrow as i ask, taking a seat on the foot of the bed. she sits beside me and leans her head on my shoulder. 

“not as good as i thought,” she huffs out. “i mean we’ve shagged and all but every time i try to flirt with him it’s like he implodes! he just goes all quiet on me and laughs.” her hands are in her lap, playing with the fraying on her jeans. 

“i’m sure you just intimidate him,” i nudge her lightly. “you are a bit scary.” she scoffs at me. 

“so you think i’m coming off too strong?” she turns to face me. “should i play hard to get?”

“no, you shouldn’t play hard to get. but maybe don’t flirt as hard.” that’s a good joke, asking jules not to flirt so hard. merlin i’m a comedian. she huffs and flops down onto her bed. 

“maybe you can put in a good word with draco,” she leans up onto her elbows. 

“jules.” i turn and lay on my stomach, our heads out beside each other. “i don’t need to put in a good word with draco, you’ll get him.” she smiles over at me and yawns. 

“when did you get so sappy?” she asks, pulling her blanket up to her neck. 

“i’m a hufflepuff, remember?” and i think, for once i’m proud to be a hufflepuff.


	18. s i x t e e n

snows falling at hogwarts as we approach winter break. draco and i have finished our potions assignment. although, if i'm being honest i wasn't much help. draco liked to refer to me as the 'eye candy for the artist'. git. 

with christmas coming up and the temperature dropping, i get to see more of dracos ruddy cheeks. our relationships gone smoothly, with a few bumps due to his jealousy or overthinking. a lot of his trouble is eased when cedric sits down at the library with us one evening. 

he drops himself down into the chair adjacent to us and folds his hands neatly on the table. he clears his throat lightly before stating," i'm gay." i reach my hand over and take his in my own, stroking my thumb on the back of his hand. draco nods his head once, but turns back to the assignment. cedric stares at him, waiting for him to let out some type of a reaction. 

"what, do you want a fucking parade? do you want me to get your flowers?" draco snaps at him as i giggle. "salazar, you hufflepuffs can't do anything without making it sappy." he rolls his eyes, but i can feel the relief radiating off of him. ever since the night in the great hall dracos been jealous that i have a 'thing' for cedric, or that cedric has a 'thing' for me. he switches between the two depending on the argument. 

today, it's a hogsmeade trip. jules was estatic to tell me that she tricked theo into going with her. she told him that they needed to pick up supplies for their potion, and poor theo believed her. he didn't realize that snape had provided all of the ingredients, jules had just thrown them away. everyday i find myself wondering how she didn't end up in slytherin. maybe her and theo would be a good match after all. 

the snow falls around draco and i as we walk to hogsmeade. i'm kept warm by one of dracos hoodies, along with a warming charm that encases the two of us. draco isn't much of a hand holder, he prefers to hook his pinky around mine. occasionally, he brings my hand to his mouth to press fluttering kisses to my hand. 

we enter the three broomsticks and take a seat nestled away in the corner. the atmosphere is bursting with livelihood as people chat about their plans for the holidays. above us is a dimly lit lantern that plasters us in a golden glow. 

when the waitress approaches us, draco slips her an extra galleon to not look at his ID as he orders us both a fire whiskey. neither of us plan on getting drunk tonight, but it's always nice to be able to relax. 

"are you going home for the holidays?" he asks me, his hand grazing mine as he reaches for the chips on the table. 

"yeah." i smile when i think of home. "is your family hosting a new years part again?" 

he rolls his eyes as if it's obvious, which i suppose it should be. the malfoy's are known for having the most attended new years party in england. 

"although i suppose it won't be as boring as it usually is if you're there as my date?" he quirks his eyebrow up at me and i feign a gasp. 

"draco malfoy." i fan my face with my hand," are you asking me to be your date to your new years party?" i smirk at him as he scoffs. 

"sometimes i wonder why i associate myself with you," he grumbles, a smile quirking it's way onto his face. i watch as he gazes ever so slightly at the roof, as though something magical is happening up there. 

"mistletoe," he rasps. my cheeks heat up as he leans across the table and takes my jaw in his hand, cupping it gently. the kiss is soft and slow, our tongues dance around one another. as he pulls back slowly, he leans back in once more to press a kiss to the tip of my nose. 

"you're gorgeous, you know." hes saying this to spite me, he just wants to see my face turn an indescribable shade of red. i stick my tongue out at him as i cross my arms. 

"you're a git, you know." draco choles out a laugh at that, mirroring me by crossing his arms as well. 

"wow," he huffs. "i'm nice for the first time in my life and this is how i'm treated?" he turns his nose up to me, faking a sneer as he does so. 

"you are insufferable." this time it's my turn to lean across the table and pull him into a kiss. i feel him smile into it as it deepens ever so slightly. before it can get too heated i pull away, not wanting to give all of hogsmeade a free show. he nips lightly at my lips as i do so. 

"you're a prat," he mumbles after pulling back. the smile on his face tells me otherwise.


	19. s e v e n t e e n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: mention of sexual assault

the monday after our hogsmeade weekend snape gives us a free period to work on our projects, which is unusually kind of him. draco and i however were able to finish ours the other night. and by draco and i, i mean draco. because we don’t need this class to work on our assignment, draco uses it as a brewing period. 

“i think i’ll practice my pepperup today,” he sniffs, talking to no one in particular. his hands grazing my thigh slightly as he turns to me. 

“can you grab me the ingredients?” he flashes me a smile i can’t resist.i push myself off my chair before jokingly flipping him off. i hear him feign as scoff and laugh under his breath. i head toward the closet that snape keeps his ingredients in, i’ve never liked it in here. the light always flickers above my head ominously, and it reeks of fermented food. 

i’m up on the ladder when i hear the heavy footsteps come up behind me, the culprit presses his front flush against my back as he reaches above me to grab the dragon scales. it’s when he touches me that i know that it’s not draco. his free hand grips my hip tightly in place; there’s no rings pressing into my skin. i breathe in sharply through my nose as i feel him lean in. his hot breath fans against my ear as i’m frozen in this spot. 

“venus,” he chuckles,” i can’t wait to see you on your knees, baby.” i recognize his voice, it’s marcus flint. his grip my my hip tightens, hard enough to leave bruises. all my muscles tighten as i’m glued to the floor in fear. sucking my bottom lip into my mouth i shake my head. 

“no? c’mon, i heard you’re easy,” he purrs, pulling me closer so that i can feel his hard on through his robes. i whimper uncomfortably as hot tears well up in my eyes. 

“it’s not like draco would mind.” his rough hand grips my shoulder tightly, pushing me down to the cold ground. 

the door to the closet swings open as the first of my tears start to fall. i can’t even bring myself to look up at them as my shoulders heave. i hear the sound of skin connecting with skin, and then the sound of marcus’ limp body hitting the floor. i know it’s draco, i see him hover over marcus’ unconscious body as he throws a few more punches for good measure. 

draco crouches down beside me, his face flushed with unbridled rage. he blinks at me a few times, yet never speaks. he doesn’t have to. he pulls me in towards his chest and i let myself cry. he places a soft kiss to my temple and tells me to go wait outside of the classroom. he meets me there a few moments later.

“i told snape what happened, he’s excused us from the rest of our classes for the day.” his hand reaches up gently to wipe my tears with his thumb. “i did get detention though for punching the fucker,” he mumbles. i smile softly at him before reaching my arms around him and pulling him close to me. he rests his pointy chin on my head as his fingers run through my hair. he pulls away slightly to look at me. 

“i shouldn’t have sent you there, i’m sorry.” he sounds sincere, his face scrunching up into a mixture of anger and sadness. 

“you couldn’t have known,” i whisper,”i don’t blame you, draco.” i say not for myself, but for him. i know that even with my forgiveness he’ll still beat himself up about it. 

“come on.” he doesn’t elaborate on where we’re going, he just pulls me along until we’re stopped inside the kitchens. i greet the house elves as they scurry about the kitchen, busy with the meal plans. 

draco seeks out dobby specifically, telling me about how he used to be his friend growing up. once we find dobby, draco whispers in his ear. dobby rushes around the kitchen, holding a small basket that he shovels food into. once finally done, he hands the basket to draco and says. 

“dobby missed master draco, sir.” draco smiles at him and nods his head gently. 

he reaches his free hand out to link his pinky in mine, i feel myself relax at his touch. he doesn’t tell me where we’re going, it’s not until we’re just outside of the room that i’m able to guess it correctly. 

“the astronomy tower,” i whisper as we climb the steps. draco places his bag and the basket down near the edge of the tower. he takes a seat and pulls me down with him. 

“you know that i’d never let anyone hurt you, right,” his eyes are dead serious as he gazes at me. i nod my head at him. i do trust him, truly. he nods his head to himself, as if this was me trying to reassure him instead of the other way around. i lean my head on his shoulder in hopes to provide him some comfort as well as some heat. the temperature seems to keep dropping at hogwarts, with more and more snow falling each day. from here we have a gorgeous view of hogsmeade, coated with a thin layer of white snow. i try not to think about earlier, i want to be in this moment with draco. he leans over slightly to grab the basket, pulling out two treacle tarts. he passes me one with a smile, he lightly nudges his cheek to my head, i smile at the gesture. 

“promise me that you’ll tell me if anything like that ever happens again,” he says out of nowhere. i nod my head. “no, venus i need you to say it. please,” he pleads. 

“i promise draco, don’t worry.” i smile reassuringly at him as i reach out to loop his pinky with mine. i look out of the corner of my eye to inspect the bruises littered across his knuckles. slowly, i bring his hand up my my mouth to place a soft kiss upon each bruise. 

“i’m cleaning these later.” he smiles at me, his eyes sparkling as he does so.


	20. e i g h t e e n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexual content

the week flashes by before my eyes. it’s a normal week for the most part, except for when i have to see marcus flint. it’s friday now, the last day before the winter break and he’s still covered in purple bruises. they scatter themselves across his cheekbones, and there’s a gash just above his eye. he hasn’t talked to me since that day in snapes class, but sometimes i feel his eyes on me. at those moments i’m the most thankful for draco. it’s like he keeps replying it in his head, never once letting his guard down. 

classes have ended for the day, meaning that we only have one more day until we’re meant to go home. draco decidedly wants to spend this time together. alone. he brings me up to what’s become ‘our spot’. the astronomy tower. it’s always breathtaking up here. the suns currently setting above hogsmeade, panting the white snow a glowing hue of gold. 

we’re sat near the edge, dracos conjured a blanket to put over the cold floor. 

“i think i might come back to hogwarts a few days early.” i fiddle with his hand as i talk to him. he turns to me and quirks a brow.

“oh?” he asks

“i’m not missing the new years party, idiot.” i smile, nudging. him with my shoulder. “i just think that i’ll spend the last couple days here. after the party.” i watch his eyes carefully, searching for any emotion that i can decode. nothing. 

“okay.” he says with the nod of his head. “i want you to stay away from other guys,” his voice is low as he looks as me through hooded eyes. he swoops his mouth down to press languid kisses to my neck, sucking purple bruises whenever he pleases. i let out a small whimper as he reaches my pulse point. “i don’t trust them,” he drawls, reaching his hand up to trace his cold fingers along the fresh marks. “i don’t like people touching what’s mine.” and with that he forgoes my neck for my lips. slotting them together like they’re made for each other. there’s a certain edge to the way that he kisses, but i could say that about the rest of him; he’s filled with sharp edges. his hand trails up to my jaw, he presses his thumb down on my chin forcing my mouth open for him. 

his tongue flicks its way inside of my mouth. i reach up to tangle my hands in his platinum hair, tugging as he bites on my bottom lip. he lets out a groan that goes straight to my core, filling me with heat. his hands trail down my body slowly until he reaches the buttons of my jeans. he toys with them for a minute. 

“can i?” i take in a sharp breath and nod my head. “i need you to say it, venus,” he growls, his silver eyes pouring into mine. 

my whimper is a barely audible,”yes.”

draco wastes no time after hearing me, he unbuttons my pants with fervour. i let myself lean back against the softness of the blanket, propped up on my elbows. once he has my pants off, he sucks a breath through his teeth as he gazes down at my panties. while i’ve never worn ugly ones, they’ve always been boring, normally they’re all cotton with a lace trim. these ones though, they’re periwinkle blue with a floral lace design that covers the front. 

“fuck, you’ll be the death of me,” he whispers, his voice gruff. he places a hand on my inner thigh, tracing small circles along my sensitive skin. his eyes meet mine as he teases me; he’s waiting for me to break. 

“please,” i beg, knowing that that’s what he wants to hear. the corner of his mouth quirks up. “please draco.” slowly, he trails his fingers over my panties, hovering over my entrance. 

“so wet already for me,” his other hand finds itself on my hip bone, pressing me down into the floor. he slides my panties to the side as he slowly sinks two fingers into me. it burns a little — he usually starts with one. “fuck you’re so tight,” he growls, his grip on my hip tightening. he pumps his fingers in and out of my heat, curling them to make me see stars. suddenly, he turns his attention to my clit. he looks at me while lowering his head down to lap his tongue over it. his fingers keep their pace in my pussy, making me moan out. i slap a hand over my mouth, not wanting anyone to hear. he pulls his mouth away for a moment

“let me hear you,” he demands. and then he’s diving back in, sucking my clit into his mouth. i nod my head, not that he can see. my core feels like it’s on fire as his fingers fuck me and he circles his tongue around my bundle of nerves. with one last lick he pulls his mouth away. 

“can i fuck you?” he’s panting, pulling his fingers out slowly before sucking on them. i should be embarrassed but all that i manage to do it let out a moan. 

“please,” i whimper out, my eyes clenching shut. “yes.”

“look at me,” his voice is rough. “i want you to look at me while i fuck you.” he wordlessly mumbles something under his breath and soon enough i feel the fluttering in my stomach. the contraceptive charm. i take a moment to consider telling draco that i’ve never done this, but i don’t want to ruin it. i don’t want him to treat me like i’m fragile. i watch as he nimbly unbuckles his belt, tossing it along with his pants across the room. while i was lost in my thoughts he must have taken his shirt off. he’s left standing there in his boxers, his bulge straining against it. i suck my bottom lip between my teeth as he rids himself of them. 

he hovers his body over nine, caging my head in between his two arms. he trails his mouth down my neck, lapping at the bruises. he nips slightly at my pulse point, i moan as my back arches against my will. he chuckles darkly into the crook of my neck. “i am going to fucking ruin you for anyone else.” 

my moan rips through me, loud as his cock reaches my entrance. he places one of his hands under my thigh, hiking my leg up for more leverage. he slides his cock in, giving me only seconds to adjust to his length. fuck, he’s huge. tears well in my eyes as he pushes in to the hilt. his hips flesh against mine. i blink through them to see him staring down at us, at where we’re connected. his cheeks are flushed and his hair is a mess, merlin i want him so bad. 

“please draco,” i whimper, my breath coming out in small pants. this seems to get his attention, he slowly pulls his cock out before slamming it back in. he picks up the pace. his hip bones slam hard enough against me to leave bruises and i love it. suddenly, he stops. 

“let me do something.” he sits up onto the balls of his feet, his cock still inside of me. he scoops his hands under my back, pulling my so that i’m on top of him. fuck he gets so much deeper like this. he lets out a moan that he muffles with my neck. he sets his legs out in front of him and bends his knees. 

“go on,” his teeth catch the skin of my neck. i nod my head slowly before lifting up on his cock. i moan as i slide myself back down his length. i place my hands against his chest before picking up the speed. i bounce on his cock and he lets out these grunts that leave me soaked. he trusts up his hips to meet mine and i feel myself getting close. 

“draco,” i moan out. he nods his head. 

“fuck, keep saying my name,” he throws his head back, arching into my touch. 

“draco i— oh god.” his cock relentlessly hits my g-spot. i throw my head back as white hot pleasure rolls over me. he grinds up into me as he chases his high, ring his hips into my tight heat. within seconds he’s cumming inside of me. 

“fuck,” i whisper out, barely audible. i can feel him leaking out of me. he pulls his cock out slowly, placing his hands on my hips as he does so. i let my head lean onto his shoulder. he holds me in silence, but we don’t need to talk. 

i hear draco accio his back along with his clothes, before placing me on the ground he looks at me, stroking my cheek with his thumb. i stare at him, my eyes half lidded, i’m unable to decipher the look on his face. i hope it’s good. he pulls out a pair of his joggers and places them in my hand. 

“jeans are awful to get on.” is all he says as he lifts my hips off of him and onto the blanket. 

merlin, how am i supposed to go a week without him?


	21. n i n e t e e n

the train ride home is agonizingly short. it's not enough time, all the time in the world wouldn't be enough time with him. he's sitting here to my left, my head is resting gently on his shoulder as he talks to theo who sits across from him. i gaze over at jules who can't seem to take her eyes off of theo. they don't touch each other, they both keep their distance. somehow, i think that they'll work out.

we spend the ride in silence, we don't need to talk. this isn't a goodbye. at random moments he turns to me and places soft kisses on the crown of my head, and i'm completely enamoured by his touch. 

when we arrive at kings cross i'm riddled with anxiety, i've relied on draco for a voice of reason and comfort through the term. i count my lucky stars for new years, the thought of being able to see him then keeps me grounded. 

his pinky is linked with mine as he carries his trunk with his other hand. i've handed mine off to blaise who walks beside draco. in the distance i'm able to see mum and dad, my eyes fill with tears immediately. i had forgotten how much i missed them. i look up at draco to see his eyes scan the crowd of students and parents. his mum is off in the distance with theo's, chatting about something or another. 

i knew it was coming, the second that he spots her he lets go of my hand. he doesn't want to show any type of weakness to his family, even if it is just his mother. he distances himself from me ever so slightly, i feel a pang in my heart that i try my best to ignore. 

i break away from draco to hug my mum, wrapping my arms around her tightly. over her shoulder i see him walking, his pointy chin held up high as he approaches his mum. i sigh deeply before moving on to hug dad. blaise is right after me, enclosing dad in a brief hug before pulling away. 

"did you two have a good term?" mum asks, her bright smile is almost blinding. i try to ignore the sadness i feel as i nod, putting on a smile for show. 

"what's happening with you and draco, hm?" dad asks, trying to seem nonchalant as his eyes search my face. i flush slightly and shrug my shoulders. i hear blaise scoff lightheartedly beside me. 

"they're together," is all he says. 

the gardens have always been my favourite thing about home. in the summer they're a lush green, blooming with flowers and shaped hedges. but i've always preferred them in the winters, they get dusted in snow as the trees lose their leaves. i used to spend my winters near the hedges making snowmen, mum would charm them to dance around me for hours. 

today is walking the perimeter with blaise, both of us dressed in our winter coats. 

"i know that i don't know what's happening between you and malfoy," he brings up out of no where. his eyes don't stray from the sky as he speaks. "but i just wanted to tell you to be careful." i furrow my brows lightly.

"i am careful," my voice is small compared to his. 

"i mean it." he stops suddenly, finally turning to face me. "you saw what happened with him and pansy in fourth year. she was heartbroken for months." i cringe slightly as he mentions it, draco had an explosive breakup with pansy out of nowhere. gossip travelled quickly, it was revealed that he was desperate to lose his virginity and she was available. however, she thought that this meant that they were in a relationship. he didn't want to break up with her too soon, he kept her by his side for a few months before tossing her aside, as if what they had meant nothing. and draco revealed as soon as they broke up that in fact it had meant nothing to him. he mentioned this quite publicly to be specific. 

"he's not like that anymore." i'm not sure who i'm trying to convince more— him, or myself?

his gaze is intense as he looks at me, but he finally lets it go as he nods his head and continues walking. 

"you seem happy with him, at least." he smiles over his shoulder as i catch up to him. 

"i am," i huff out, watching my breath float in the cold air. 

"you know i'll kill him if he hurts you, right." i think he's joking, at least i hope he's joking. blaise has always been overprotective of me, especially when we finally went to hogwarts. he knew that me being placed in hufflepuff would cause a problem, doe  
kids weren't so nice. and i knew that i had to protect him too, not in the same way, but i knew of the prejudice. even at eleven i knew that slytherins were more likely to be hexed in the halls. 

that's what our relationship was, we protected each other from afar. 

there's an owl sitting in the kitchen when we get in, it's a beautiful mix of grey and brown. hanging on by a piece of thread is a letter. i rush forward, instantly recognizing that this is dracos owl. i unlatch the letter from its leg and grab a treat from the jar before opening another window for him to fly out of. 

his near scrawl dedicates the letter to me. 

'venus,

i hope your holiday is going well. i hate  
to sound like a hufflepuff, but i've missed you.  
wear something pretty to the new years party

yours,  
Draco'

i catch myself smiling like a madman at the letter that i hold in my hands. it feels like such an accomplished to make draco malfoy go soft. yet still, there's something that keeps nagging at the bag of my mind. something that keeps telling me that it's all a lie. that it's just because i'm 'easy'. maybe i am just like parkinson. 

i force myself to snap out of my thoughts, i can't think like this. i shake my head slightly, before taking the letter up to my room and tucking it into my nightstand before laying down in my head, tucking my bear under my chin before falling into dreams filled with grey eyed assholes.


	22. t w e n t y

the new years party comes faster than expected, i find myself pacing my room as my thoughts race. 

he said to wear something nice— did he mean it? was he joking? i roll my eyes at my own thoughts; how do i manage to overthink the smallest of things. i take a deep breath in as i close my eyes. as i exhale i feel calmer, more subdued. it will be fine. 

on my bed lays a black dress. it's skin tight with long sleeves. i pick it up, the material is soft in my hands. i've already done my makeup so i'm careful putting the dress on, not wanting to smudge any of it. i decide on keeping my hair down, i know that whatever i do to it won't look good. i've never been the greatest at doing my own hair, that's why i let it flow naturally most of the time. 

when i leave my room blaise is already waiting for me. he's dressed in a black suit with a black tie. i smile up at him and he starts walking toward the study. 

"everything's packed?" he asks me, looking at me from over his shoulder. i nod at him, flashing him a brief smile. ive decided to cut my visit home short to head back to hogwarts. the thought of cedric being there, all alone during the holidays puts a pit deep in my stomach. 

as soon as we enter the study we see the floo, it's beside the desk to our right. blaise motions for me to go first, smiling gently as he does so. i scoop up a handful of floo powder and inhale sharply. 

"malfoy manner!" i shout as i drop the powder to the ground. green flames engulf my vision. i stumble slightly as i arrive at the manner, it's already bustling with people. great. 

i take a step forward as i wait for blaise, he looks calm and collected as he arrives. i roll my eyes at him, of course he doesn't stumble. to my left i see a head of blonde hair poking out from over the crowd.

"i'm gonna find draco," i tell blaise, my cheeks heating up as i do so. i need to calm down, it's only been two weeks since i've seen him last. merlin, i am such a hufflepuff. i laugh slightly to myself, knowing that draco would be calling me a hufflepuff too if he heard me. 

as i get closer i can tell that somethings off. he's swaying on the spot and using his hand to help support his weight. 

"draco?" i ask, furrowing my brows as we come face to face. he quirks the corners of his mouth up into a smile, and i know immediately that he's drunk. he's beyond drunk at this point, he can barely stand. "are you alright?" i ask him, not wanting to reach out and touch him in fear of his father seeing. 

"oh i am just brilliant," he whisper-shouts. upon closer inspection i realize that he looks sickly. his eyes have slightly dark bags bags beneath them, not noticeable enough to see unless you were staring. his cheekbones jut out more than usual, making his face sharp. 

"i think you should drink some water," i keep my voice down, not wanting him to be embarrassed. he nods his head jerkily while taking his lip between his teeth. 

"i've got water in my room," he slurs out before decidedly turning on his heel to stumble up to his room. i hastily follow him, not wanting him to fall down the stairs in a tragic accident. he holds the railing in a death grip as he ascends the stairs. we reach his room which had been charmed shut, presumably by him. he mutters out an 'alohomora' but it doesn't work, his speech is badly slurring together. 

i brush my hand against his as i lean forward to whisper out,"alohomora." the door unlocks with a 'click' and draco pushes his way in. he shuts the door behind me before lazily trailing his eyes around the room. to my left i see the water bottle, i pick it up and raise it to my lips to take a sip. the second it hits my tongue i know that it's not water. this is pure vodka. i sputter slightly before tearing it away. i look at draco, my eyes brows drawn together. 

"draco," i start,"how long have you been drinking?" i ask him as gently as i can. he shrugs his shoulders heavily before grabbing the bottle from me to drink more. my eyes widen and i reach forward to take it back. in a huff i head toward the en-suite, dumping out the vodka in the sink and replacing it with water. dracos sat on the bed when i return, struggling with removing his shoes. i hand him the water bottle as i kneel down to help him with his shoes. 

"i like this view," he mumbles as i roll my eyes at him. 

"please," i huff," please, tell me what's wrong." my eyes bore into his as i pry. blue meets dull, empty silver. i frown ever so slightly, hoping that draco can't see my sadness. i don't want him to have to worry about me. he reaches out to run his thumb across my lips. something in his demeanour changes. 

"get out."

i flinch at his words. there's no bite behind them, there's nothing behind them. he's almost emotionless. 

"what?" i utter. dracos hands reach up into his hair and he tugs, clenching his eyes shut as he does so. 

"you need to fucking leave!" he raises his voice, i slowly rise from my spot on the ground, careful as not to startle him. 

"lay down draco," i tell him, gently nudging his shoulder down to the mattress. he doesn't fight me. i gather the blankets that are at the foot of the bed and bring them up to his chin. i take a seat beside him, reaching my fingers up into his platinum hair. 

"i need for you to tell me what's bothering you." i try to keep my voice as gentle as possible. downstairs i can hear the muffled voices counting down. it's almost midnight. i card my fingers through his hair and realize that it's different, more brittle than usual. it doesn't feel right, everything feels wrong. 

"3..2..1" they erupt into cheers and draco cringes before surging up to slot his mouth against mine. there's something else behind it, some type of aggression. 

"you're bothering me," he mumbles against my lips before laying back down. he closes his eyes and turns to face away from me. "go home, zabini."


	23. t w e n t y o n e

i arrive at hogwarts the next morning feeling hazy and confused. nothing about draco made sense to me last night. whatever's going on with him i just hope he's alright. 

the common room is warm when i walk in, the fireplace is blazing beside the couches, filling the room with the smell of smoke. it's comforting, it reminds me of home. beside the fire i see cedric and a goofy smile makes it's way onto my face. i feel like i'm never able to spend enough time with him. across from him sits luna, they seem to be in a rather intense game of wizarding chess. 

lunas king beheads cedrics queen as i sit down beside her. 

"hello venus," her whimsical voice is as soft as ever. i smile at her. 

"hi luna." i reach my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. cedric gets to his feet to come over to us, wrapping the two of us in his arms. he ruffles my hair gently before making his way back to his seat. 

"how were your breaks?" i ask them, my eyes shifting between the two of them. 

"mine was pretty boring until luna came," cedric smiles at her gratefully. he explains how he decided to stay here for the winter. cedrics always been selfless, he wanted to stay here to keep the first years who had no reason to go home someone to talk to. 

the three of us take turns playing one another in chess, eventually i sit out because i never win. it's basically like playing against a house elf. i smile as i watch them banter, pulling my knees up to my chest. 

"lunas sleeping here tonight, we've got some blankets over on that desk if you'd like to join us," cedric points to the desk behind me. i nod as i head over to the pile of blankets placed messily on the table, grabbing out a soft white one. 

"cedric was just about to tell me something interesting before you came, venus." lunas eyes sparkle as she smiles over at me. "isn't that right, cedric?" she asks him. cedric smiles sheepishly and brings a hand to rub at his neck. 

"well i don't know if i'd call it interesting," he pauses. "just something personal." i smile at him, encouraging him to continue. he does after a sharp inhale. "i like harry." he brings both of his palms up to cover his face. my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline as i gasp. 

"cedric, that's cute," i tell him," you should ask him out." i shift slightly, trying to get comfortable on the couch. cedric rolls his eyes at me. 

"of course you'd say that. he's with ginny, anyways." he picks at his nails, avoiding our eye contact. 

"i think you should try it," luna pipes up from beside me. "i think your nargles would get along." merlin i've missed her. 

"what about you, hm?" cedric lifts his head up to look at me. "how are you and the slytherin prince?" he puts on a posh accent when talking about draco. i cringe at the thought of him. 

"i- uh- we're good." i lie through my teeth. 

"don't lie," luna looks over at me," you don't need to lie." 

i sigh exasperatedly before talking. "i don't know what we are. we were never officially dating." cedric and luna are watching me intently. "but we were each other's. and now i don't know what we are." luna places a comforting hand on my knee. "i thought that if i was his, and he was mine then that was all we needed to be. but it's just exhausting, and i get that his family isn't the best, and it totally stresses him out but he just shut down." i explain, trying to keep myself collected. "when i saw him yesterday he was drunk, he yelled at me to leave and he wouldn't call me by my name." i refuse to meet their eyes when i'm done, knowing that they'll see the gloss coating my eyes. 

"he's always been difficult," cedric sighs out. "but i've never known you to give up when something gets hard." i snort, that's a lie. 

"i literally give up at least once a semester," i mutter out as cedric laughs. 

"okay, okay that's true. i just think that if you really want to be his, then i know that you'll fight for it." i count my lucky stars for cedric, i truly am grateful for him. 

i look down at my trunk that sits by my feet. the clock above cedric says that it's almost midnight. almost january third. the anniversary of my parents death. 

i open my trunk quietly, rummaging around to find my stuffed bear. i hold onto it tightly as the clock hits twelve. luna and cedric look at me knowingly, i told them the significance of my bear in second year. that was the year that i had lost it, dropped it on the hogwarts express and broke down in the common room when i couldn't find it. 

luna breaks the silence. "venus, i'm not sure if it means anything to you, but dracos nargles almost always disappear when he's with you." she gazes at me. i smile at her, knowing that she's telling the truth. luna would never lie about nargles. 

jules shows up when we're all drifting to sleep, she slams open the portrait and climbs her way onto the couch between luna and i. 

"there's a free spot over there," i choke out, pointing to the spot beside cedric. jules shrugs and places a kiss on the top of lunas head, and then mine next. 

"i gave up on theo asking me out," she announces. 

"oh jules, that's too bad-" she cuts me off with a hand to my mouth 

"so i asked him out instead," she beams. merlin, she just loves making a dramatic entrance. "but he says that he doesn't want to have sex until we're there in our relationship, isn't that sweet?" she asks, exhaling softly. i smile up at her. 

"that's amazing jules, i'm so happy for you." i nudge her softly with my shoulder as she beams down at me. 

"now we can go on double dates. me and theo, and you and draco." my heart stops. i don't know how to tell her that somethings wrong between draco and i, so i just nod my head. i see cedric shake his head across the room.


	24. t w e n t y t w o

draco arrives at hogwarts the day before the break ends, looking sunken in and exhausted. his once normally pale face has an almost blue tinge to it. i cringe the first time i see him, knowing that whatever happened over the break mustn't have been good. 

i had hoping for him to come back and for everything to fall into place, but apparently that had been wishful thinking. draco goes out of his way to ignore me. every class we have together he conveniently is able to skip. 

it takes 28 days for him to talk to me. 

we're in care of magical creatures at the moment, and today is some sort of miracle. draco actually shows up to class. he doesn't stand by me or anything, but he's here. it takes everything i have to not stare at his sickly appearance. 

the class is dismissed by hagrid as he heads off to feed the flobberworms. 

this morning i had decided that enough was enough. if he was going to break off whatever we had going, then i deserved an explanation. i needed one. 

draco was a few meters ahead of me, walking alone toward the castle. we're on the outskirts of the forbidden forest when i finally reach him. i grab onto the sleeve of his robe, tugging it harshly. i see his body freeze up as he sneers at me. his eyes are filled with anger as he rips his arm out of my grasp before heading back to the tower. 

the second that i make it into my dorm i lose it. i cry. i need something to comfort me so i search through my nightstand for my bear. it seems as though i must've left it in my trunk though, it's not there. i open my trunk which lays at the foot of my bed. nothing. 

i rip my wand out of my robe pocket. "accio stuffed bear."

nothing. 

panic seeps in as i rummage around the room. every crevice turns up empty. it's not here. q

i don't know where else to go, i don't know any other place that can comfort me like this. my legs are carrying me up the steep stairs of the astronomy tower, trembling ever so slightly. 

once here i let everything out. the anger, the fear and the hatred. i'm angry at myself for being so careless. with my relationship with draco and with my belongings. i'm afraid of what's going on with draco, i fear for his health. and i hate what he's done to me. i hate that he's made me scared and angry. and i hate myself for letting him make me like this. 

i sit against the wall, allowing my head to lean back against it as i cry. the hot tears stream down my face quickly, each time i think it's over a fresh set rolls down my cheeks. 

i get off my feet, feeling tired of just sitting here allowing these feelings to envelop me. i walk toward the railing, resting my hands against the cool metal. and just once i let out a scream. i want everything that i'm feeling to leave. i want to be left feeling nothing. i want to be left empty. anything would be better than what i'm feeling right now. 

the sound of footsteps alerts me to someone's presence, i turn sound wildly, my hair sticking to the fresh tear tracks. 

draco. 

he's frozen like a deer in headlights, his eyes dull as he stares at me. without saying a word he turns and descends the stairs. i let the anger consume me, it's red hot and prickly against my skin. 

how could i let him make me like this? how could i give him the satisfaction of seeing me broken? merlin i should've listened to blaise. 

my thoughts stop. 

blaise. that's who i need to go to. blaise will talk some sense into me. blaise might even know where my stuffed bear is. i sniff softly before wiping the leftover tears off of my face. i exhale slowly through my mouth before heading to the slytherin common room. 

it's when i reach the dungeons that i realize that i don't know the password. fuck. i close my eyes as i knock, praying for anyone but malfoy to answer. the gods seem to be on my side today, theo swings open the door with a smile. i smile lightly back at him, i know that it doesn't reach my eyes. 

"m'lady." he gestures for me to enter and i chuckle softly. over by the fire is blaise, who luckily is sitting alone. 

i make my way over to him and take a seat beside him on the couch, resting my head on his shoulder. the second he runs his fingers through my hair i feel myself shatter. 

i snort humourlessly thinking of blaise and dracos interaction earlier in the year. 'sisters off limits' said draco. funny. 

blaise doesn't say anything as he massages my scalp, he doesn't have to. he knows. he's always had a way of knowing what was wrong, but never had the gift of knowing what to say. instead, he's learned to communicate through touch. 

from under my cheek i feel blaise stiffen up. i open my eyes slightly confused at his action. 

"i see you've found a charity case, blaise." my blood runs cold as malfoy's voice carries across the room. i keep my eyes downcast, not wanting to look at him. 

"watch yourself, malfoy," blaise growls out. his fingers continue to card through my hair in an attempt to keep me calm. 

draco laughs from across the common room. i hear his footsteps as he approaches us. "she's just upset because she's realizing that i was right." my eyes shoot up to meet his, he's standing in front of the couch across from us. the only thing that separates us is a small black coffee table. 

"she was easier than romilda vane," draco brags. i can't keep listening to this, i know that it will destroy me. yet i can't bring myself to get up and leave. "might've been the easiest i've had," he sighs," i mean c'mon," he takes a pause, fiddling with the rings that i once adored. "who knew hufflepuffs were so slutty." 

blaise is up off of the couch before i can react, jumping across the table to punch draco. the sound of his fist hitting malfoy's cheek echos in my ears and i gasp. i know that i'm completely powerless. one after another his fist rains down on dracos pale face. 

"stop it blaise!" i yell from the side, too afraid to try to go between them. he relentlessly smashes his fist against dracos pointy cheekbones as draco lays there limp. streaks of blood gush from his nose and a gash in my eyebrow. 

draco seems to egg him on, sputtering out "that's all you got?" i hear a shout that i can't seem to decipher from behind me. theo and graham montague rush in, pulling at blaises shoulders. 

"mate, drop it," theo grunts as he finally is able to pull blaise off of draco. over his boulder draco spits out blood, probably staining the green carpet. 

i watch in horror as dracos head falls back against the rug, passing out.


	25. t w e n t y t h r e e

malfoy is dragged to the hospital wing by montague and theo. blaise managed to break dracos cheekbone and his nose. i want to feel happy, to feel relieved that blaise stood up for me but i can't help but feel sorry for malfoy. ugh, stupid hufflepuff feelings, i think to myself as i head back to my dorm. 

the common room is empty as i walk through it, except for the occasional student finishing up an assignment. as soon as i step foot into my dorm i make my way over to jules' bed, knowing that she'll know how to make the pain a bit better. 

she stirs slightly in her sleep, he dirty blond hair frames her face like a halo. i gently shove at her shoulder, prodding her awake. 

"jules," i whisper from beside her. i hear her let out a small hum, showing me that she's at least somewhat awake. "sit up, please." she groans before stretching her legs out and sitting up. 

"what? i was having a dream about theo," she mumbles, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. 

"blaise beat draco up." her eyes widen almost comically when i talk. she sits in silence for a few moments. "say something, please," i beg. 

"why?" is all shes able to muster. 

"draco uh-" i bite my lip, unsure of how to explain it. "he kinda implied that he just wanted to use me for sex," i avert my eyes, not wanting her to see how hurt i truly am. "said that i was easier than romilda," i chuckle humourlessly at that. 

"fucking prat," she growls, fully awake now. "venus, if he was just using you for sex -and i'm just saying if- then he can go fuck himself. however, i think that he cares about you, i've seen the way that he looks at you."

i scoff at that, he's probably only ever looked at me like i'm an object. 

"so i have a plan." i groan, her plans barely ever work. "make him jealous," she perfectly enunciates every word.

make him jealous. i could do that. i totally can do that. i wrap my arms around jules, pulling her into a tight hug. 

"you're the best," i place my hands on either side of her head and place an over exaggerated kiss on her forehead. she giggles as he pushes me away. 

"okay, okay you goblin. now let me sleep," she shoos me away as she settles back down under her covers. 

i can't sleep. no matter what i try; i can't stop seeing malfoy's battered face. and i hate myself for the sympathy that i feel towards him, obviously somethings wrong. i quickly send a glance over to jules' bed, i see she's sleeping peacefully. merlin, she'd hate me if she knew what i was going to do. 

i get up out of bed carefully, slipping on a pair of slippers to keep my feet warm. as quietly as i can i close the door, careful as to not wake jules. o need to see him, even if he doesn't want to see me. 

the walk to the hospital wing is long and cold, i find myself wishing that i had brought a sweater. the door is slightly ajar, i'm able to slip in and scan the room for draco. 

fuck. 

his face is swollen as he lays in the cot. he's the second cot on the right side, i make my way over there, trying to be as quiet as possible. i take a seat on the chair beside his bed. 

"draco," i whisper, leaning forward to brush his hair out of his face. the tips of his shiny blonde hair are stained red, they look almost rusty. i being my free hand up to rest beside his, letting our pinkies brush together ever so slightly. beside me i feel his hand twitch ever so slightly. he doesn't open his eyes as he mumbles. i can't seem to hear him at first, it's too quiet. 

"don't touch the bear," he slurs out. at first, i think he's dreaming. he must be sleep talking, there's no other explanation. yet something in the back of my mind keeps me alert. i can't even find my best, how in the hell would i touch it?

draco doesn't wake up for the rest of my visit, albeit i don't stay long. i need to head back to my dorm before madam pomfrey finds me here. i stand up, placing a gentle kiss to dracos forehead, knowing that he needs it. whatever's going on, i know that i need to be here for him, even if it destroys me. 

the walk back to my dorm is quiet, yet my thoughts run wildly. there's almost too much to process. i refuse to even think about draco calling me easy, i push that memory as far away as possible. 

the dorm is dark when i enter, the only light coming from the reflection of the moon. 

"lumos," i mumble with the flick of my wand. sitting on my bed is my bear. in my excitement i almost rush to it, forgetting dracos warning. before i'm able to grasp it i stop in my tracks. what if his warning wasn't meaningless? i'd rather be safe than sorry. 

"wingardium leviosa," i point my wand at the bar and watch as it floats in the air. i keep it out of arms reach as i head toward the headmasters office. 

i rasp my knuckles against the door urgently, silently praying that dumbledore is still awake. the door slides open slowly, creaking as it does so. once there's enough room i float the bear through the door, following shortly after. 

"professor, i think there's something wrong with this bear." he looks up at me from his place at the desk, his eyes full of concern. 

"place it down in front of me, i'll take a look." he readies his wand as i place the bear on the table as gently as i can. dumbledore begins mumbling all sorts of spells, some of which i don't even recognize. when he finally stops, his face is solemn. 

"this bear is cursed," his eyebrows are furrowed as he speaks. "dark magic, i'm assuming. it seems to be laced with some sort of an obliviate charm." 

"so, whoever touches it loses their memory?" i ask him, my voice laced with concern. 

he shakes his head lightly," not quite, it seems as though it's a dark variation of the spell, when touched it will only attack specific memories." 

who would use my bear to get rid of my memories? i think to myself. what memories would they even want to rid me of?

the headmaster continues to inspect it, prodding it with his wand. 

"please be gentle with it," i beg," it's the only thing i have left of my parents." his eyes are soft when they meet mine. 

"of course." he clears his throat. "you go back to your dorm and get some rest, i'll return this bear when i have the chance." i nod at him, still trying to absorb what he's told me. 

cursed. 

someone cursed my teddy bear. 

someone wanted to curse me. 

is almost unfathomable. my head is foggy as i walk back to the dorm. silently, i thank malfoy for his intuition.


	26. t w e n t y f o u r

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning:   
> mention of sexual assault

that night i’m barely able to sleep, i lay awake overthinking every interaction i’ve had within the past week. nothing makes sense to me, everything’s all wrong. 

the day is hazy, everything the professors say go in one ear and out the other. i’m just glad that i have jules by my side for all of it. she takes extra diligent notes, writing small tidbits in the margins so that i can understand it when i go over them later. it’s the last class before we break for lunch, muggle studies. it seems to be just my luck that we have almost all of our classes with slytherin. 

blaise gives me concerned looks from across the class where he sits with theo and draco. merlin, i can’t even look at him. he looks empty, completely void of any emotion. it’s a real surprise that he actually showed up today. his face is healing nicely however, and blaise is on friendly terms with him once again. i’m glad, i hope draco talks to him.

of course, it’s my luck that draco and i happen to be the last ones in the class. even professor burbage has left for the great hall. he’s taking his time gathering his belongings, moving sluggishly as he does so. after tucking my quill into my bag i make the decision to approach him. 

he doesn’t even look up at me while he speaks. “i said,” he pauses, as if talking takes up too much energy. “leave me the fuck alone,” his voice is venomous. i stand my ground against him. 

“how did you know about the bear?” draco freezes at that, staring blankly ahead. i quirk up an eyebrow even though he’s not looking at me. he turns ever so slightly, just so that i can see the side of his face. he seems to have gotten paler, the fading bruises contrasting greatly against his skin. 

he sneers, closing his eyes as he speaks. “get the fuck away from me!” he shouts, bringing a fist down onto the table in front of us. i jump slightly at it, taken aback by the sudden outburst. 

draco leaves first, leaving me cowering in the classroom by myself. i take a moment to gather myself, not wanting anyone to see how shaken up i am. i inhale deeply through my nose before exhaling through my mouth. i got this. 

i exit the muggle studies classroom with my head held high. the hallway is deserted as i head toward the great hall. suddenly, i’m pushed against the wall by a strong hand. my eyes dart up and i come face to face with marcus flint. 

“hey baby,” he purrs, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. i cringe as i try to free myself from his grasp. his grip around my arm tightens. 

i whimper in pain, “that hurts.” i keep my gaze down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. 

“aw,” he just out his bottom lip to feign a pout. “little venus is sad.” he uses his free hand to grasp my chin, forcing us to make eye contact. “how many days did it take malfoy to get into your pants?” he asks, smirking evilly. “c’mon baby, answer me.” he’s getting more aggressive, his grip on my chin tightens. 

he tuts slightly, starting deep into my eyes. “and he just threw you to the side after,” his look reigns sadness, but his eyes show his malicious intent. “i wouldn’t do that to you, venus. no, i’d keep you around for a bit.” he leans in so that his nose brushes against mine. i struggle in his grasp for a few moments, it’s hopeless. 

i hear the sound of footsteps approaching and i count my lucky stars. thank god, i think. it’s draco, i silently thank the gods that this is over, i can just go and eat lunch now. but draco has other plans, he scoffs as he sees me pushed up against the wall by flint. 

“nice rebound, zabini.” i don’t miss the anger that flashes in his eyes.

draco doesn’t help me. he continues on his way, not once turning back. 

“see, i even have his blessing.” marcus’ hand travels down ever so slightly, so that he’s caressing my throat. i close my eyes in fear. this cannot be happening. 

“don’t be scared,” he whispers, pushing my arm against the wall harder. his grip is tight enough to leave bruises, i’m sure it will. 

“stop!” i yell after finally gaining the courage. his hand darts up from my neck to cover my mouth. i can hear the blood rushing in my ears. fuck. hot tears stream down my face, they’re stopped by flints hand. he chuckles as he feels them. he freezes when he hears the sound of voices coming from the hall. he doesn’t have enough time to hide, and he knows what it looks like. 

soon enough, theo and jules both come into view, seemingly lost in their own conversation. the tears come faster now, and i have never been more grateful for them. 

“hey!” i hear theos voice echo through the hall as marcus lets go of me, letting me fall to the floor in a heap. jules rushes over to me as theo chases after marcus. she crouches down so that we’re at eye level

“hey venus,” she whispers, trying to keep her voice as soft as she can. “you’re alright. come on.” she places her arm under my shoulder, pulling me up off the ground. 

“draco walked by,” i stutter out. jules tries to calm me down by stroking my back, rubbing it in small circles. “he didn’t do anything, jules.” i sob, thinking of what could have happened if it weren’t for theo and jules. 

—

a/n  
i really just want to thank you guys for all the support it really means so much :)


	27. t w e n t y f i v e

theo carries me on his back to the hufflepuff common room, i'm completely drained. my body aches and i feel like if one more inconvenience happens i'll just shut down. i cannot handle another let down. 

the common room is alive with noise when we enter, everyone seems to be freaking out. i'm only able to catch tidbits of conversation here and there, all out of order. 

"the dementors-" my head snaps around to try to find whoever's talking, but all the conversations just merge together. i place my hands on the neck of theo's shoulders and push gently, signalling to him to let me down. 

i stand at the edge of the stairs, trying to listen in on the closest conversation. 

"-escaped, i mean that's just irresponsible." the guy speaking scoffs, throwing his hands in the air exasperatedly. he continues shortly after. "what happened to it being the most highly surveillance's prison?" i can't take it anymore, i need to know what's wrong. i take a few steps forward and tap him on the shoulder. 

i don't recognize his face, he has dark brown eyes and mousey hair, he looks to be in about fourth year. "what's everyone talking about?" i ask him. 

his eyebrows shoot up at my question. 

"you- you don't know?" he stutter out in shock. i shake my head, my stomach sinks in worry. "bellatrix lestrange's cell was found empty." my jaw drops when i hear the news. there's no way that's possible. azkaban has dementors, they're on a secluded island for merlins sake. 

"how do you know?" i ask, hoping that he's just playing a twisted trick on me. 

"dumbledore announced it at lunch, were you not there?" he asks, tilting his head slightly. oh gods. i'm gonna be sick. i turn hastily to rush up the stairs, i hear theo and jules both running behind me. i push the door to our dorm open and make a b-line for the washroom. i kneel over the toilet, clutchng the sides in my clammy hands. i sit and retch over it for who knows how long, nothing comes out. i haven't eaten much lately. jules pets my hair gently as i gag over the toilet, comforting me to the best of her ability. 

there's only one thing on my mind right now: draco. it took only seconds for me to put the pieces together in my head. merlin, i can't imagine how this is affecting him. with one final wipe of my mouth i shakily stand, dusting off my knees as i do so. 

"i uh- i'd like to sleep." i make my way toward my dresser, grabbing out a forest green sweater and a pair of black shorts. i look over my shoulder, watching as theo kisses jules goodbye. i feel a lang in my heart, i know that it's jealousy. i'm jealous that they have what i want. 

i change quickly once theo leaves, trying to think of an excuse to tell jules. my eyes light up slightly when i find a way out. 

"i'm gonna go down to the kitchens," i tell her, looking over to where she's sitting on her bed, lazily flicking her wand to conjure a miniature storm. 

"want me to come?" she asks, adding some lightning to her storm. i shake my head lightly.

"no, it's best if i go alone. to clear my head." my voice is soft, i hope she believes me. she gives me a small, comforting smile before focusing back on her small, grey clouds. 

i push through the crowded common room, trying my best to block out everyone's conversation. i'm riddled with anxiety as i walk toward the slytherin common room, the closer i get the faster i walk. by the time i'm rounding the last few corners i've broken out into a full on sprint. 

i bang on the entrance impatiently. merlin, they really should just give me the password. 

this time it's pansy who opens the door. she stares down at me, seemingly in shock of a hufflepuff standing in front of her. i shove past her, knocking my shoulder against hers as i run by. i rush up the stairs leading to the boys dormitory, searching for dracos room. 

"alohomora." i bring my wand up to his door, it unlocks and slowly creaks open. once i slip through i shut it behind me. luckily for me, theo must've had other plans because he's nowhere in sight. 

dracos eyes are closed as he lays on his bed. 

"hello," is all he says before standing up and looking out the window, watching the giant squid float around in the green water. his eyes never once glanced at me. 

"glad you're here." he blindly reaches his hand onto his nightstand, he grabs a quill and a loose piece of parchment. he places them on the ledge of the window, writing without looking at it. once he's finished he hands it to me, keeping his gaze glued to the window. 

i assume you've heard?  
kick the ground once for yes, and twice for no

i scoff slightly, what is he playing at? however, i'll take whatever communication i can get. i stomp my foot down once. 

he reaches his hand out for the paper, i pass it back to him. he scratches the quill against it once again. he passes it back. 

i can't look at you  
aunt bella will use whatever it takes to finish this  
if she uses legilemency on me and sees you in my memories she will kill you.  
stay away from me, please.  
stomp once if you understand. 

the writing blurs together, messy and hard to read.  
i can't understand, yet i can't risk it. i stomp my foot once more, feeling defeated. i take a step closer to him. 

"don't look at my face, i haven't any makeup on." i lie, knowing that i'm safe as long as he doesn't look at my face. i link my pinky with his, giving it a small squeeze before turning around and leaving.


	28. t w e n t y s i x

that night in my dorm i don't get a wink of sleep. i couldn't, not with everything that's happening. i know that dracos obviously hurting, he needs me to be there for him. but how am i supposed to be there for him when he can't see my face? 

when the idea hits me i shoot up in my bed. i reach under my pillow and grasp blindly for my wand. 

"lumos," i mumble. light pours out of my wand, just enough for me to see my bedside table. on the surface lays a quill and paper. i quickly pick up the quill and place the paper on my lap. i devise my plan; it's not the greatest, but it will work. it should work. 

fuck, i hope it works. 

once i'm happy with what i've written, i tear the paper into pieces, placing them in a neat pile in the drawer of my nightstand. i exhale deeply, feeling a bit calmer. 

☆

i rush to muggle studies the next day, praying that i make it there before draco. i sigh in relief when i see that his seats empty. 

i reach into the pocket of my robe, pulling out the paper that i place in there earlier. i fold it in half and place it on his desk before retreating to my own. 

i watch as draco enters the classroom, he's careful as to not look my way as he reads the note. 

you

the paper reads. i watch him as he tries to decipher the word, his eyes squinting with confusion. 

☆

in care of magical creatures i ensure that i'm standing beside draco as hagrid feeds the baby antipodean opaleye. i kneel down and feign tying my shoes. while doing so, i grab the next note out of my pocket, slipping it into dracos shoe. i tap my finger against his ankle once to let him know that it's there. 

could

this not reads, he'll choose to read it later. 

☆

during dinner i feel elated, my plan is absolutely foolproof. i fold up the next note into a pepper crane before levitating it towards the slytherin table. i drop it on blaise's head, draco watches from across from him as blaise opens it. 

act

i see blaise say aloud, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. he shrugs, throwing the paper over his shoulder. 

☆

i see draco standing outside of the muggle studies classroom before i enter. 

"zabini," he sneers. it doesn't matter whether he's a git to my face, as long as he doesn't show any sort of weakness. 

draco must understand a bit of my plan, as he waits a few minutes before entering the classroom. 

the note i placed reads:

as if

☆

it takes a week for me to deliver the rest of the notes, in the end they read:

you could act as if you hate me when in public, just don't look at me in private. 

the final note is more cryptic, i pray that he gets it. the parchment is covered with poorly drawn stars and planets, as well at '8pm' scrawled in the bottom corner. 

☆

by six o'clock im anxiously pacing in my room, picking at my cuticles. today i decided to wear a periwinkle dress that hugs my body nicely, it's a shame draco won't be able to see all of me. 

"dude, just go already," jules voice floats from across the room. "you act like he's not gonna show up two hours early anyways, you might as well be there together." i huff, she's always right. 

the halls are deserted as i make my way toward the astronomy tower, i try to keep my footsteps light so as to not gain the attention of any professors. 

the stairs up to the tower seem like they never end, but that might just be my anxiety talking. when i finally reach the top i exhale; the view never ceases to amaze me. 

dracos sitting against a pillar over to my right, he was prepared. he faces away from the entranceway, looking down over hogsmeade. a take a seat beside him, conjuring a blanket to cover us. the snow is starting to melt at hogwarts, i can see the giant squid trying to break the thick layer of ice that covers the lake. 

i hear the sound of scratching on paper before i see draco writing. he passes over a note. 

we can talk, just as long as we don't  
talk about you know what

i smile at his note, unsure of what to say. i'm not sure if there's any words that could convey how i feel. 

i sympathize for him, and i'm also angry at him. everything he's done he's done to protect me, and i'm unbelievably grateful for him. yet i'm so pissed at him too. 

instead of talking, i place a smack upside the back of his head. he chuckles softly, rubbing at it gently. 

"i guess i deserved that," his voice is deep and rough. i decide i can't wait any longer. before i can do anything rash, he speaks. 

"close your eyes," he whispers. i nod my head gently, letting them flutter shut. nothing happens for a moment, i'm about to peek when i feel his hand cup my chin. his thumb rests softly against my cheek, i feel the cool metal of his rings test against the crook of my neck. 

he slots our lips together, sighing softly as he glided our lips together. i take the lead, nipping softly at his bottom lip. he chuckles in disbelief before nipping back, tugging on my bottom lip. i gasp softly and he slips his tongue into my mouth. 

"i've missed you," he mumbles against my lips before pulling away. i gasp as i'm struck with an idea. 

"keep your eyes shut." i pull back so that we're face to face. he can't look at me, but that doesn't mean i can't look at him. 

i push his shoulders back against the wall, throwing my leg over his lap so that i'm straddling him. he's skinnier than usual, his face seems extra pointy. i trace my thumb over his cheekbone, feeling it jut out against my skin. there's deep dark circles under his eyes, he hasn't been sleeping much. i trail my hand upward and tangle it in his hair. his hair was once shiny and soft, it's now brittle and dull. i want to cry for him, knowing that whatever's happening with his aunt must be killing him. 

i sigh, leaning my head forward and tucking it into the crook of his neck. inhaling, i'm met with the comforting scent of mint and green apples. 

fuck, i've missed him.


	29. t w e n t y s e v e n

draco has a hat pulled down low over his face, covering his silver eyes. his arms are wrapped around my body, pulling me in close. our legs are tangled up in one another, his foot moving in small circles on the bare skin of my ankle. 

it's friday night, dracos going home for the weekend. dumbledore's given him access to the floo on saturday and sunday, allowing for him to go home and visit the manor. i try to push the thought of this away, not wanting to think about him leaving. i'm not sure what awaits for him at home, but whatever it is it mustn't be good. 

there's a slight glow to his cheeks as he leans down to press a fleeting kiss to my forehead. 

"i think my eyes are sweating, this fucking hat is so hot," he grumbles, rubbing the hat with his palm. i chuckle at him. 

"that's called crying, draco." he sticks his tongue out at me, scrunching up his nose— or at least what i can see of it. he flicks my ear gently, grumbling nonsense into the crown of my head. 

"malfoy's don't cry," he mumbles. i want to think that he's joking, but underneath i know that there's a sense of truth to it. he's afraid of emotions, afraid of the power that they hold over him. 

"alright," i let him win this, not wanting to say anything would be incriminating if bellatrix were to look through his memories. i feel him softly exhale from under me, nuzzling his nose against my hair as he does so. 

"you know who does cry?" he asks, sounding almost serious for once. 

"hm?"

"hufflepuffs." i scoff and smack his chest before freezing. fuck. what happened to nothing incriminating. that's just one hint toward my identity, she has a piece of the puzzle now. 

"i think you should go," his voice is soft, but there's an underlying edge to it. i nod gently, pressing a small kiss against his lips. 

"bye, draco."

it's barely even a full day without draco at hogwarts, yet somehow it feels like a lifetime. jules spends almost every waking moment with theo, so it's almost as though she's gone too. i do well though, i don't crack under the pressure. i don't lay in bed at night overthinking. 

that's a lie. 

i totally spend the night overthinking. almost all of my thoughts consist of draco. i worry about him, about his health and his family. 

i overthink every aspect of bellatrix's escape. where is she staying? why can't they find her? 

obviously the ministry must be looking for her, is she disguising herself? azkaban would have confiscated her wand, so there's no way that this was a one man plan. dracos father. 

from what little i know about dracos family, i know that he despises his father. he's always called him a coward, said that he was a follower. lucius could never form a thought of his own, let alone an opinion. he could be it. he could very well be bellatrix's accomplice. 

but what can i do with that information? this is dracos family that i'm talking about, his very own flesh and blood. i can't do anything with it, instead i have to hope that the aurors are connecting the dots themselves. 

draco arrives around noon on sunday. there's a slight limp to his step as he walks out of dumbledore's office. i watch from around a corner, he walks the other way. his pale skin is almost transluscent, there's barely any colour to it at all. i know that whatever transpired this weekend couldn't have been good. 

the short glimpse i was able to get of him made my heart sink. i could see the shimmering affect of a glamour being used, most likely to cover bruises. his hands were shaky by his side, seemingly vibrating. his walk was sluggish, he stumbled out of dumbledore's office as if he were injured. 

i follow him, keeping a safe distance in between the two of us. he’s slow, his limp obviously slowing him down. his breathing is rugged, his shoulders rise and fall unevenly. occasionally he winces while breathing, as if it pains him too much. 

i stop dead in my tracks as i put all the pieces together. he’s been crucio’d. i cover my mouth with my palm, stifling the gasp that threatens to spill out. draco went home, and he came back in indescribable pain. the bruises that scatter themselves across his skin, the slight tremble to his hands. everything makes sense. 

i feel my legs shake beneath me, i need to sit down. i lower myself down gently, not wanting to make too much noise as draco rounds the corner. ones he’s finally out of sight i let it out. i keep my hand over my mouth, muffling the loud sobs that rack my body. 

they tortured him. 

he went home, and they tortured him.


	30. t w e n t y e i g h t

after a few moments of shock i lift myself off the floor, dusting off my robes lightly. i feel a whirlwind of emotions, each hitting me stronger than the one before. i’m distraught; i fear for dracos wellbeing. it seems as though he’s slipping away before my eyes. i’m also fucking pissed. i’m angry that i can’t protect him from the hurt, and i’m angry that the aurors haven’t caught on. i can’t turn them in, draco believes that family is everything, even if family doesn’t have his best interest in mind. but i think most of all i’m scared. i’m scared for what the future holds for draco, scared of not knowing what’s eating away at him. 

i break into a run down the corridor, heading straight to the slytherin common room. by a stroke of luck i run into blaise leaving the room. 

“woah, hey.” his hands grab my shoulders gently, he looks down at my tear soaked face. “what’s wrong?” his voice is gentle as he holds me in place. 

“i need to see draco,” i mumble, attempting to push past him. he tightens his grip on my shoulders, biting his lip in thought. 

“the password is ‘veela’, by the way,” his hand lingers comfortingly, and i smile lightly up at him. 

“thank you,” my voice is barely above a whisper. he smiles back before heading down the corridor. 

“veela.” the common room pries open, seemingly taking forever. 

once there’s enough room i slip through, running up the stairs toward the boys dormitory. i run past theo in my rush, i almost slam into him but i’m able to dodge him at the last second. 

the rooms empty when i enter. within seconds draco emerges from the bathroom. his eyes flicker up to meet mine, but quickly shoot back down before he can reach my face

“go back to your dorm,” his voice is weak, it cracks ever so slightly. 

“draco, come here.” i make my way to his bed, conjuring an ice pack as i sit down. he walks with his eyes downcast, trailing his left leg behind. to anyone else it would barely be noticeable, but i know him. 

“close your eyes.” his eyes flutter shut, his pale blonde eyelashes framing his cheeks. i grab his wrist, flipping his arm so that it’s palm up. i place the covered ice pack in his hand and raise it up to the large bruise on his temple. his hand shakes from the weight of it.

“stay here,” i whisper. i get up and head to the bathroom to rummage through his cabinets. i find everything that i’m looking for: bandages, antiseptic, as well as a roll of gauze. 

by the time i leave the bathroom draco’s flopped back against the bed. i frown, knowing that his whole body must be aching. 

“i’m back,” i announce, just in case his eyes were open. the corner of his lip quirks up into a small smile as he feels the bed dip beside him. 

i wipe his face gently, disinfecting the cuts that are scattered across his face. there’s one that i spend extra time with, it’s a gash along his cheekbone. this ones thicker than the rest, slightly deeper too. he winces when i dab around it, cleaning off the dirt. 

“sorry,” i mumble, lost in my thoughts. 

“s’okay.” he sighs heavily and allows me to finish cleaning his cuts. once they’re all clean i place bandages on them. i need two to cover the cut on his cheek. 

it hurts to see him like this, but i know that it must hurt him more. 

i crouch down on the ground to inspect his ankle, suspecting that that’s why he’s limping. when i see his right ankle i know that my suspicions were correct. it’s swollen on one side, and almost purple in colour. i cringe when i see it, it must hurt like hell. 

i learned how to wrap ankles a few years ago, i had to. blaise was getting hit with trip-jinxes almost daily, he didn’t want to worry mum so he came to me instead. it’s second nature to me now, my hand moves from memory as i wrap his ankle snugly. i’m just about done when draco speaks up. 

“i want you to listen to me,” he says, purposely avoiding my name. “go home. i don’t care what excuse you have to make up, i need you to leave.” his eyes remain glued shut as he talks. i get up off the floor after finishing with his ankle, taking a seat beside him on the bed. 

“no,” i almost laugh. “i’m not leaving you here. whatever happens will happen whether or not i’m here, i’d rather be by your side during it.”

“fuck, you’re insufferable!” his shouts, clenching his fists by his side. “can’t listen to a simple instruction, can you?” he brings his hands up to rub forcefully at his eyes. 

“nope.” i grab one of his hands, tearing it away from his eyes. i fumble with it, twirling around the rings that cover his fingers with my own. 

“go fucking home!” his whole body trembles as he shouts. “fuck, i don’t know how many times i need to say it,” his voice cracks at the end. 

“i’m not going anywhere draco,” i whisper, bringing his hand up to my mouth so that i can place small kisses to it. 

i’m not looking at him when i notice that he’s crying. his body is wracking with sobs as he lays against the bed. 

“draco-” i start, but i’m cut off before i can finish. 

“i can’t lose you,” he mumbles out, his voice barely above a whisper. i sigh softly at him, bringing my free hand up to push his hair out of his eyes. 

“you’re not going to, git.” i see his eyes crinkle slightly at the edges, hopefully with a smile. 

“it’s all gonna be fine,” i lay down beside him. “i’ll make sure of it.”


	31. t w e n t y n i n e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexual content

draco and i sit in relative silence, neither of us wanting to break the bubble that we’ve created. he lays there with his hat over his eyes and i can’t help but miss them. i miss looking at his eyes. i miss him looking at me privately, when we didn’t have to worry about anyone else interrupting. 

as awful as it sounds i miss seeing the anger in his eyes. i used to hate it, but i grew soft for it. his eyes were always squinted in a sneer, as if everyone were below him. except for when we were together. and fuck i miss not worrying about it. 

“sit up,” i say as i sit up myself, crossing my legs on the bed. he lets out a small huff before pushing himself up. i watch his rings flint as his hands entangle themselves in the sheets. he clears his throat awkwardly, and i realize that he can’t see me. i feel a pang in my heart. he can’t see the way that i watch him as if he’s the only thing in the world. he can’t see the way that my eyes follow every movement of every muscle. 

i don’t think, i just act. i lean forward quickly and tear the hat off his head. 

dracos eyes blink heavily at mine as he adjusts to the light. the rage that i missed so much fills his eyes, and for a moment i’m happy. 

then everything crashes down. 

his hair is tussled in every which way, seemingly standing up on the edges. 

“what the fuck did you do?” he shouts. i try not to let it phase me. he rests his eyes in the palm of his hands, he’s gone completely silent. 

“it was gonna happen eventually. i want her to know that i want to help.” my voice sounds meek and unconvincing. under his hands i see his lips quirk down in a scowl. 

“everything i’ve done.” he takes a slow inhale through his nose before continuing. “has been for your own safety. you had to go and fuck it up?” it sounds like a question, but i know that he doesn’t want me to answer. “shit, venus!” he gets to us feet and begins to pace the dorm. “what the fuck were you thinking?” his hands are clenched into fists at his side, his knuckles blanche. 

“i told you, i want to help” my voice is stronger now. “whatever she wants, i’ll do it.”

his hand makes contact with the wall. the wall must be charmed because it doesn’t leave a scratch, yet dracos knuckles are bleeding immediately. 

“no, you will not.” his voice is too calm. “you are not to have anything to do with this.” the rage in his eyes swirls around, his once silver eyes are almost black. 

“i will.” i nod my head, crossing my arms. “what’re you gonna do? stop me?” he groans and throws his head back. 

“you are fucking insufferable! everything that i’ve done was for your own protection.” he collapses on the bed. “merlin, you don’t know what you’re doing,” his voice is barely above a whisper. 

i decide to keep my distance for now, not wanting him to lash out. 

“i do.” i pull my knees in toward my chest, resting my chin on top of them. 

i dont. i have absolutely no idea what i’m doing. i made this plan up three seconds before it occurred, i barely knew what i was doing. 

“fine.” his voice breaks ever so slightly, i don’t have to look at him to tell that he’s crying. “you can partake. but i am the one to complete the task.” he doesn’t elaborate on what the task is, my mind races with ideas. 

i know very little about bellatrix, really. she was a death eater, whether she’s reformed or not; i’m not sure. she’s clinically insane, that is a fact. 

that’s it. that’s the extent of my knowledge of bellatrix lestrange. 

“what’s the task?” i finally bring myself to ask. 

“you’ll know soon enough.” cryptic, how fun, i think. once i think that he’s calmed down enough for me to comfort him i scoot down the bed, alerting him when the bed dips ever so slightly. 

“i can’t believe you,” is all he says before turning around and wrapping his arms around me. he’s still pissed, i can feel it. but this is better than nothing.

he places open mouthed kisses along my neck, sucking at my pulse point. i close my eyes at that, wrapping my legs around his back so he can slit his legs between mine. 

“i cannot fucking believe you.” his teeth graze against the crook of my neck, nipping slightly at the soft skin. i let out a small whimper, wanting more. he brings a hand up to my jaw, holding my chin in place. his eyes are dark and hungry when they meet mine. fuck, i’ve missed his eyes. he swoops in quickly, slotting our lips together as if they’re made for one another. he grind his hips against mine suddenly. i gasp into his mouth, giving him access. his tongue swipes its way in, meeting my tongue in my mouth. i moan into his mouth, sending vibrations through us as his tongue glide against my teeth. 

his hand slowly trains from my chin down onto my throat, encasing itself around my neck. he nips my bottom lip before pulling away. 

“merlin, you can never be good. can you?” he asks, his voice deep. i shut my eyes, shaking my head no. the grip on my neck tightens and i feel him lean in closer. “use your words.”

“no,” i choke out. 

“see, it’s not that hard to be good.” he throws my cloths off of my hastily, discarding them across the room. 

“get on your knees,” he says as i’m fully naked. i know i’m soaked already, i don’t even need to check. i nod quickly as i sink to the floor. draco brings his feet to either side of me, leaving me face to face with his clothed cock. 

“go on,” he drawls lazily. i look up at him through my lashes. his hair is tussled messily, and his cheeks have a fine layer of pink across them. merlin his eyes, they’re black with lust. he brings his bottom lip into his mouth to suck on it, waiting for me to start. i bring my hands up and fumble with his belt, finally throwing it to the side after a minute. my fingers work quickly to undo his buttons, i feel my stomach coil every time i pop another open. 

he lifts his hips and pushes his pants down to his ankles. my mouth waters at the sight of his bulge. i suck my bottom lip into my mouth after whimpering. i hook my fingers into the waistband of his boxers, exposing his leaking cock. he inhaled sharply through his nose, looking down at me through hooded eyes. 

his fingers card through my hair, tugging gently at the roots. a moan spills out of my mouth at that and my eyes shoot open. dracos staring down at me with a smirk on his face. after a few seconds of regaining composure i wrap my fingers around his base. i watch as precum dribbles out of his tip as i pump slowly. his grip tightens in my hair. 

“don’t tease.” i nod quickly, mumbling a small apology. i flick my wrist as i reach the top, collecting the sticky precum in my palm. hesitantly, i lean forward and lick the tip, swirling my tongue around it lightly. draco groans at that, throwing his head back as he does. i take that as a good sign and lean back in. my hand continues to pump around his base as i take his tip into my mouth. it’s salty and the weight on my tongue makes me see stars. i moan around him, loving the feeling of him in my mouth. 

“so good at taking cock,” draco mumbles out. “fuck. such a good cockslut.” his eyes are closed now, his mouth hangs open ever so slightly. i bob my head, wanting to get as much of his thick cock into my mouth as possible. my hand meets my fist at the bottom and i force my hand away. i want to take all of him. i gag slightly, causing draco to let out a low moan. i breathe sharply through my nose, pushing my head further down. i feel his cock hit the back of my throat, tears fill my eyes. 

“such a good whore for me.” i moan, sending vibrations up his cock. i feel it twitch in my mouth and i can’t help but look up at him. his grip on my hair returns as he guides me up and down his length. 

“fuck- so fucking close,” he grunts, fucking himself into my mouth. i rub my thighs together lightly, feeling the need to touch myself. i push my head back against dracos hand, he lets go to let me off. 

“cum on my face,” i pant. i watch as his free hand clutches at the blanket. he nods quickly as i return my hand to his cock. i jerk him quickly, licking one last strip up the length of him before i stick out my tongue. 

“fuck.” i barely remember to close my eyes. his cum splatters across my face with a groan. i flutter my eyes open, they feel heavy. he swipes two fingers across my cheek, collecting his cum. he trails them down my face before pushing them into my mouth. i suck them clean, lapping my tongue around his digits. 

he clean the rest with a flick of his wand. his eyes are still dark as he looks at me. 

“get on the bed.” i nod, getting onto the bed as fast as i can. he settles between my feet, nudging my thighs apart with his large hand. i shiver at the feeling of his rings against my sensitive skin. 

he bites at the skin of my inner thigh, trailing open mouthed kisses to my soaking heat. he plunges his tongue in, collecting my wetness on his tongue. he trails it up my cunt until he reaches my clit. heat swirls in the pit of my stomach as he circles his tongue around it, lapping at it. 

i buck my hips up as he hits exactly the right spot. i feel him smirk against my cunt before he dives back in. his tongue works in circles around my clit. slowly he brings up two fingers, pushing his ring finger into my tight cunt. i whimper, feeling the coil in me tighten. 

“please,” i moan as he puts more pressure on my clit while perfectly curling his fingers. i see stars and my thighs tremble, fuck he’s good at this. 

“draco- please, i need-” i cut myself off with a moan. he picks up his pace, rubbing my clit in small circles with his tongue and i can’t hold it back. i feel the coil in me snap as white hot pleasure rolls over my body. 

“you’re the dumbest person i know,” he whispers as he kisses my thigh.


	32. t h i r t y

the days leading up to the weekend draco barely lets me out of his sight. 

we’re standing off to the side in care of magical creatures, seemingly in our own little bubble. his hand brushes against mine, just light enough for me to feel it, yet not bold enough for anyone else to notice. 

draco cares for me, i know that much. for him, our ‘relationship’ is private, it’s not anyone else’s business. i appreciate it, even if it means that he’s overprotective of me. 

he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him when he realizes who’s beside me. flint. he pushes me along until i’m on the other side of him. his hand hovers on my hip as he stares down marcus, dracos signature sneer plasters itself on his face. i smile softly at the action, knowing that he’d do whatever he needed to in order to protect me. 

i try to focus on the lesson. hagrid went out of his way to show us a baby abraxan today, they’re one of my favourite animals. yet no matter what, i can’t seem to focus. my mind keeps wandering off into places i can’t control. 

it’s friday, meaning that dracos going back to the manor tonight. 

ever since i ripped the hat off of dracos head we haven’t talked about the future. i think he’s scared, truly. he knows that bellatrix will use legilimency on him, exposing the nature of our relationship. i curl my toes inside my shoes in an attempt to ground myself. i can’t let myself think about the unknown. the future is prewritten, i can’t change it. slowly, i exhale, letting everything out. i can’t let draco know that i’m scared. i can’t be scared. 

hagrid dismisses us with a booming goodbye, wishing us all a safe and happy weekend. if only he knew what was going on behind closed doors. 

draco and i take our time walking back to the castle. we walk along the lake, draco kicks the occasional pebble. 

“the manor may request your presence.” he breaks the silence, peering at me out of the corner of his eye. 

“okay.” i nod my head, wanting him to know that i’m confident in my plan. “don’t worry about it.” i lean up on my toes to place a kiss to his pale cheeks. they’re cold, like always. 

the snows almost gone on the school grounds, there are puddles that linger between our feet. draco nods his head, although it seems that he’s trying to convince himself more than hes trying to convince me. 

“come on,” i say, reaching my hand out to interlock our pinkies. the corner of his mouth quirks up into a smile as we make our way back to the castle. 

i walk with him to his dorm, wanting to wish him goodbye when he leaves. we pass theo on our way up the stairs. his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he sees us walk hand-in-hand to the dorm, he shoots us a wink before continuing on his way. draco rolls his eyes and lets out a small laugh. 

it hits me suddenly; i miss seeing him laugh. i miss when he was carefree. 

i shake my head to clear myself of my thoughts. dracos door opens with a ‘click’ , he pushes the door open and motions for me to go inside. 

“oh no, lady’s first,” i say, gesturing for him to go in. his eyes light up as he smiles. fuck he’s gorgeous. 

“fuck off,” he chuckles as he talks, not meaning his harsh words. i smile up at him as i walk into the room. he shuts the door behind him and makes his way to his trunk. 

“i don’t really need anything from here,” he admits, looking out the window into the lake. i come to stand by his side. his arms loop around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest. he lowers his head down, resting his chin on my shoulders. 

“your chins pointy,” i mumble, turning my head so that i can see him. he rolls his eyes at me and places a kiss to my temple. 

“whatever happens this weekend, know that i feel the same way about you.” i scrunch my face up in confusion. 

“nothing bad will happen, draco,” i try to console him, but i don’t know if i believe the words i’m saying. he brings his bottom lip into his mouth to toy with it distractingly. seemingly zoned out he nods his head. 

“i’ve got to go.” he lowers his head down to press a kiss to the junction where my neck meets my shoulders. his arms unravel themselves from me as i nod, knowing that he’s right. he can’t leave her waiting. 

“i’ll walk you,” i walk over to his dresser as if i own the place, grabbing out a black jumper from his drawers. his eyebrows are pinched, yet amusement is clear in his eyes. i shrug it on over my shirt, loving the way that it surrounds me. 

we can’t dawdle on our way to the floo, he’s already later than he should be.

outside of dumbledore’s office he brings his hand up to cup my chin. his thumb strokes my cheek gently, assuring me that everything will be alright. 

without another word, he turns and opens the door, leaving me behind. 

it’s barely been twenty-four hours since draco left, and dumbledore’s already calling me down to his office. 

“i wouldn’t summon you if it wasn’t urgent, the malfoy’s floo is rarely active, and they’ve requested your presence,” his voice is deep and slightly scratchy from use. i bite my lip, unsure of what i’m going to be facing when i reach the manor. 

“i’m sure it’ll be okay, headmaster,” i say as i make my way toward the floo. i scoop up the powder with my hand, i hear as some falls to the ground, leaving a dusty appearance. 

“i’m sure it will be too, ms, tugwood-zabini.” his smile is gentle, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“malfoy manor,” my voice shakes slightly as i drop the powder and am engulfed in green flames. 

once the smoke clears the flashbacks come flooding back. i haven’t been here since the new years party. while everything looks the same, i can feel the dark magic seeping off of the walls. i struggle to catch my breath as my eyes meet hers. she’s sitting over in the love seat, a sick smile dawning her face. her hair is just as wild as the pictures on the daily prophet show. 

i swallow down my fear as i take a step forward, not wanting her to think that i’m weak. 

“crucio!” is all i hear before im brought to my knees with pain.


	33. t h i r t y o n e

the pain is immediately blinding. i feel everything, yet nothing at the same time. i’m overwhelmed by the twisting of my muscles, the burning of my skin and the bile rising in my throat. my knees curl into my chest instinctively in order to protect myself. my vision is barely there, i can only see shadows and lights as i’m being crucio’d. even with what little vision i have, i can still make out dracos silhouette standing beside the chair where bellatrix resides. 

it seems like it goes on for hours, but it most likely was under a minute. she finally finished her cast, i feel myself suck in a shuddering breath. i can’t seem weak, i think. i push myself up off the floor on shaky arms. 

“bellatrix,” i nod my head as i greet her. my eyes shoot over to draco for a split second, he looks awful, his knees look like they’re about to buckle at any moment. 

she hums, taking short strides until she’s standing in front of me. she traces her wand across my jawline, not breaking eye contact. 

“tugwood,” she trails off. “pure blood, yes?” i nod my head, breathing in sharply through my nose. “and baby wants in on the games?” her tone is condescending as she twirls her wand in my hair. 

“yes,” i finally find my voice. 

“oh!” she exclaims, looking around the room in mock shock. “she speaks.” her eyes are wild when they meet mine again. 

she turns on her heel suddenly and heads toward draco. she whispers something that i can’t make out, but i watch as his face scrunches up in disgust. he drops his eyes down and shakes his head gently. from what i can see she looks taken aback. 

“fine, i’ll do it.” she turns again and points her wand at me. “crucio.” the words roll off her tongue as if they’re nothing. i try to keep myself up for as long as i can, but the pain forces me to collapse. i can feel myself screaming, but i can’t hear anything but ringing. 

after seemingly getting bored, bellatrix finally lets up. the light pouring out from her wand ceases, and she leaves the room with a wicked grin on her face. it’s only when she’s completely out of sight that draco comes to my side. he places a hand on my elbow, helping me stand up. my knees are shaky beneath me. 

“come on,” his voice is soft as he brings me up the stairs of the manor. 

fuck, why are there so many stairs?

dracos bedroom is the first room on the left, it’s large with hints of green. a large bookshelf adorns the far corner, filled head to toe with hardcover books.   
they’re separated by genre, starting with arithmancy and ending with the wizarding wireless network on the bottom right corner. his bed sits in the middle of the room, with the bed frame pushed up against the wall. his sheets are obviously satin, they’re solid grey. 

he keeps his grip on my elbow until we reach the bed. he lowers me down gently, making sure that i’m as comfortable as possible. my body feels numb, i can barely feel the sheets below my body. draco leaves to his en-suite, whether or not he tells me he’s going there i’m unsure of. my eyes shut on their own accord, it’s too tiresome to keep them open. 

i’m jolted back to the presence when i feel the burn on my wounds. dracos disinfecting them the muggle way. he tears open a new antiseptic wipe to dab at the gash above my eyebrow. i don’t remember getting cut there, i must’ve hit my head when i fell. he places a bandage over it, his eyes are masked as he does so. i know that he’s angry. he’s angry at me for revealing myself to bellatrix, and he’s angry at bellatrix for involving me. i get it, i was in his place just last week. 

he motions for me to scoot up the bed with the nod of his head. i try to lift myself up but my arms don’t allow me to. for a split second i see sadness in dracos silver eyes, but before i know it it’s gone. the mask is back. he nestles an arm under my bent knees, and places the other one under my back. he barely moves me a foot, but it’s the most comfort i’ve had since i got here. 

“stay, please.” i look up at him pleadingly. he nods his head. he discards his white shirt, throwing it to the side before crawling into the bed. he pulls my back flush to his front, tangling our legs together. his pointy chin rests on my shoulder, it hurts but it’s worth it. 

“venus,” he starts,” you don’t know what you just did,” he sounds disappointed. but i think he’s wrong. i know exactly what i’m doing. i know that i’m not letting him go through this alone. i know that i’d do anything to help him. that’s why i’m doing this. 

although i’m not too sure what this is yet. 

we’re able to sleep for a few hours before i’m abruptly woken up by draco thrashing in his sleep. 

“mufflatio,” i cast, not wanting to wake anyone in the manor up. i turn to face him, bringing my hand up to cradle his jaw. “hey,” i whisper,” draco.” his screams are pained, i feel a tug in my heart. 

“you’re fine, you’re dreaming.” all his movements stop. his breath is coming out in harsh pants, hot compared to the cool air of the room. 

“sorry,” he mumbles, his eyes reflecting with the light of the moon. 

“it’s alright,” i whisper. i untangle myself from the sheets, my legs feel sore and unused. “come over here.” i make my way over to the cushioned ledge by the window. i cross my legs, patting the spot in front of me. draco stumbles out of bed, his mind still groggy as he sits on the cushion, resting his head against the wall behind him. 

“tell me about them,” i point out the window, motioning to the constellations. i know that i need to take his mind off of everything else, and the stars are the best way to do that. his breathing begins to even out as he tells me about his favourite constellation: draco. 

“that’s not egotistical at all,” i laugh, grinning at him. he smiles back at me sheepishly. 

“today it’s quite close to my favourite planet.” he points out the window to a small speck in the sky. i feel my cheeks heat up as i glance at him. 

“venus?” i ask. 

“no, saturn.” my jaw drops as he smirks at me. 

“git.” i mumble, nudging him slightly. i’m glad that he’s feeling well enough to make fun of me.


	34. t h i r t y t w o

i wake up the next morning with a weight around my waist. with a squint of my eye i can see the long, pale arm thats draping over me. we’re laying face-to-face, with our legs intertwined. bruises cover his body, every single one of them a different colour than the next. the purple ones are closer to his shoulders, with a few covering his knuckles. pale shades of yellow and green are splotched around his elbow. 

my eyes travel up his face, taking all of him in. i let my eyes flutter shut slowly, knowing that we’re safe in this room. 

“morning,” his voice is rough with sleep. my eyes shoot open in shock i thought he had still been sleeping. “enjoying the view?” he asks, his voice drawling on lazily. my cheeks heat up as i roll my eyes. 

“you’re full of yourself.” he quirks an eyebrow up at me, challenging me. 

“am i?” he asks, tilting his head down. he’s so close that i can feel the puffs of air he lets out. i shrug my shoulders, not offering him a response. he smiles lazily down at me before pressing a kiss to my forehead. 

“we’ll leave back to hogwarts in thirty minutes, is that alright?” i nod my head, not wanting to stay here any longer than i need to. he brings his hand up from my waist and brushes it through my hair, swiping it out of my eyes. his fingers dance against my scalp, comforting me. i close my eyes peacefully, imagining what this year could have been like if it wasn’t for bellatrix. 

the thirty minutes go by quicker than expected. draco brings me out of my sated state with a kiss to the tip of my nose. 

“come on.” he sits up and stretches his pale arms above his head. i stretch out my legs, feeling the aftermath from the unforgivable. i wince quietly as i stand, but draco hears it. he walks over to my side of the bed, holding me up by my elbow. “take it slow.” i nod my head. we slowly walk to the floo located in the living area where i arrived. 

“you go first,” he motions to the floo powder on the right. i smile at him as i scoop it up, trying not to let any fall to the ground. 

“hogwarts!” my voice is loud and clear. i watch as dracos face fade away, and is replaced suddenly by the comforting view of the headmasters office. draco is behind me a split second later, his hand makes its way to the small of my back. 

“my dorm or yours?” he asks as we exit the portrait. 

“yours, theo’s been staying at mine.” draco nods his head and leads the way to the dungeons.

the common room is dead when we arrive, only a few first years are in sight. i watch as we walk by, they’re playing exploding snap. dracos hand remains on the small of my back until we reach his dorm, where he only removes it to open the door for us. 

“so,” he starts. it’s always unnerving when he’s nervous. “i suppose i should tell you about the plan.” i swallow harshly, feeling my heart rate pick up. i nod my head in agreement. 

he inhales sharply before speaking. “bellatrix was a faithful servant to you-know-who,” i knew that, i nod my head. “she’s gotten it into her head that if dumbledore dies, she can bring him back.” i furrow my eyebrows, not quite understanding. “she wants to bring back voldemort. and she’s tasked me with the job of killing dumbledore.” his gaze averts itself, he stares out the window into the green water of the lake. 

“okay,” i say, not wanting him to know how scared i am of this plan. 

“my parents aren’t even death eaters,” his voice raises slightly. “my father doesn’t have a fucking backbone,” he sneers, his hands curling into fists at his side. 

“at least it’ll be easier with two people,” i voice, wanting to make him feel better. his head snaps around immediately. 

“no.” his eyes are filled with an unknown emotion. “you’re not to do anything, i’m the one who needs to do it,” his voice breaks off at the end. 

“draco, it’ll be easier with me there,”. i try to argue but he rolls his eyes at me. 

“and risk having you killed?” he throws his hands into the air in exasperation. “no fucking way.” 

i blink at him. “there’s a risk of us getting killed?” my voice is meek. 

“are you an idiot? of course there’s a risk of getting killed!” he shouts, his face heating up in rage. “i’m tasked with killing the headmaster, you don’t think he’s going to try to fight back?” i hadn’t thought of that, really. 

“merlin venus, you’re fucking daft.” i narrow my eyes at him. 

“it’ll be easier with two people,” i exclaim, i don’t want him to go through this alone. 

“there will be more risk if you’re involved, i’m not allowing for you to get hurt!” he shouts. 

“good thing you don’t have a say in it. bellatrix gets the final say,” i huff. anger flashes in his eyes. i straighten my shoulders before standing up. 

“we can discuss the plan later,” i say before opening the door and leaving. 

i have no idea what i’ve gotten myself into

i hear the door swing open from behind me and i’m suddenly pushed up against a wall. one of dracos hands is placed harshly on my shoulder, pinning me to the wall. the other hand is splayed against the wall, resting beside my head. 

“we are not going to discuss this later,” his voice is deep, making me shudder. “what i say is final, i’m not going to have you fuck up everything i’ve been working toward.”

i blink at him, unsure of what to say. 

“tell me you understand.”

i nod my head quickly, not wanting to make him angrier than he already is. he sighs and pulls back. 

“good.”


	35. t h i r t y t h r e e

i'm lucky enough to have a seat beside draco in muggle studies. he seems a bit calmer today, his eyes gaze lazily across the room before he tears a piece of parchment off and grabs his quill. his neat writing adorns the form paper when he passes it to me. 

you will be involved.   
but i will be the one to carry out the final act. 

i squint at it for a second and attempt to decipher it. i decide not to send him a note back, i know that i'm not good at being cryptic. instead, i give him a small nod and turn my attention back to professor burbage. 

the class is seemingly over before it even begins. i guess that's the perks of zoning out. 

draco takes his time tucking away his notes, he makes sure that none of them crease or fold at the corners. i smile softly, loving the contrast between us. normally i shove my notes into my bag and rush off to the great hall for lunch, but for him i'll wait. 

his pale silver eyes glance down at me when he's done. he reaches out with an outstretched hand and interlaces our pinkies. his hand is cool against mine. 

"can we go out to the lake?" he asks, his voice quiet in the empty room. i hum in agreement, allowing him to lead the way. 

the air is heating up outside, with flowers blooming and the grass becoming greener everyday. small birds flutter around us. 

"my patronus is a hummingbird, y'know?" i gaze up at him, loving the way that the sun casts shadows across his sharp face. he looks down at me with a raised brow. 

"i didnt," his tone is clipped and he sounds a little surprised. 

"what's yours?" i ask curiously. dracos stride stumbles for a second, but he quickly regained his composure. 

"i'm not sure, i've never cast one." i decide to drop it, not wanting to upset him further. instead, i comfortingly squeeze my pinky around his, hopefully letting him know that he's not alone. 

we reach the cusp of the lake, where the water meets the edge of the forbidden forest. there's an obvious dark energy surrounding it; that type of stuff never goes away. dracos hand lets go of mine, and soon after makes its way to my waist. he guides me so that i'm standing in front of him, we're standing chest to back. he rests his chin on my shoulder, pressing a small kiss to the crook of my neck on the way down. i feel myself shiver at the contact. 

"remember this spot." i slowly take in my surroundings, wanting to memorize the exact spot that i'm standing in. the trees come in on either side, leaving me in a small clearing with the water behind me. 

"here you will make a small tear in the wards. it can't be big enough to alert dumbledore but it needs to be big enough to get bellatrix in." his thumb strokes small, comforting circles on my hip. "i want you to come here after dinner and do it," he whispers, his voice deep beside my ear. i suck my bottom lip in between my teeth. it's too late to back out now. i nod my head. 

"i'll be here." i hope that he doesn't hear my voice break at the end. everything's suddenly coming to fruition. it's too real. i swallow the lump in my throat at plaster on a smile. 

"let's go to the great hall, i'm starved." there's a twinkle in his eyes as he looks down at me, and i swear i could get lost in them. 

the rest of the day goes by far too fast. before i know it i find myself exiting the great hall. the sun has since set and the wind has a certain chill to it. it's unnerving. 

the vast difference between the school grounds on night and day are astounding, it's eerie beside the silent lake. my wand illuminates the area around me, and i strain to hear any unwanted visitors. 

i quickly find myself in the same area as i was this afternoon, with dense forest at either side of me. i can't bring myself to bring my wand up yet. i know what will happen when i do. once i tear through the wards, it'll only be a few days before bellatrix waltzes in. only a few days before draco has to kill the headmaster. 

my eyes are shiny with tears as i point my wand up, muttering the spell beneath my breath. a slight glow shoots across the wards, like a lightning bolt. i put all my strength into it as i cry, knowing that this is the point of no return. i feel the wards start to fight back before i withdraw, if i open them any further they'll alert dumbledore. 

i collapse to my knees, feeling the cool dirt against my pants. the tears flow freely down my cheeks, i let everything out. i'm exhausted and i'm angry, i just want this to be over with. 

the sound of a twig breaking causes me to whip my head around. 

"lumos," i mumble, pointing my wand up at the culprit. i'm met with lunas glowing face. her eyes peer down at me, filled with concern. 

"oh, luna," i try to laugh. "you scared me," i sigh. the look of concern doesn't waver. she knees beside me, placing an arm around my shoulder. 

"venus, you don't seem well," she whispers. i sniffle slightly, knowing that i'm gone beyond recovery. 

"it'll be fine luna, don't worry about it." i try to offer a smile, but i know that it's weak. 

"whatever you're doing," she pauses, contemplating her next words. "i don't know how to say it, but it seems as though it's eating away at you." i let my head rest against her shoulder. i am so drained. 

"thank you, luna. but i think i just need to rest." i force myself to my feet and offer her a hand. she pulls herself up and we walk together to the castle. 

luna and i part ways, she goes toward the library as i make my way to the dungeon. 

"veela," i whisper as i reach the wall. it freaks open, the sound of stone gliding against stone fills my ears. the younger students seem to all be in the common room, most of them silent and wide-eyed. i look around suspiciously before i heard the sound of shattering. it takes me a few moments before i realize that everyone is here except for draco. even blaise and theo are in their own corner. i give them a nod of my head as i make my way toward the sound of glass hitting cobblestone. 

dracos door is ajar when i reach it, i take it as a sign to enter. i gasp when i see the mess before me. glass is shattered and discarded across the room. frames from photographs are snapped in half, laying broken near the edges of the walls. draco hasn't heard me enter, i make my way toward him slowly. i place my hand against his shoulder, softly. 

the force of his magic sends me flying backwards, slamming my back against the wall behind us. i wince; the winds been knocked out of me. dracos head snaps around hurriedly. 

"fuck," he mumbles as he rushes to my side. he's crouched down beside me within seconds. "are you hurt, i'm sorry. fuck." he's talking a mile per minute. "sorry. here." he lifts his wand to check for broken bones, luckily there are none. he sighs in relief before scooping me into his arms and placing me gently on his bed. 

"i, uh," he can't take his eyes off of me, his eyes are filled with guilt. 

"it's fine," my voice is hoarse. "it was an accident draco." i reach over to stoke my thumb over his hand. 

"bellatrix is coming tomorrow." my heart plummets. i thought that we had at least a few more days.


	36. t h i r t y f o u r

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexual content

i spend the night in dracos dorm, we’re encased in our own little bubble. a bubble where we can pretend that none of this is real. 

theo came in last night to check on us, he chose to grab some of his belongings and spend the night in my dorm instead. i’m for very grateful for him. 

draco hasn’t woken up yet, i lay facing him, feeling his breath fan against my face. i lean forward and press a small kiss to the tip of his nose, basking in the normalcy. soon after, his eyes flutter open. they’re heavy with sleep yet i can’t take my eyes off of them. his lips quirk up into a smile as he gazes over at me. 

suddenly, his eyes still for a moment. it seems as though the reality of our situation comes flooding back to him, as his eyes are suddenly masked. he jerks his head back suddenly, creating a larger gap in between us. 

“don’t do this draco, you can’t shut me out.” i shake my head, reach my hand forward to grab his. i avert my eyes, instead i focus on the way that the light glints off of his rings. the one on his index shines brighter than the rest. 

“no matter what happens-” he starts, but i cut him off before he can finish. 

“nothing bad is going to happen. the plan will go as written and we will leave with bellatrix.” his adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. 

“no matter what happens,” he starts again. “know that i care about you.” i huff at him. 

“nothing bad will happen, i told you i’ll make sure of it.” i scoot my head closer to his as i feel for my wand, cleaning both of our mouths so that we’re safe from morning breath. 

i lean forward and push my lips against his. i feel his breath hitch before he kisses back. it’s gentle and lazy, yet filled with unspoken emotions. i lift myself up on my arm so that i’m barely hovering over him. his hand glides up my neck and finds purchase in my hair. he tugs slightly at the root. i open my mouth in a gasp, he takes this as an opportunity to slide his tongue in. it glides against mine, flicking against the roof of my mouth. he pulls back for a second to nip at my bottom lip, tugging it into his mouth. when he returns, the kiss deepens immediately. his breathing is harsh in the otherwise quiet room. 

my arm holding me up starts to go numb, so i swing my legs over his hips to straddle him. he groans into my mouth at the contact. i can feel his growing length pushed up against my heat. his hands slip out from my hair and glide down my body. it’s at this moment that i’m glad that we just sleep in undergarments. 

his hands slide over my breasts, he trails his hands around until he’s toying at the clasp. effortlessly he lets it drop before throwing it across the room. my breathing stutters slightly, and i pull away from his lips. i look down at him beneath me and feel heat pool in my stomach. i lean my head back in, sucking marks into his porcelain skin. 

his hands trail down the rest of my body, following the curves of my waist. they rest on either side of my hips in a grip so hard that it’ll bruise tomorrow. i’m blowing air over a fresh mark when he grinds my hips into him. i gasp against his neck, loving the feeling of his cock brushing against my clit. he continues to manhandle me, using my body for his own pleasure. 

he moves my hips in small circles, letting out strings of obscenities. 

“fuck,” he groans in my ear. “can’t wait to ruin you.” i feel myself shudder and clench my thighs. he must get impatient because the next thing i know he’s lifting his hips off of the bed to shuck off his joggers.   
he pushes me further down his thigh, so that his cock pops up just in front of me. i whimper, i don’t think i’ll ever get used to his size. his hand reaches down to circle around his cock. he tugs his bottom lip into his mouth as he stares up at me, lazily stroking his length. as he does so he reaches for his wand with the hand that he tears from my hip. i hear the muttering of the contraceptive charm, and feel the warm glow of it in my stomach. 

dracos tongue swipes out against his lips and i surge forward to connect mine with his. i whimper against his mouth, desperate for him to touch me. he pulls away, panting. 

“do it.” he taps my hip, signalling for me to position myself above him properly. i sit up, wanting to get the angle right. his hand stays resting on my hip as i feel his tip align with my entrance. i suppress a whine as his hips buck up from under me. he sucks in a sharp breath, shutting his eyes as i start to sink down. 

he gets in so much deeper this way, hitting everything that i need. i sink down his length slowly, lifting myself up and dropping myself down. we both moan when he reaches the hilt. i grind down on his cock, loving the way that it fills me up. 

“you feel so good,” he mutters, his eyes never once leaving mine. i whimper before lifting myself up until only the tip is inside me, before slamming myself back down. i can’t stop the moan that rips its way out of my throat. he hits my g-spot perfectly from this angle. 

his hands must get antsy, as they soon find their way back to their spot on my hips. his grip is harsh on my skin but i love it. he moans as i clench my pussy around him. he uses his hands to increase the speed and the pace, filling my core with heat. 

“so good for me.” he fucks into my roughly, groaning as i take all of him. i whimper, loving the praise that he gives me. as his cocks fully inside me he moves my hips in small circles, grinding my against him. i moan at the feeling of my clit being stimulated. he seems to catch on as he takes his right hand from my hip and places it onto my heat. 

his left hand continues to push my hips in small circles, causing him to let out small moans. his hand on my clit applies pleasure, moving in small circles. the heat pooling in my stomach makes me shudder. 

“fuck, i’m so close,” he groans, throwing his head back. he brings his hand on my clit away, returning it to my hip before bouncing me on his cock. his hips buck up to meet me, pushing his length deep inside me. i lean forward, resting my hands on his chest as he fucks into me. 

“please,” i whimper. i feel my orgasm approach slowly, building the pleasure in my core. it’s when i feel his cock twitch inside of me that i finally cum. sparks of electricity flow through my body as he fucks my oversensitive cunt. 

soon after, he sums inside of me. his hips twitch through his orgasm, yet he continues to fuck me until he rides it out. by the time he pulls out in a whimpering mess. 

with the flick of his wand, the mess is gone. 

i collapse against his chest. he presses a small kiss to the top of my head. 

“everything’s going to be fine,” he admits.


	37. t h i r t y f i v e

i must've fallen asleep in dracos bed last night, as i'm awoken with the light glaring through the water onto our faces. it's almost peaceful for a moment. almost. 

it feels as though the air is knocked out of me, as i'm hit with the reality. bellatrix is coming today. today is the day that draco has to kill the headmaster. i peer up at him through my lashes, admiring how childlike he looks while he sleeps. a look of innocence. 

he must feel my gaze on him, because soon he begins to stir awake. there's a glimmer in his eyes, as if there's hope in the world. but much like me, his world comes crashing down around him from the weight of reality. 

"get up," his voice is monotone. his eyes have glazed over with a hardened look, the corners of his mouth down turned into a sneer. i inhale sharply before heading over to his dresser to grab a sweater. there's a dark grey one that catches my eye, i love feeling of the material beneath my fingers. i quickly shrug it on. by the time that i've turned around draco is completely in uniform. his pants are black and straight, his button-up shirt is white. the jacket layered on top is black, contrasting greatly with the white of his skin and the white of the button-up. 

i'm slipping on my discarded running shoes when he approaches me. his hands graze my hips, pulling me in close to him. i look up at him, trying to decipher the hidden emotions in his eyes. one of his hands glides off of my hips and finds purchase on my hand. he interweaves our pinkies, locking them together. he lowers his head, resting his lips on the shell of my ear. 

"everything's going to be fine." 

i wish that i could believe him. 

he pulls back abruptly, as though he's been shocked. there's a flash of emotion across his face, but it doesn't stay. 

"go and meet bella at the opening, i'll be in the tower. bella will be using a glamour so she may be unrecognizable." i wince when he mentions our spot. or, what used to be ours spot. it won't be anymore. "once she's entered unseen, you need to go and guard the door. do not try to be a hero. if anything goes south, i want you to leave." he continues. i hadn't truly thought about how quickly things could go bad. would the other students be harmed? i involuntarily gasp at the thought of anything happening to jules or luna. draco seems to read my mind, as he takes a step closer to me. 

"i've warned theo and blaise," he assures me. truthfully, i'm not worried abo it blaise. i know that he can defend himself. "theo has jules and luna, they're safe." his hand raises to my face, cupping my cheek. swiftly, he leans in, pressing our lips together harshly. the short kiss conveys more emotion than any one before it. 

"go." he quickly leans behind him, picking my wand up from the bed to hand it to me. i nod, leaning forward to pull him into another kiss. i cannot let this one be our last. i turn away and rush down the stairs as stray tears make their way down my cheeks. once i exit the common room i take a moment to collect myself. 

deep breath in.   
deep breath out. 

it's going to be fine. 

my legs work by muscle memory, they carry me around corners before i can even realize where i'm headed. i walk past the great hall, lingering for a moment to bask in the energy. a lump forms in my throat that i force myself to swallow. 

it's going to be fine. 

once out on the school grounds i let out a soft exhale. i could just run, i think. i could run and never turn back. i shake my head to clear these thoughts. i will not and cannot leave draco. i inhale sharply before heading to the edge of the forest. i'm lucky that there are no students roaming around, i'm not sure what bellatrix would do to them. 

near the cusp where the lake meets the forest is the small opening. on the other side stands a woman. my heart leaps out of my chest when i realize it's bella. my heart hurts for her. her hair is curled gorgeously, with the black ringlets framing her face. she's smiling kindly at me, her teeth pearly white. for a moment she looks youthful and happy. 

it's a harsh reminder of what could have been. 

i wait by the lake as she enters through the opening. we stand in silence, listening to see if any alarms are sounded. 

nothing

her pink lips quirk up into a cruel smile as she winks at me. i suck my bottom lip in between my teeth as i turn on my heel. part one is done, now i just need to go and guard the door. 

the weight of our actions begins to sink in, leaving me feeling distraught. 

i rush to the entrance of the tower, leaving bellatrix behind in the schoolyard. my mind is a mess as i run down the halls.

i pass the defence against the dark arts classroom where lupin teaches. a stray tear falls down my face. he's my favourite professor. 

i pass the hufflepuff common room, it takes everything in me not to go and warn them. 

i feel disgusting and selfish when i arrive at the astronomy towers entrance. 

i take in my surroundings quietly. a few stray students roam the corridors, unaware of what's happening behind closed doors. 

i'm gazing off into the distance when bellatrix shoves me aside, flinging the door open madly. i scramble back up onto my feet and rush after her, closing the door behind me as a precaution. 

on the left side of the tower draco is holding dumbledore at wand point. 

"you don't have to do this," dumbledores voice is unwavering. he's smiling at draco. 

draco on the other hand, is crying. his hand is shaky as it points at the headmaster. silent tears stream down his face as he sneers at the wizard. 

"that's not an option." yet he stays, unmoving. my heart rate picks up; he can't hesitate. 

"do it, or i'll kill you!" bellatrix's voice rings as she yells at draco. my jaw drops open. dracos head snaps up at her words. he closes his eyes slowly while exhaling. i watch as his body relaxes. he's decided. his hand wavers slightly before he points his wand downwards. 

with the flick of my wrist my wand is up. there's an energy surging through the room for a moment. 

"avada kadavra!" a flash of green lights up the tower. it lights up dracos face, the perfect corners and points of his face making beautiful shadows. dumbledore watches from across the room, the green light reflecting in his large eyes. almost as soon as it began, the light fades. 

i watch in horror as bellatrix crumples to the ground. 

draco turns to me in shock, his chest heaving as he struggles to stay on his feet. he turns to me, taking a step toward my body as i fall to my knees. i'm drained, and i've performed an unforgivable. 

before i can even comprehend what i've done, i'm apprehended by aurors.


	38. t h i r t y s i x

the aurors hand is cold against my shoulder. there's a moment of clarity before the whirlwind of apparation. before me, i watch draco swirl of out my view. his hand outstretched and his mouth calling my name will forever be engrained in my memory. 

i'm dropped into a cell with a 'thunk'. the aurors close the metal door, leaving me in solitary. the two aurors who had grabbed me walk away, taking a sharp left once they exit my cell. i look to both sides of me, both the left and the right are lined with cells, as is the wall across from me. there's a narrow, dark hallway that seperates the cells. 

the walls around me are dingy, they look as though they haven't been cleaned in years. i walk toward the wall slowly, not taking my eyes off of the dirt layering itself upon the once grey walls. i walk along it's perimeter. the far back wall is made of stone, but the other three are made of metal bars. i reach my hand out to trail my fingers across them when suddenly i'm thrown back across the room. they must be jinxed. i stay on the ground and wait for a someone, anyone, to come and tell me what i should be expecting. 

i'm brought two meals, both by guards who can't, or won't, say much. the meals are spaced out oddly, i'm not too sure what time it is anymore. 

the first guard is younger, a bit more toned than the other. i've nicknamed him A. A never lingers, but he's never abruptly rude. the other guard is quite the opposite. i make sure that i'm as far away from B, what i've nicknamed the other guard, when he comes to bring my meal. his gaze burns into my skin, hungry yet insatiable. i fear that if i was close enough to be tangible, he'd reach out his hand and grab me. 

"please!" i beg as A walks away. "you can search my memory, it was in self defense!" his steps don't falter, they continue down the hall until he disappears. 

the food is bland. i'm not too sure if one could even consider it food. there's boiled potatoes, boiled green beans as well as some sort of meat. i swallow it all, knowing that i can't allow for them to break me. 

it's hard to sleep with the sounds of guards A and B chatting in the distance. guard B's deep, raspy voice echoes down the thin hall, bouncing off of the walls. i try my best to keep myself awake, but i cave in. i sleep in the far right corner with my knees pulled up to my chest. my heart pangs when i think about draco, so i try to keep my thoughts away from him. drifting off into sleep is hard, he always finds his way into my dreams. 

"get up," guard B says as he pushes my meal through an opening between the bars. i scramble to my feet, needing to use every second i have to plead for information. "eat it now, or don't eat at all." i completely ignore the food being pushed at me for a moment. 

"i'll take veritaserum!" i shout, doing everything i can so that i don't accidentally graze the metal bars. my eyes are pleading as i stare at him. he stares back, his eyes lacking emotion. 

"nothing can be done until the trial." his words ring in my head. 

trial. 

i'm going on trial for murder. 

the days bleed into one another, i'm truly not sure what day it is when draco and dumbledore come to visit. i hear their steps echo throughout the hall, dracos quicker than the headmasters. 

i can't help the smile that forces it's way onto my face when i finally see him. i missed everything about him, so much so that it's overwhelming. i blink away the tears that form in my eyes, not wanting him to see me cry. 

the mask that his his eyes is gone, and for a moment it fixes things. knowing that he's no longer afraid to feel emotions, that he's no longer afraid to be himself makes me feel elated. but at the same time, i'm distraught. his eyes are filled with an indescribable sadness. they're a dark grey, and i think there's a bit of anger in there too. 

"are you mad?" i ask, needing to know. he lets out a small laugh, shaking his head. 

"i'm pissed," he scoffs. "but i'm also thankful." he reaches his hand in between the bars to grab ahold of my pinky. it only takes a few seconds before a guard is rushing down the hallway to stop us, but it's all i needed. a reminder to keep going. 

i turn to dumbledore, he's smiling down at me. 

"ms. tugwood-zabini, i want to assure you that i will get you out of this mess," he drawls on, a small dawning his face. i can't help but smile back at him. 

"how?" i ask, my voice small. my eyes drift over to draco, the corners of his lips are quirked up into a half smile. 

"let us worry about that," draco says. a smile grazes my lips he talks. i feel butterflies in my stomach when i look at him. merlin, i've missed him so much. 

"i missed you." i whisper, wanting to savour a moment between just the two of us. he rolls his eyes playfully. 

"don't go soft on me," he laughs. i find myself laughing too, we both know that i've always been soft. especially for him. "i've missed you too," his voice is soft and quiet. 

"times up!" the guards voice is heard from down the hall. dracos eyes shoot down the hall, suddenly angry. i offer him a smile when he glances back at me. dumbledores already heading down the hall, yet draco lingers for a moment. he basks in it. a moment shared between the two of us. we haven't had many of those. 

with the nod of his head, he turns and leaves. before disappearing out of my view, he turns his head back and offers me a smile. a glimmer of hope. i retreat back into the corner, holding that smile dear to my heart.


	39. t h i r t y s e v e n

i'm kept in the dark for an obscure amount of days. by my calculations, it must have been five days since draco visited. the only thing that truly gives me hope is draco and dumbledores plan, i just pray that it isn't idiotic. 

"get up," guard A's softer voice demands. swiftly, i rise to my feet, feeling slightly faint from the lack of food. 

the guard flicks his wand, encasing my wrists in shackles. they're a light silver with a buzzing blue light surrounding them. he opens the door, it freaks with old age. i cringe slightly. the guard motions for me to step forward. i do so, not wanting to suffer the repercussions. his hand grips my shoulder tightly as he leads me down the dark hall. almost every cell on the sides is empty, save for the few holding dark wizards and witches. 

he pushes me inside an elevator and presses a button, sending us shooting across the ministry. i feel my stomach do flips as i lean against the wall for support. 

the wall through the ministry is short, with adrenaline coursing through my body throughout the journey. we stop in front of two large, black doors. he flicks his wand, undoing the cuffs on my wrists. he stays silent, offering me no advice as he shoves me inside. suddenly, i'm face to face with the wizengamot. people of all ages sit in the stands, but my eyes are only searching for one. i pause when i see his platinum blonde hair pointing out above everyone else in the crowd. i offer him a smile, hoping that he can see it. beside him, i'm able to make out blaise, as well as theo, jules and luna swotting to his right. i take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. everything is going to be fine. it has to be. 

my legs carry me to the chair stationed in the middle of the room. i take a seat, feeling the magic bind me to the chair immediately. in front of me, a few levels up, sits the chief warlock. i don't recognize him, i really should pay attention more at school. 

"ms. tugwood-zabini, today we are investigating the charges against you for the use of an unforgivable. the use of an unforgivable is illegal. you were taught this in fourth year, is this correct?"

"yes, but-" i'm cut off abruptly before i'm able to defend myself. 

"and you produced the curse in a sound state of mind?" he asks, peering down at me through his glasses. there's a slight hum amongst the wizengamot. 

"no, i was not in a sound state of mind," i pause, waiting for him to cut me off again. he doesn't. "draco malfoy and i were being threatened and blackmailed by bellatrix lestrange. we were tasked with killing the headmaster, and neither of us wanted to go through with it." there are several gasps around the room, no one knew what bellatrix was up to before this moment. "that night in the astronomy tower would not have ended without at least one killing curse, and i'm under the impression that me using it on an escaped azkaban prisoner was the lesser of the evils." 

"how do we know she's not lying?" a member of the wizengamot pipes up. i smile smugly, knowing that i have enough proof to save myself, as well as draco. although draco himself isn't on trial, i know that the ministry would do whatever it takes to get a malfoy locked up in azkaban. 

"i'm willing to go under veritaserum." the room erupts. it's rare for someone under trial to do so without being offered. the chief bangs his gavel on the podium, ordering silence. once the room has settled, he speaks. 

"bring in the veritaserum."

a small vial is brought in by guard A, who must have been waiting outside the door. he grasps my chin with his thumb, forcing my mouth open. he pours the contents of the vial into my mouth before walking away. 

the trial goes on, as they pester me about every interaction i've had with draco, as well as with bellatrix. 

they're deep in discussion with one another, all of them trying to figure out what they should do with me. i try to block them out, i don't want to get my hopes up. the buzz in the room simmers down until there's silence once again. 

the chief clears his throat as he stands. 

"the winzegamot finds venus tugwood-zabini," he pauses, causing my heart rate to elevate. "not guilty." i sump forward, exhausted. "by reason of self-defense." i'm released from the bind of the chair just in time for draco to wrap his arms around me. he must have run from his spot in the crowd down to my chair. hot tears fill my eyes as i laugh into the crook of his neck. i can feel him laughing in shock against me too. he pulls away, supporting my face with his slender fingers. he brushes the tears out of my eyes before leaning in and pressing a peck to my mouth. 

"we can go," he whispers as he takes my hand, leading me to a portkey. the world whirs around us, and we're dropped in his dorm. 

"i'm gonna go shower," i tell him, nodding my head toward the bathroom. he smiles and nods, passing me a pair of his pants and a hoodie from his drawers. i take them gratefully and head toward the bathroom. 

i turn the water on, sticking my hand in to check the temperature before undressing. i refuse to look at myself in the mirror, knowing that five days in a dungeon mustn't be a good look on me. i stare down at my hands, frowning at the dirt that covers my fingernails. our prison system is abhorrent. 

i step into the hot water and feel my muscles relax instantly. i sigh, loving the way that it cascades down my body. i decide to wash myself first, reaching for the body wash that i keep in dracos bathroom. it smells of vanilla and cherries. i lather it on my skin and begin to scrub away at the dirt and grime. once i'm finally happy with that, i turn to grab the shampoo. pouring a generous amount into my hand, i begin to massage my scalp. i rinse away the suds, running my fingers through my long hair. i use dracos conditioner, knowing that it's from france and probably expensive. my hair soaks up the moisture and begins to untangle. maybe i should invest in some of this conditioner. 

after rinsing out the conditioner i turn off the water, as it's began to run cold. i wrap myself in his fluffy white towel, drying off my body. i grab a larger towel for my hair and throw it up in the tower as well. 

once i've sufficiently dried my body i throw my towel to the side, knowing that the house-elves will pick it up later. i pull on the pair of black joggers he's given me, i have to roll up the ankles as they're too long for me. next is the forest green hoodie. i inhale, it smells like him. my cheeks flush. i can't even begin to comprehend how much i've missed him.


	40. t h i r t y e i g h t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning : sexual content.

i leave the steamy bathroom to go join draco on his bed. i flop down next to him, tangling our legs together at the first chance that i'm given. his hand makes its way to my face, he cups my cheek gently. 

"how are you feeling?" he asks, his voice slightly groggy. i smile up at him, biting my lip gently. 

"i'm good," i say honestly. his eyes light up as he smiles back at me. 

"dumbledore gave us the next two days off." his thumb strokes small circles on the apple of my cheek. 

"what day is it?" i ask. i assume that it's wednesday, but i'm not too sure. draco smiles softly at me. 

"thursday," he whispers. i furrow my eyebrows, confused as to how i was a day off. "don't overthink it," he lets out a small laugh, rolling his eyes softly. i huff at him, but i can't seem to help fight the smile that quirks at my lips. 

"so, we have two days," he drawls. "and i've been told that there's a party tomorrow, if you're up for it." he quirks a brow up at me. i grin at him, loving the feeling of normalcy again. 

"rest today, party tomorrow," i tell him, stretching my neck up to press a lingering kiss to his lips. he melts into it, immediately carding his fingers into my hair. 

"missed you so much," he mumbles against my lips. i pull away to smile at him, but i can't help the yawn that escapes my lips. he chuckles softly. i'm in awe at how many times i've seen him laugh today, it gives me butterflies. "tired?" i nod my head. he pulls my in closer to him, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. 

he accio's us a blanket, covering both of us up. i'm instantly sated, basking in the newfound warmth. his hand in my hair continues to massage my scalp. his fingers knead small circles into my hair, trailing them around my scalp. for the first time in a week, i feel safe as i drift to sleep. 

when i awake in dracos arm the room is pitch black. outside of the window i can see the silhouette of the giant squid swimming through the lake. dracos breath above me is coming out in hot puffs against my face. he's dreaming peacefully, with his eyes softly fluttered shut and his eyelashes resting gently against his cheeks. i reach my hand up to gently brush my thumb along the sharp edge of his cheek bone, loving the feeling of having him in my arms again. i sigh, nuzzling my head into his chest as i fall asleep sleep once more, merlin knows i need it. 

the feeling of fingers brushing through my hair stirs me awake. dracos hoisted up on one arm, looking down at me with soft eyes. 

"look who's finally awake," he mumbles sarcastically. i smile and raise an eyebrow at him. "it's four in the afternoon." my eyes shoot open almost comically at that. he laughs before pulling away to stretch his arms above his head. while he does so, his hoodie rides up slightly, exposing his toned abdomen. 

"my eyes are up here," he laughs. i find myself laughing back at him. i get myself up and reach for dracos hair brush on the side of the bed. i quickly get ready, i'm fuelled by my need to eat. i charm my mouth clean, not enjoying the slick feeling it leaves behind, but it will do. draco crosses the room to get to me, closing the distance between us. he takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger before leaning down to press a kiss to my lips. he pulls away before it can develop any further, but it leaves behind unsaid promises for tonight. 

the walk to the great hall is quiet as we bask in each other presences. i rest my head against his shoulder before we part our ways. he makes his way to the slytherin table. i see blaise and theo sitting side-by-side. blaise offers me a warm smile, theo's on the other hand is goofy. i grin back at the both of them before i'm suddenly encased in a hug. suddenly, another pair of arms wrap around my, each person pulling me closer to themselves. 

after finally breaking free and catching my breath, i'm able to see that it's luna and jules. i wrap my arms around their necks, pulling them back in for a second embrace. 

"venus!" luna exclaims when she pulls away. "i should have known something was wrong when we were in the forest," she says, looking upset with herself. i frown, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"luna, i wouldn't have told you, even if you did ask," i don't want her to blame herself for this. there was nothing that she could have done to stop it. i nod my head toward the hufflepuff table, trying to hint to them that we should go and sit down. they follow in pursuit. jules takes her seat across from me, and luna sits to my left. she takes her seat as if she sits here everyday, when in reality it's not even her houses table. i throw my arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. 

"the rest of this year better be amazing," i joke as i reach forward to put some chicken on my plate. i'm alerted to another presence by the bench dropping down to my right. out of the corner of my eye i can see ced's messy brown hair. he pulls me into a hug before i can say anything to him. 

"who knew a hufflepuff could be so secretive," he says as though it's a huge scandal. i scoff and jokingly smack him upside the head. he pouts as he rubs his head, yet his eyes are filled with mischief. 

"so, i heard there's a party tonight?" i ask, hoping to hear some insight as for what to expect. jules' eyes light up across from me. 

"okay, so," she continues on, explaining every aspect of the party in detail. it's a party to promote inter house unity set up by hermione. i chuckle at at, of course that's something she'd do. it's taking place in the room of requirement at nine tonight, and apparently cedric snagged enough liquor to kill a small troll. 

i walk back to my common room with jules, waving draco a goodbye on the way out. 

we spend the next three hours picking out our outfits and deciding on what makeup to wear. jules decides on a black and red plaid dress with a white undershirt. for myself, i choose a black, skin tight dress. the fabric is cool against my warm skin. we both decide on wearing flats, as we know that heels and alcohol do not mix well together. our makeup looks are minimalistic, jules goes for some dark eyeshadow as well as eyeliner and mascara. i, on the other hand, choose to opt out on the eyeshadow. i wing my eyeliner and apply a set of false lashes to my lid. i flutter my eyes open and closed, loving the feeling of the lashes against my skin. 

before we leave jules stands in front of me, blocking the door. 

"i really am glad you're alright," she says in the most serious tone i've ever heard from her. i smile and wrap my arms around her. 

"everything's alright now," i mumble. "sorry for not hanging out as much this year."

"don't worry about it," she pulls away, shoving at my shoulder gently. 

we walk side by side to the room of requirement, lost deep in meaningless conversation. as we finally reach the wall where the room is, we watch as it appears before our eyes. as we walk towards it and open the door, we're able to feel the best of the music beneath our feet. 

theo, blaise and draco are sitting at a set of couches in the far left corner of the room. we both grab a random shot off of a table as we pass by, ignoring the shouts of the ravenclaws that we just stole the shots from. as i near draco i make the decision not to go too hard tonight, i want to remember this night. 

draco, on the other hand, seems to be taking advantage of tonight. he smiles openly at blaise who sits across from him, both of them lost in some meaningless conversation. his eyes shoot up as i near him, they're full of life as he gazes up at me. i smile down at him before taking a seat beside him. suddenly, his cold hands wrap around my waist, tugging me onto his lap. i giggle slightly, throwing my head back to rest on his shoulder for a moment. 

he presses a small, lingering kiss to the crook of my neck before grazing his lips against the shell of my ear. 

"you look fucking hot." i laugh, my eyes crinkling at the corners. i've missed his confidence, i'm glad that he has it back. 

across from us, luna delves into a story about the pixie infestation in her attic. i'm barely able to pay attention as dracos hands roam my waist. the fabric of the dress is thin enough for me to be able to feel the cold metal of his rings as hey glide across me. i hold back a shiver, not wanting to give everyone around us a free show. 

as the night goes on, draco finds himself grabbing every available drink. he's reaching out for a shot of firewhiskey when i grab his wrist gently. 

"you alright?" i ask, turning my head to the side so that i can look at him. he smiles lazily back at me, clearly drunk. 

"i am amazing," he states with a small laugh. i rolls my eyes at him playfully. 

"i don't want you to get sick," i nudge him slightly with my shoulder. i grab an empty cup off of the table and point my wand at it. "aguamenti." water expels out from the tip of my wand and into the once empty cup. i raise it to his lips gently, encouraging him to sober up a bit. he accepts the cup and brings a hand up to hold it, successfully downing the whole cup. 

"fuck, i've gotta piss," he groans. i chuckles before standing up, leading him out of the room of requirement. "why are there no bathrooms around?" he whines as we wander the halls in search of the hufflepuff common room. 

"you'll be fine," i assure him, keeping a hand around his waist to help him stay upright. the second that the entrance swings open draco bolts up the stairs. i can't help the smile that grazes my lips. i hurry up after him, not wanting him to accidentally wander into some second years dorm. luckily, i see that the door to my dorm is slightly ajar, meaning that he made his way to the bathroom safely. he steps out a few moments later with a potion in hand. he holds the potion up to the light, inspecting it. 

"it's a sober-up potion," i tell him, seeing as how he's apparently too intoxicated to read the label. his mouth forms a small 'o'. he shrugs his shoulders before opening the vial, and downing its contents. i shake my head at him, knowing in the back of my mind where this night is going. 

after a few moments draco jerks his head up, suddenly aware of his surroundings. i watch how his eyes darken from the comfort of my bed. 

it only takes him three strides before he's standing in front of me, pulling me to my feet by the neckline of my dress. he immediately slots our lips together, there's a hunger behind it. i part my lips for him, eagerly wanting more. his tongue flicks against my bottom lip before it surges into my mouth. his tongue grazes mine, forcing me to hold back the whine that threatens to escape. one of his hands comes up to tangle itself in my hair, the other rests on my hip. his grip on my hair tightens, yanking my head back to expose my neck. i let out a small whimper at that. his lips attach themselves to my neck, sucking hard enough to leave bruises. once finished with each mark he tongues over them gently, soothing them. his hand on my hip drifts slowly to my heat, palming me over my dress. my legs shake as heat pools in my core. he slips a finger underneath my dress, playing with my panties. 

"so wet for me, aren't you?" his teeth graze my ear as he speaks. i have to force myself from bucking into his touch. suddenly, he pulls away. i'm about to protest when his hands find purchase on my hips. he lifts me up, placing me onto the bed. he joins me soon after, hovering over me with his hands placed beside my head. i sit up, forcing him back into his knees. i reach down for the hem of my dress, pulling it up and over my head. his eyes rake down my body, taking it all in. i watch as his eyes linger on my bare chest, his breathing picking up as he watches me. 

"take it off," he demands, his voice clouded with lust. he jerks his head, motioning to my panties. i nod, quickly discarding them on the side of the bed. his hands wrap around my waist as he tugs me closer to him, forcing me back onto my back. 

"i am going to make you feel so good," he growls in my ear. i whimper, arching my back against the bed. he sits up, quickly ridding himself of his clothing as well. his cock his hard and long, jutting out against his stomach. i feel my core tighten with lust. 

"think you can take me without prep?" he asks, positioning himself at my entrance. my eyes widen, i know that it'll hurt. but i find myself nodding. he smirks, teasingly rubbing his tip against my entrance. i let out a small moan at that, i'm unable to hold it back. i can hear him mumbling incoherently, and suddenly i'm encased by the warm feeling of the contraception charm. 

without warning he snaps his hips forward. my head falls back against the pillows as i adjust to his size. his hips thrust shallowly into me. 

"fuck," he groans," you feel so good around me." his grip on my hips tightens as his thrusts pick up the pace. a moan gets caught in my throat as he slams into my g-spot. his head is thrown back in ecstasy's he moans. he lift my hips up slightly, changing the angle completely. a moan involuntarily rips its way from my throat. draco chuckles darkly, basking in our pleasure. his hips snap forward against mine, pressing himself against my most sensitive part as he reaches his hilt. i feel the heat pooling in my core become more intense. with every thrust my body lights up, as if it's being shocked repeatedly. 

i'm brought to completion when draco brings his fingers to rub at my clit while he thrusts into me. 

"i love you," i moan out, meaning every word of it. draco stills for a moment, his cock twitching inside of me. i know how he is with affection, so i don't pressure him. "you don't have to say it back, just prove it." his legs twitch against me before he slams back into me, chasing his own release. his thirsts are more aggressive, each time he slams into me i moan out in overstimulation. it doesn't take long before he's cumming inside of me. 

he pulls out gently, brushing my hair out of my eyes. 

he doesn't need to say it back, i know that he loves me too.


	41. t h i r t y n i n e

i'm rudely awoken the next morning to the sound of muffled laughs. i'm able to vaguely make out the words. 

"-so cute," a feminine voice speaks. i huff, knowing that my quiet time with draco is about to be cut short. i thank the gods that we both put on clothes before sleeping last night. 

"it would be a shame if someone woke them," a male voice rings out. my head immediately shoots up, bringing me face to face with theo. 

"whatever you're planning, don't." i slowly back away, not trusting whatever they have planned. my instincts were right, as suddenly jules' wand begins expelling ice cold water onto dracos bed. i grab the nearest blanket and attempt to cover us, but soon after it's soaked as well. dracos shot up out of bed within seconds, his hands reaching wildly for his wand. jules stops her steadily stream and backs away to theo, their laughs bouncing off the walls. 

"ha ha, very funny," draco says sarcastically. i find myself laughing a bit at the sight of him. his hair is drenched, pushed down flat against his forehead. his eyes aren't angry, as they normally are. instead, his eyes have a playful glint to them. i can't help but lean in and place a kiss to his lips. he kisses back, deepening it slightly before i pull away. he rolls his eyes playfully before leaning in to press one last peck. 

"alright, get up," theo drawls, clapping his hands for extra measures. i roll my eyes at him. 

"why should we?" i ask, crossing my arms in front of my chest. theo's eyes look as though they're about to bulge out of is head. 

"why?" he repeats back. "are you serious?" his jaw hangs slack. i look to jules, she offers no help. draco is too busy trying to dry his hair with his wand to help me out. 

"yes, why?" i finally give in. 

"today's the house cup ceremony, y'know," he pauses for a second, looking at everyone. "the final feast of the year." beside him, jules nods her head. 

"fuck, i had forgotten about that," draco pipes up. i furrow my brows in confusion. 

"we didn't take the OWL's yet!" i exclaim, my eyes searching dracos. 

"they were cancelled due to all the commotion," he explains, his eyes pouring into mine. i nod my head gently, taking a moment to soak it all in. 

"wow," i huff. "i was going to chest off of you, y'know?" i nudge him with my shoulder, offering him a goofy smile. he smiles back at me, bringing a hand up to brush a wet strand out of my eye. 

"alright, time to go!" theo shouts, heading to the door. 

"theo i'm soaked, i'd like to dry off," i laugh, standing to grab a change of clothes. he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me out the door. 

"no time!" he shouts, motioning for draco and jules to follow. the energy in the air is different as we walk to the great hall. i bask in it, it gives me a sense of hope. 

theo goes on and on about some quidditch player until we're finally torn away from the boys, heading our separate ways. i watch as draco walks away to take his seat at the table. i turn to my own table, smiling over at cedric. 

we must be a few moments late, as the headmaster has just silenced everyone. jules and i rush to our spots at the table before he can begin. 

"what an exciting year this has been," he starts, raising his brow at me from the podium. 

"to finish this school year off, i am going to announce this years winners of the house cup!" the crowd of students bursts into applause. around me, the younger students have looks of amazement on their faces. 

"coming in first we have slytherin! with 1,682 points! the banners around us turn green and silver. i sulk down slightly, although i try not to let it get to me. "in second we have hufflepuff," my ears perk up at the sound of my house. "who have acquired 1,653 points!" there's scattered applause around me. dumbledore notes on about the house points, with gryffindor coming in last place. apparently mcgonnagall had caught them throwing a few parties. 

"before i finish, it would seem that there are some last minute points that need to be awarded!" the room goes silent, everyone frozen to their seats. 

"i will be awarding venus tugwood-zabini twenty-nine points for immense courage, and bravery." cedric swings his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his embrace. the room is buzzing with energy as people make mental calculations. 

"that means that we won by two points!" jules exclaims, throwing her hands into the air. i feel cedric chuckle. 

"do the math again," he laughs. "we tied with slytherin." i furrow my brows; i'm not sure if houses have ever tied before. the banners around us switch, suddenly becoming half yellow, and half green. i look over at draco to find him smiling over at me. he sends me a wink across the room before turning to theo. 

after the feast is over we make our way to the courtyard. 

"i didn't pack my trunk!" i exclaim to jules. 

"the house-elves did, don't worry," she comforts me. i let out a small exhale, suddenly relieved. i jump a bit when i feel two hands slither over my waist. i don't have to guess who it is, i can feel the cold rings pressing into my skin. 

"sit with me on the train?" he asks. i nod my head yes, turning to look at him. 

he averts his eyes for a second before speaking. "blaise invited me to your home for the summer." my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. draco tries to look indifferent, but i know that this is really just him asking for permission. 

"do it," i tell him with the shrug of my shoulders. the corner of his lip twitches up into a half smile. 

"alright," he whispers before turning my body around to face him completely. he leans in suddenly, planting a soft kiss to my lips. one of his hands trails up to my jaw to cradle it. he pulls away before it can deepen and i sigh, missing the contact already. 

"find me and theo on the train," he says before turning on his heels and disappearing into the crowd of students.


	42. e p i l o g u e

the summer sun is beaming down at us through the open window. draco and i lay facing one another, one of his pale, long arms wrapped around my waist as he sleeps. i stretch my legs on the bed as i open my eyes. draco lays beside of me, still sleeping. i take a moment to take all of him in. 

my eyes gaze upon his pale, unblemished skin. the same skin that was once littered with bruises of all shades. his skin is soft, as i reach out and caress his cheek. his nose twitches softly in his sleep. i bite back a smile, loving the way that the butterflies swarm in my stomach. i love the slight flush to his cheeks, it makes him look healthy. his cheekbone is sharp under my thumb, but not unnaturally so. i feel the concave positions of his face, ranging from the hollows of his cheeks to the crook of his neck. i drink all of him in, loving every second of it. i love the golden glow of the sun casting shapes on his milky skin. it takes a moment for me to realize how grateful i am. how grateful i am for such a perfect boy. 

but for a second, i'm consumed by anger. i'm angry that this isn't the draco that i got to see all year long. i'm angry that bellatrix took that from him. he wasn't able to have perfect, unblemished skin. he wasn't able to have a healthy glow to his skin. he always looked to be a sick shade of grey when she was around. she was the reason for his hollowed out cheeks, so much so that he looked sick. 

i swallow down the rage that manifests itself as a lump in my throat. i force myself to take a deep breath, not wanting to disturb draco in his sleep. i can't allow myself to become angry at situations that are in the past, at situations that i cannot control. if i become filled with hatred and bitterness i'll be no better than bellatrix herself. i refuse to let my hatred consume me. 

draco begins to stir when the small circles in rubbing on his cheeks cease. 

"why'd you stop?" he grumbles, his voice deep with sleep. i laugh softly, loving his morning voice. he peels an eye open to pester me. he lets his lids droop down lazily. 

"sorry, princess," i joke, continuing the small circles on his skin. i feel the tension in his body dissipate the second i continue. i can't help but let my mind wander. this entire year is filled with 'what if's'. 

draco huffs before peeking an eye open. "you're thinking too much."

"how would you know that?" i ask, raising a brow. dracos lips turn into a small smile, a telltale sign that he's about to say something that he deems as hilarious. 

"because i smell smoke," he laughs. i can't help but laugh with him. i wish that we could have laughed more this year. 

i watch as draco stretches in the morning sun, as it casts shadows along all of his harsh edges. he hits his lip as he does so, seemingly overthinking. 

"i thought i was the one who overthought things," i say, hinting for him to open up. he rolls his eyes at me before laying back down. we're laying face to face with our legs intertwined . 

"just thinking," he says. i scoff at that. 

"i know that much. care to share?" i ask, bringing a hand up to run my fingers through his pale blonde hair. 

"i'm just wondering if i'm more trouble than i'm worth," he says abruptly. he doesn't elaborate further, he just leaves it. 

"what do you mean?" i ask in confusion. 

he sighs gently before his eyes meet mine. "i'm just thinking. i think that your year would have been better if i wasn't in it." i can't help but laughs at that. draco looks shocked for a second before i explain myself. 

"draco, i cared for you well before this year," i admit. "no one can ever be sure of what would have happened that night in the astronomy tower if i wasn't there. but i'd take bellatrix dying over any other option." he nods his head in agreement, pursing his lips slightly. his mind seems to be racing, with so many thoughts crossing his mind he struggles to pick just one to focus on. his eyebrows knit together, pinching his face together

"all i do is cause you trouble," his voice is rough with emotion. 

"maybe i like trouble." and for a second, we're encased in silence. we both bask in it, taking a moment to absorb each other's thoughts. 

i don't think that i like trouble, really. i mean c'mon, i'm a hufflepuff. but if draco malfoy is what people deem as trouble, then yes, i love trouble. 

—

a/n

that is the end of chemistry guys!  
thank you so much for reading, i loved reading all of your comments.  
i hope you enjoyed the journey :)


	43. thank you!

if you’ve stayed to the end i just wanted to give you a huge thank you. my book was intended to be an outlet for me, but i’m very glad that others were able to enjoy it as well :)


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